


What Wasn't Supposed To Happen

by Katt1848



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alcohol, Ambiguous Morallity, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Bisexual Male Character, Blowjobs, Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dysphoria, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Eye Trauma, Eyes, FTM, FTM Kurapika, Forced Orgasm, Gay Male Character, Gender Ambiguous Kalluto, Gender Confusion, Gender Dysphoria, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I attempted to make a new Troupe member, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Molestation, Morally Ambiguous Character, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Other possibly triggering topics please proceed with caution, POV Change, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Passing Out, Post-Canon, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut, Spoilers, Spoilers For York Shin Arc, Spoilers for Dark Coninent Arc, Spoilers for Election Arc, Spoilers for Greed Island Arc, Spoliers for Chimera Ant Arc, Torture, Trans Kurapika, Violence, improper binding, kind of, kurokura, leopika - Freeform, red eyes, trans slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14418558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katt1848/pseuds/Katt1848
Summary: Kurapika is still hunting down the Phantom Troupe, and disguises himself as a girl to get close to their leader, Chrollo. Unfortunately for him, nothing goes according to plan, and Kurapika gets himself captured by the leader. Set post Dark Continent arc!





	1. [Capture Arc] Chapter 1: The Club

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to LadyOfTheOldWorld for reading through each chapter (after I posted it but better than nothing <3 ) to help me correct grammar and sentence structure and stuff like that even though some of the scenes made them really uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahhhhh first multi-chapter fic. I have started working on the second chapter, but depending on the reception this chapter gets, i may or may not post it.

Kurapika knocked on the plain brown door, feeling the bass of the music reverberating in his core. He was currently in disguise, wearing a tight jean skirt with fishnets, a red crop top, and was sporting a surprising amount of cleavage. He was also wearing makeup and a black wig, making his gray eyes stand out more. He was here with a goal in mind -- get one of the Troupe members to take him back to their hideout. Kurapika didn’t care how, if they kidnapped him, or took him back to fuck, he just needed to get there to enact his plan. 

He found out that some of the Spider frequented this club after he had done endless amounts of research, even going as far as to enlist Senritsu’s help to double and triple check the heartbeats to make sure it was them. Everything so far had gone according to plan: finding out when they usually were there, who was there, and how long they stayed. Tonight it should be Machi, Nobunaga, and Feitan, along with Chrollo. He got a ride from Senritsu, who knew what he was doing, and didn’t approve, but knew better than to try and stop him. What he hadn’t been expecting was Senritsu to have gone behind his back and told Leorio about the plan, only partially, and pick him up before she got Kurapika. To say he was surprised would be the understatement of the year..

So now here he was, knocking on the door to a strip club with a fake I.D., very inappropriately dressed, with a man he hadn’t seen since the expedition to the Dark Continent. Very angry, and very awkward. 

“You’re not going to keep me from going through with my plan Leorio. And I would still like you to leave, as I will be acting in a behavior that is not befitting of me, or the relationship we harbor. It would be...improper.” Kurapika stated, trying stubbornly to get the man to leave. But as stubborn as he was, he hated to admit that Leorio was one of the few who could match it; the man stayed firmly where he was, escorting Kurapika into the club once the security guard let them through.

“You’re not going to get me to leave, even if you stripped down to just your thong and did a pole dance. Speaking of which, how is that not uncomfortable to wear? Just thinking about it makes my dick hurt.” The question, or further explanation, did nothing to soothe the waters between the two of them. In actuality, it resulted in Kurapika getting angrier. 

“I have my ways. Now get lost.” he said testily, shoving Leorio away from him. “You want to help me? Then stay away from me. Pretend you’re my boyfriend and we just had a fight. If you’re that worried about me, then keep your distance.” With that, Kurapika stormed off in the direction of the bar, keeping his eyes peeled for any of the faces he was looking for. The first person he noticed was Machi, her bright pink hair easy to spot across the club. He made a beeline for the bar, staying close to her, but not sitting next to her. He wasn’t exactly keen to have Machi be the one to take him back, but if no one else showed, then she would have to do. Out of any of them, he would prefer either Nobunaga, because he could easily deal with a sword, or Chrollo himself. He had heard from Gon and Killua about Feitan being the one the Troupe relied on to get information, so he wanted to steer clear of him tonight.

He wished he could have out his chains -- he would feel infinitely times safer if he did -- but it would give away who he was instantly. He knew that Nobunaga, Machi, and Chrollo knew his nen abilities, and while he wasn't sure about Feitan, it was already dangerous enough as is. He had heard what happened to Hisoka when he finally had his showdown with Chrollo. He could only imagine what they would do to him…

Kurapika shuddered and focused on the task at hand.

He ordered himself a drink, a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He was going to need to be at least a little buzzed if he was going to be hitting on someone who killed his clan members. He downed the glass in one go, asked for another, then downed that one too. He set the cup down, and the bartender filled it up again. This one Kurapika nursed, while looking around. 

He spotted Leorio at the far end of the bar, clearly keeping an eye on him. He could also feel his eyes wandering along his frame, causing Kurapika to feel incredibly self conscious. He turned away from him with a huff, only to be stopped when his legs bumped into someone on the other side of him. He looked up at the tall man and saw the Troupe leader. He was wearing suit pants and black dress shirt with the first few buttons undone. He also had his hair down with a bandage wrapped around his head, presumably to hide the tattoo. He ignored his heart skipping a beat. ‘Why is he so attractive what the hell.’ He felt anger and hatred heat up his core, but he pushed the feelings down.

Chrollo turned to look at who had bumped him, and Kurapika saw his eyes drag down his body, resting at a few places. He gulped down his sudden nerves and let his voice raise to it’s natural pitch, putting on a flirty look. “See something you like~?” 

The other man smiled and sat down. “I was more so wondering why someone as pretty as you was fighting with her significant other. I'd imagine that you would have him wrapped around your little finger.” Chrollo glanced over Kurapika’s shoulder, seeing Leorio glaring at him. Kurapika looked back, shooting Leorio his own glare. He then turned back to Chrollo with a huff, crossing his arms under his chest as he sat up straight. “He and I are taking a break. A long one. Asshole can’t keep his hornyness in check when I’m not there.” Kurapika let more emotion slip through on that than he meant to, but he couldn't exactly go back now. Besides, he was starting to feel lighter while talking about it.

“I apologize for that. Would you like another drink? Get your mind off it?” Damn why was this man so smooth? He was going to say no, but his body betrayed him, nodding his head and leaning towards the other a little, exposing more cleavage. He watched the older man order both of them a glass of whiskey, the bartender complying quickly. Kurapika drank about half of it, while Chrollo nursed his drink. “Did you want to talk about it?” 

“Not particularly…” Kurapika said, downing the rest of his drink. “He was an asshole, short, sweet, and to the point. I just want to forget him…” He felt something touch his hand, and he saw Chrollo was handing him his drink. “This is always a good way to forget.”

Kurapika shook his head, pushing his hand away. “I should probably stop drinking…” his words were slightly slurred at this point, with the strength of 5 glasses of whiskey in his system. He looked at Chrollo, a small dopey smile starting to form on his lips. “Do you want to help me forget him?” His hand had found its way to Chrollo’s arm at one point, tracing random shapes onto his skin. “You're definitely more my type than he is.” He said, his lips curling into a suggestive smirk. 

“Are you sure you want to do that? You don't even know me.” Chrollo tried to deter him, but didn't remove Kurapika’s hand from his arm.

“I know you're attractive. And I know you've been nice to me. A one-night stand works for me -- as long as you don't have any diseases, that is.” He scooted over and leaned against the taller man, his hand moving to take Chrollo’s and place it on his thigh. 

Chrollo tilted his head to murmur in Kurapika's ear. “I don't have any, no. But I don’t share. If you do this, then you don't get to be with anyone else.” During this, his hand slid up and teased him through the thin cloththat was covering his crotch. Kurapika gasped softly, closing his legs around the other man’s hand. He had never let anyone touch him there before, and he felt angry that this man, this murderer, was acting like he owned him. He suppressed the urge to punch the man, lowering his head. “Who says I don’t like that in a guy?” He responded quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. This is the first multi-chap I've actually decided to post, so-


	2. [Capture Arc] Chapter 2: The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika feels a lot of feels he wasn't expecting to feel.

_“I don’t share. If you do this, then you don't get to be with anyone else.”_

_“Who says I don’t like that in a guy?”_

 

Why in the world did he say that? Why would he say that? It was such a horrible thing to say, and he should have backed out and figured out a new plan. But alcohol had its ways of fucking with the brain.

 

As soon as he finished the sentence, Kurapika was then forcibly kissed, the hand between his legs pressing more firmly against his crotch. He groaned into the other’s mouth, his eyes sliding shut and his hands pressing against Chrollo’s arm and the counter. He was pretty sure he heard a bar stool clatter to the ground some feet behind him, and footsteps approaching them. He then felt a hand pull him back, the kiss breaking abruptly. He was then pulled into a sudden embrace away from Chrollo, and by the protective nen barrier that surrounded him, figured out it was Leorio.

 

“Leave her alone asshole.” He heard Leorio say. At least he wasn't breaking his cover. “Why don't you leave her alone? From what she told me, you two are separated. You don't get to be angry with us.” Chrollo said, fixing his shirt as he stood up. Kurapika pushed himself out of Leorio’s grip, turning to face him. “Just go home already! Don't you understand I don't want to see your face anymore you cheating bastard?!” He shoved him away, causing his friend to stumble back a couple steps. He then put on a little acting as he turned around and hid his face against the Troupe leader’s chest, pretending to cry. He could hear Leorio’s flabbergasted noises of complaint behind him. However, the noises stopped as Machi stepped around Chrollo and pointed a needle at his throat. “Do you want me to kill him, Boss?” She said quietly. Kurapika’s heart jumped to his throat at the same moment his stomach dropped. He quickly turned, grabbing Machi’s shirt desperately. “No, please! Please don't kill him-!”

 

“And why should I listen to a little-”

 

“No Machi. Leave him be. It's not worth it.” Kurapika felt Chrollo wrap his arms around him, pressing their bodies together. “Besides, I think I should leave. I’ve had enough to drink for tonight. Let Feitan and Nobunaga know I'm going back to the hideout.” The Troupe leader eased Kurapika out of his arms enough to walk, leaving the Kurta to not want to leave him for some reason. “Is that wise Boss? We don't know anything about this girl. What if she is working for someone?” Machi pointed out, and Kurapika began to wish she wasn't there that night.

 

“Then we kill her.” Kurapika felt a little numb at that point. He wasn't afraid of death, but he probably wouldn't be able to finish his plan. He wouldn't be able to let his brethren rest in peace. “Okay, Boss. I'll let the others know. Nobunaga will want to stay longer, but I think Feitan will want to leave with you.” She dipped her head to him, some of her bright pink hair falling out of her ponytail to fall around her face with the rest of her bangs. “Thank you, Machi. I’ll be in the car.” Chrollo started to lead Kurapika out to his car, but they were stopped by Leorio again. “Leave her here.” Kurapika groaned internally; why couldn't Leorio just stop trying to help? He was doing the exact opposite.

 

“Why should I? She agreed to this.”

 

Kurapika could feel Leorio’s gaze boring into the side of his head, but when he turned to look, all he saw was hurt. He felt his heart strain and was about to turn away when he felt a warm hand take his own. “Babe, please don't do this. You know I love you!” Kurapika stopper, and was surprised when he felt tears threaten to spill, his voice cracking when he spoke. “Then why did you never act like it?! Why did you always go after all those other girls? Why did you never look at me until I was dressing up for other guys?!”

 

Where was all this coming from? He was crying like this was real!

 

“You only care when I'm leaving! You never care when it actually matters. All you do is butt into my business when you think it benefits you. When you're hoping for a quick fuck-! Well, I'm done! I'm done being your accessory. We’re through!” Kurapika felt a sob wrack his body, and he quickly tried to calm himself down, hiding in Chrollo’s chest without really thinking. He felt himself being ushered towards the exit by said man and away from Leorio, shivering when the cold air hit his exposed skin. “Let's get you away from him.” The Kurta felt comforted by the concern, hiccupping from his crying. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” He frantically wiped his tears, trying not to ruin his makeup more than it was already. “You don't need to apologize. You were in the right.” He felt the other man’s hand slide to his hip, pulling him closer and running his fingers over his exposed skin. He for some reason didn't mind -- he guessed he was too distracted by how upset he had gotten at Leorio. He didn't notice that Chrollo called a taxi until it pulled up in front of them. “I thought you said that we were going to the car?”

 

“We were, but I changed my mind. We will be going somewhere else instead.” Being the perfect gentleman he was, Chrollo held open the door for Kurapika, gesturing for him to get inside. “Unless there is a problem with that?” The younger shook his head, glancing back at the club. “What about...Feitan? That was his name, right? I thought he was going with us.”

 

“He can drive back on his own.” He once again gestured for Kurapika to enter the car, so he did, sitting down and buckling in. Chrollo climbed in on the other side, and Kurapika suddenly had a flashback to the last time he was in a car with this man, except he had Chrollo chained up, and Kurapika was wearing a suit himself, albeit a female one, not dressed like a woman looking for a revenge fuck. That plan hadn’t gone nearly as well as he wanted it to, and he still wished to this day that he hadn’t let his friends try to help him, hadn’t put themselves at such high risk. He also wished he had just killed the man then, but he couldn’t after that woman, Pakunoda, showed up…Kurapika stared out the window as the Troupe leader gave some unfamiliar address, and the car started moving. It was silent aside from some indistinguishable pop song the driver had playing in the background that he knew he would have stuck in his head later. It was a surprisingly peaceful silence; that was until he felt an unwelcome hand slide over his shoulder and around his neck, pulling him into a heated kiss. He was too upset to really fight back aside from some pushing at the other’s chest, but his drunk, emotionally addled brain needed comforting, and this man was willing to provide it. He soon gave in and started returning the kiss full force, sliding his hands over Chrollo’s chest and around his neck, pulling him greedily towards him. Kurapika felt hands roaming over skin that had never been touched by anyone but himself, a hand unhooking the clasp on his bra and sliding towards his chest.

 

Suddenly his skin felt like it was crawling, yet on fire at the same time. The entire night, he had felt a steady amount of being uncomfortable with presenting as female, but once he felt Chrollo’s hand over his breast, it was all he could think of. He broke the kiss and crossed his arms over his chest, feeling almost panicked, and he didn’t understand why. He had been dressed like this all day and knew this was going to happen. He needed to calm down before he could even think about continuing this. He didn’t realize that the other was asking him something until he looked at him again.

 

“Are you okay?” Kurapika instinctively nodded his head, but he looked away. “N-not in the car… just...just kissing for now…”

 

“Are you sure?” Kurapika nodded but was confused as to why the man was so concerned about his well being. He was a cold-blooded murderer, who didn’t stop before he tortured his clan mates and killed them, taking their eyes to sell on the black market. He didn’t stop when he told the Troupe to kill everyone at the auction house and steal all the items to be auctioned off. He didn’t stop when he was going to win in against Hisoka in their death match. Why would he agree to stop now? Would he stop if he knew who he was? Would he _continue_ if he knew who he was? There were far too many thoughts going through his head to stop the other man from unbuckling his seat belt and pulling him into his lap, kissing and sucking on his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you didn't realize how small the paragraphs actually were until you previewed the chapter. I don't how I would edit it without completely rewriting the chapter, so oh well I guess. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!


	3. [Capture Arc] Chapter 3: The Hotel Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrollo and Kurapika reach their destination, and the fun times begin (not for Kurapika, but for Chrollo).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: TW** This chapter is when the intimate stuff begins, and it gets real heavy on Kurapika. Kurapika also has a panic attack during this and starts dissociating!! If any of this is upsetting to you, please do not read!

_ Why would he agree to stop now? Would he stop if he knew who he was? There were far too many thoughts going through his head to stop the other man from unbuckling his seat belt and pulling him into his lap, kissing and sucking on his neck. _

 

Kurapika gasped and groaned as the other man sucked on a sensitive spot, his face red. While his eyes were closed at the moment, he was certain that his eyes were red as well. Not that anyone would be able to tell -- he does still wear his colored contacts. He felt unease creeping through his bones, his skin clammy from anxiety. He was still berating himself for freaking out so much, but he supposed one will never know for certain how they would respond to a situation until it happens. His current discomfort, aside from dysphoria, was that he could feel the other man’s erection underneath him. The more he thought about it, the less he felt he would be able to go through with it, but he didn’t have a choice. It was the only way he would be able to get the Troupe leader’s guard down long enough to be able to capture and kill him.

 

He was brought back out of his thoughts when he was kissed again. It was a short-lived one however, as it seemed its purpose was to get his attention. “Are you having second thoughts? Once we get to where we are going, I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop myself.” As he felt a hand run down his back and squeeze his ass, he couldn’t help the little gasp as he thought to himself what Chrollo really meant. He wasn’t  _ going _ to stop, even if Kurapika wanted him to, once they got into whatever room they were on their way to. He shook his head.

 

“No, I want this.” With more courage than he realized he was able to summon in this situation, he moved to straddled the man, rolling his hips down on the other’s erection. A weak whimper was pulled from his throat as the bump pressed against his folds through the thin layers of fabric separating them. He felt his throat close up, finding it increasingly harder to breathe as this went on. He felt like his chest was restricting itself, squeezing his heart as he felt his body betray him and grow wet. His only saving grace was he wasn’t the only one so easily affected. He was surprised when he saw Chrollo’s face contort slightly from pleasure; he thought the man was unfazeable. He rolled his hips again experimentally, watching it happen again, and kind of enjoying the power he had despite his chest still feeling constricted.

 

Kurapika obviously knew what sex was, but he had never done anything sexual before. With his profession and goals in life, he never had the time. Now that he really thought about it, he had never really thought of sexual things outside of situations like this, let alone crave it. He had never experienced any sexual desire, never really thought of anyone that way. Yes, he admitted that people were attractive, like Leorio, or Chrollo. (Though he would never say that out loud, heaven forbid). But he never felt that desire that he saw in his taller friend’s eyes when he looked at attractive women, or even directed at himself today at the bar. Not the look that Chrollo gave him. Never.

 

He would, unfortunately, have to think about it later, seeing as the taxi had stopped. He saw Chrollo hand the driver some cash, then opened the door for Kurapika to climb out first. As soon as he set foot outside the cab, he felt a wave of uneasiness wash over him, and a shudder ran down his body. He wrapped his arms around himself, barely resisting sinking to the ground. In the end, the only thing that kept him from doing so was the dark haired man who got out of the cab behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. As he was lead into the building, he looked up, seeing that it was a hotel. He felt nerves slam into him full force as they checked in for the night, Chrollo once again paying for the two of them. His throat closed up again, and his vision started to waver on the edges as he walked into the elevator, feeling hands running up and down his body. He got pulled back against the taller man’s body, a hand wrapping loosely around his throat and tilting his head back; it was loose, but he could feel the other man’s strength flowing through his body. The man’s other hand slid around his front and under his skirt, his fingers caressing the thin fabric. 

 

Kurapika’s heart pounded as he was pushed forward, having to put his hands on the elevator wall to keep himself from face planting. He had his eyes squeezed shut as that hand pressed harder, his legs twitching as a spot was rubbed hard by a finger. He bit his bottom lip and tried to pull away from the other, needing the air his body was being denied. However, his movement only resulted in the hand around his throat to tighten, pulling him back again. He grunted and leaned his head back onto the other man’s shoulder, gasping for air. At the same time however, a finger slipped under his panties and into his wet body, pulling a moan from him. Kurapika grasped Chrollo’s hands with his own, trying to pull them away; the man wasn’t budging though, starting to thrust the finger in and out of Kurapika slow, to the second knuckle. Kurapika was shaking at the intrusion, desperately trying to get the hand away from him. He felt his chest constricting again, a constant chorus running through his head.

 

_ ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I need to get out of here.’ _

 

He felt chills running down his spine, and his fingers started tingling, as if going numb. He vaguely heard the elevator ding at their floor, and he felt Chrollo move away and start pulling him towards the room. He stumbled behind him, his vision blurry, his thoughts racing, heart pounding. As soon as they got to the room, Kurapika was slammed against the wall and lips were smashed together. The kiss was hot, needy, and full of desire. Kurapika tried pushing him away, but the man was too strong. A leg was forced between his, forcing his skirt up and showing off the lacy red thong he had on. A hand was on his chest again, under his shirt and cupping his left breast, squeezing and kneading. 

 

Kurapika was surprised he wasn’t full-blown panicking at this point. 

 

His mind was racing through a million thoughts at once, but the most prominent thing he felt was his mind going numb, along with the rest of his actions. For what could have been a few seconds, or a few minutes, he felt as though he was seeing his body from an outsider’s perspective, as if it were not his own. He knew he began kissing back, stopped struggling, and submitted to the other man’s actions, but he didn’t feel it. Kurapika felt almost a sense of disappointment when the kiss ended, but he felt almost a forced desire as the man pulled off his crop top and discarded his bra, exposing his breasts to the cool air of the room. His body automatically moaned when the nipple of one was pinched and tugged by Chrollo’s lips, the other mound being played by a hand. When did Chrollo get on his knees?

 

His mind felt drowned in hatred all of a sudden; hatred of his body, his life, his circumstances, this man -- oh boy did he hate this man. He hated what was being done to him against his volition, what was being taken from him by this man. This man had taken everything from him. But the thing he hated most was that his body seemed to be enjoying it. This traitorous body that wasn’t his own, but was. It was squirming in desire, pushing into the pain-laced pleasure being provided to it by the dark-haired man. He hated his body when a hand was at his opening, gladly welcoming it in, moaning his acceptance as what felt like two fingers were pushed into his dripping hole. His body was trembling near violently, though whether it was from pleasure, fear, or hatred, even Kurapika was unsure. 

 

Those cursed fingers were reaching places even he hadn’t dared to explore, the select few times he was curious about this wretched body. He felt his legs nearly give out as the fingers curled into a spot that made him see stars. It seemed as though that was what Chrollo was looking for, being as soon as he reacted to the intense pleasure that shot through him, the more frequently it was toyed with, leaving him with an uncomfortable pleasure building in his lower abdomen. He cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain when his nipple was bitten, feeling the pressure climax over the man’s hand. He was sure he was bleeding from Chrollo’s teeth.

 

It was when on trembling legs that he was lead over to the bed and laid on it that his mind went back into gear, and suddenly he was seeing everything through his own eyes again. His body was red, his female parts felt like they were pulsing, and his heart was racing. After his fishnets were roughly removed, his panties were removed from his legs, and the cold air hit his wetness, making him shiver. Kurapika felt his legs then get propped up and spread apart, and he saw Chrollo kneel between them, undoing his belt with a lusty look in his dark eyes. 

 

Within an unfortunately short amount of time, Chrollo had his shirt off, and was down to his boxers in no time after that, leaving the only remaining articles of clothing still on being Kurapika’s skirt, and the aforementioned boxers. The skirt was removed shortly after, and then the boxers, leaving the two completely naked before the other. Kurapika was trying to close his legs around the other, both arms crossed over his chest in an attempt to hide it. He was far, far too exposed for any semblance of dignity to remain, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t strong enough to stop the other, so he was resolved to make it as difficult for him as possible. 

 

Kurapika felt himself get pushed farther back on the bed, so he took the opportunity to close his legs tight while he glared the man down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want me to possibly include a chapter about what's going on with Leorio during all this as well? The thought popped into my head while I was writing this chapter and started rolling through ideas. Just curious!


	4. [Capture Arc] Chapter 4: The Hotel Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING** This is where the non-con really gets intense. There is also several moments of victim blaming, so if that is a sensitive topic for you, please proceed with caution.

_He wasn’t strong enough to stop the other, so he was resolved to make it as difficult for him as possible. Kurapika felt himself get pushed farther back on the bed, so he took the opportunity to close his legs tight while he glared the man down._  
  
Kurapika was surprised when he saw no anger in the dark-haired man’s eyes, only an increased desire. He felt fingers at this entrance again, and one finger slid all the way in, curling against that spot again; he felt his body tense. He could feel every little sensation, his being hyper-aware of what was happening to him. He felt tremors course through his bones as the fingers started moving again. It was much gentler this time, and it made him feel weird. It felt good, but it felt so wrong. There shouldn’t even be something there that the other should be able to put something in, let alone enjoy it being penetrated. His brain was fighting with itself, and therefore Kurapika didn’t notice getting flipped back onto his back. He did notice his legs being parted in the back of his mind, but it didn’t come to the forefront until he felt the finger being removed, his body shivering from the loss. He tried to scoot away from the man, feeling that panic from earlier taking over him again. His thighs were gripped tightly, and he stared frightfully up at the other as he loomed over him.  
  
“Remember, you asked for this.”  
  
As dread settled over him, he felt the other getting closer to him. He lost focus and his nen sprung to life around him, his right hand swinging out to try and hit him. Chrollo dodged, and he took the opportunity to activate his chain jail. Before he knew what was happening however, his wrist was gripped tightly, almost breaking as it was shoved against his chest. He grunted in pain, wondering how many nasty bruises he was going to obtain from this encounter as he struggled to break free. A fist slammed down into his stomach, and Kurapika coughed up blood. He was having trouble breathing, as his wrist was being pushed down against his ribcage. Kurapika was suddenly pulled up to eye level with Chrollo, the older man looking at him with intrigue.  
  
“I suspected that it was you, Chain-User. I guess I was more correct about you than you lead me to believe all those years ago. If I knew you were so....cute-” his wrist was released, the hand trailing between his legs to rub his clit, a choked whimper leaving him despite his struggling to get away. He was shoving at the other, but his body wasn’t putting as much strength behind it as he would like. “- I would have taken you sooner.”  
  
“Go to hell.” Kurapika spat out venomously, and he finally got a good enough leverage to shove the other away. Chrollo didn’t even seem fazed, simply blocking Kurapika as he tried to escape. The younger of the two was quickly pinned to the bed again, finally realizing the skill gap between the two of them. He felt his face drain of color, and dread slammed into him full force. Everyone told him that he was in way over his head for wanting to hunt down the Phantom Troupe, but he didn’t listen. Now look where it had gotten him. About to be raped by the man he hated most. He probably deserved it at this point.  
  
Kurapika felt his legs get brought back to his chest, and the other man situated himself between Kurapika’s legs, his penis pressed against his hole. He weakly tried to get away again, but he could feel the fight leaving his body as one thought entered and cycled through his brain.  
  
_‘I deserve this.’_  
  
Chrollo thrust into him without warning, not stopping until he was fully sheathed, and a strangled cry of pain ripped out of Kurapika’s throat from the pain. It felt like fire was coursing through his veins, and he was certain that the muscles tore. It only worsened when the man started thrusting, his eyes watering. But he just grit his teeth and tried to bear the brunt of the pain, not even bothering to fight anymore. He closed his eyes and turned his head away, trying to keep from crying.  
  
He was startled when he felt a hand touch his face, flinching from the touch. He glared up at the man. “Where are those beautiful scarlet eyes of yours? I can’t see them.” He felt the man’s thumb come far too close to his left eye for comfort. He flinched again, closing his eye tight. His breath hitched in fear when he felt the thumb press against his eyelid, and as the man spoke again, Kurapika was sure he heard a bit of anger leak into his tone.  
  
“Don’t test me Chain-User. I can take them right now if you prefer.” His eyelid was then pried open, and he saw Chrollo lean over him to examine his eyes. “I see. You’re wearing colored contacts. No wonder I couldn’t see the color. I want to see them though, so would you be so kind as to remove them for me? If not, I can always do it for you.”  
  
Kurapika’s voice was hoarse as he responded. “No! No, I’ll- I’ll do it. Where do you want me to put them?” He shakily took his contacts out, holding them in his hand. He saw the beginnings of a smirk curl Chrollo’s lips, and he shuddered. “Just toss them. You won’t need them anymore; your eyes are just too beautiful to hide.” Kurapika glared at him again, but turned and put the contacts on the bedside table. As soon as they were out of his hand, he felt the other start to move again, moving roughly in and out of him -- he hadn’t even noticed he had stopped. Strangled moans and grunts of pain were the only sound Kurapika could make at that point, shutting his eyes and turning his head again. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and die.  
  
His head was sharply turned back by his wig, eyes opening again, and he saw a brief look of understanding cross Chrollo’s face. Next thing he knew, the wig was ripped off his head, the glue taking a few layers of skin with it. His face was going to be tender for the next few days. He then felt his real hair get pulled, and pained eyes looked to the dark-haired man again. “Keep your eyes open.” He gave Chrollo an incredulous look, but when he felt his hair yanked again, he told himself he would try. Tears were streaming down his face at this point.  
  
Kurapika felt that same spot from earlier, the one that made his legs weak from pleasure, being abused to the point that it was far more painful than pleasurable, and he was almost glad -- he didn’t want to enjoy this torture.  
  
He wasn’t sure how much longer this was going to last; at this point, his body was overloaded with sensation. His heart was racing, his head was pounding from the alcohol, his mind was in overdrive, and his body felt numb from the constant pain. He only closed his eyes when he needed to blink, not wanting to endure any more pain than what he had been dealt. He was happy when he could feel Chrollo’s pace start to falter, but that was completely wiped and replaced with disgust and anger as he felt the other cum inside of him, feeling liquid heat filling him deep inside of his body. He almost felt like he was going to puke.  
  
He felt dizzy, his brain swimming with self-deprecating thoughts as the other pulled out, sitting back. He pulled Kurapika towards him by his hair, kissing him roughly. When it ended, Kurapika was panting, just wanting everything to end. He felt himself get pushed towards Chrollo’s penis, which was covered in semen and had some hints of blood on it. The smell was awful, and he tried to pull away, but was pushed against it, Chrollo rutting against his face. “Clean it off.”  
  
“Fuck off asshole.” he said, his voice almost not audible. He felt fingers wrap around his throat and squeeze, and after several seconds Kurapika felt his lungs begging. His lips parted and he started gasping for air. His throat was released, but Chrollo’s penis was shoved in his mouth. He almost gagged, trying to pull away, but he was shoved forcefully down, coughing as he was made to deep throat the man. Kurapika felt disgust coil in his gut as the older man started moving his head in an up and down motion, fingers curled in his blond hair for an easy grip. He refused to give him what he wanted though, even if it meant that Chrollo was going to use his mouth as another hole to abuse.  
  
He felt an impact on his face, and after a few seconds it started to sting -- the Troupe leader had slapped him. “I said clean it off. Use that mouth of yours blondie. Or you know what happens.” He felt a thumb press against his lower eyelid, and panic shot through him. So much for his dignity. He regretfully closed his lips around Chrollo’s penis, the need to puke welling in his throat again. He didn’t know what to really do, so he attempted to follow what the man had been making him do earlier. Kurapika started bobbing his head slowly, feeling the half-hard penis fill up his mouth. He tried his hardest to not let his tongue touch the warm flesh inside his mouth, but it was difficult.  
  
Kurapika was slapped again, and he grunted in pain. “Use your tongue.” When he didn’t do it at first, he felt his hair roughly pulled again, feeling a small section rip out of his scalp. Before he could give himself time to think, he pressed his tongue against the shaft, licking as he continued bobbing his head. It tasted awful, and he hated every moment of it. Once the other was fully hard, he felt his head get pushed down until his nose was pressed into the fine dark curls at the base of Chrollo’s penis. He choked, trying to push back, but he was held there until he felt like he was about to pass out. Kurapika pulled back for air, panting heavily. After two breaths he was pushed back onto the shaft, all the way down. He got the message and started bobbing his head as far down as he could comfortably go. He unintentionally started sucking on the shaft on the way up, hearing an appreciative groan escape the Spider’s lips.  
  
It continued like this for a while, Chrollo slowly starting to thrust into Kurapika’s mouth while his free hand trailed down to pinch and tease Kurapika’s nipples. He could taste a liquid secreting from the slit on the man’s penis, and it tasted salty. But he had already been tasting it on the shaft, so it wasn’t too bad of a shock on his tongue. He whimpered a few times around the flesh in his mouth, feeling himself getting wet again. He tried to ignore it, but he could feel the area between his legs pulsing with heat and need. His face was flushed again, and he moaned when he felt his nipple pinched hard and twisted. He felt self-loathing bubble in his chest when he released a high pitch moan. He hadn’t known that his breasts were so sensitive, and he hated that this man discovered it, and was clearly exploiting it.  
  
Kurapika felt his head get pushed down again, and the same liquid from before spilling into his mouth. He coughed and attempted to pull back to spit it out, but he was forced to stay still, and his only option to get it out of his mouth was to swallow it. It felt slimy going down his throat, and he shuddered in disgust. He was finally allowed to pull away from other man, scooting away from him quickly as he panted.  
  
Chrollo got off the bed and walked towards the hotel bathroom, explaining that he was going to shower. Kurapika took the chance to try and escape, but the second he tried to stand, pain shot up his spine and he was hit with an intense bout of vertigo. The room swayed, and Kurapika tried to support himself against the wall. It was useless though. His vision blurred and he blacked out, collapsing to the floor in a heap.


	5. [Capture Arc] Chapter 5: The Clean Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika is dealing with the trauma of being raped.  
> **WARNING** There is lots of victim blaming and there is a derogatory reference to transgender people in this chapter, along with self-deprecating thoughts on Kurapika's part.

_‘I deserve this.’_  
_The room swayed, and Kurapika tried to support himself against the wall. It was useless though. His vision blurred and he blacked out, collapsing to the floor in a heap._  
  
When Kurapika came to, he was wearing a bathrobe and was laying on a bed. He was confused for a second, but when he remembered what happened, dread and disgust settled over him, and he had to get to the bathroom quickly to hurl. He rested his head against the toilet, his mind replaying the day’s events on repeat. He felt his dread slowly turn to numbness, and he managed to drag himself to the sink to look at himself. His make-up was smeared, there was blood on his lips, and he had bruises covering his neck and lower face. His cheek was also swollen from where he was slapped. All in all, he looked as terrible as he felt.  
  
He heard a rustling sound from the room behind him, and he whirled around to stare frightfully at the door. His heart was pounding, and his chains quickly appeared on his hand. But the movement did not come to the bathroom door, it sounded as if it was leaving the hotel room. His thoughts were confirmed when he heard the door open and close, the automatic lock beeping when it clicked. He slowly left the bathroom, peaking outside of the small room. There was a note taped up on the door, but otherwise the room was unchanged. Not that he saw much in his rush to the bathroom.  
  
He left the room and went to the door, his legs shaking and barely keeping him up. _‘I will be back in a few hours. Feel free to shower, but don’t try to leave. I can easily find you again, and I will punish you. I know who your friends are, and where they are.’_  
  
Kurapika felt his anger flare up, his eyes burning scarlet from the implied threat. He crumpled up the note, storming over to the bed. He quickly grabbed his clothes, seeing his purse on the floor next to the bed. He picked it up as well, looking for his phone. He found it, but it wouldn’t turn on. He examined it, taking the battery cover off. That asshole had stolen his phone battery. He cursed and tossed the phone on the bed, sitting down heavily. He felt his throat close up, tears at his eyes, but he shut them tight, vowing to not cry. It took him a few minutes of deep breathing to calm down, clenching and unclenching his fists slowly.  
  
When he felt his heartbeat finally calm to a reasonable rate, he made his way to the bathroom. He refused to report this incident, so he had no reason to follow the proper procedure. He could almost see Miziastom’s face in his mind if he did report this to the double-star crim hunter. He turned the shower on, turning to its hottest setting, pleased when he saw it steaming. He dropped the bathrobe to the ground and stepped into the shower.  
  
Kurapika stepped under the showerhead completely, hissing slightly when the powerful streams of water hit his bruises. He didn’t care though -- he needed the pain to remind him of his stupidity. He let the water heat him to his core, refusing to look down at his body. He knew he had to get clean eventually, so he started with his face first, getting the blood and makeup off his skin. He then moved onto his hair, washing it thoroughly. He tried to prolong washing his body, but he felt disgusting, and the hot water was only doing so much. He grabbed the soap, stepped out from under the stream, and lathered himself up. Once he had the outside of his body washed off, he carefully moved on to between his legs. He would have to find some way to procure a douche, but for now, all he could manage was hand cleaning. He tried to get some water inside him in an attempt to get the semen out of him, but it stung too much -- a piercing pain that reminded him too much of earlier. He quickly stopped; there was probably some internal bleeding. His hatred of the man who did this increased exponentially.  
  
Once he was clean, he didn’t want to get out yet, didn’t want to face the room that held such horrid memories. He switched the faucet to fill up the bathtub, plugged the drain, then sat down. He bit his bottom lip as the hot water hit his privates, but he made no effort to move. He turned the water off once the tub was mostly full, far beyond what it was supposed to hold. He curled up in the tub, the tops of his knees, shoulders, and head the only thing not submerged in the near boiling water. He sat there for God knows how long, allowing his brain to wander wherever it pleased. Most of the time it circled back to his friends, namely Leorio. What would they think of him? What would they say? Hell, Leorio probably thinks the worst. Chrollo did tell him that he wanted this after all. Leorio probably hates him now. The thought made Kurapika dig his nails into his palms hard enough to draw blood.  
  
Should he even tell them he was raped? He didn’t want their pity, didn’t want to see the sadness in their eyes, didn't want to deal with the awkwardness as they tried to figure out how to act around him, the eventual distance they would want to have from him, worried that they might do something to hurt him. He shook his head, feeling a sob wrack his body. No. He couldn’t tell them. He wouldn’t go through that. It would be too much to bear. He didn’t know if he would ever get to see them again anyway, so it was better this way. As much as he wanted to leave, he refused to put his friends in further danger than he already had.  
  
He let his tears continue to fall long after the water had gone cold.

 

* * *

  
  
A few hours had passed by the time he got out of the bathtub, skin wrinkled from the water. He had removed the sheets from the bed, not wanting another constant reminder of what happened. He had stolen a pillow from the cupboard that housed the bedding for the fold out couch, and curled up with it on the couch. He had put his shirt and shorts back on and had used his holy chain to heal his injuries. For some reason it didn’t work on his internal injuries, so he still hurt down there, but he was able to ignore it. He was currently fiddling with his phone mindlessly, still pissed off that Chrollo had stolen his phone battery. There was no computer in here either, so he couldn’t contact his friends through other means. Kurapika was worried that Chrollo was going to go after his friends regardless of whether he tried to leave or not, hence his paranoid fidgeting.  
  
It didn’t help that his brain was supplying oh so helpful imagery of them severely injured and dying, with him being forced to watch and unable to help. It was also repeating the phrase the Troupe leader had told him. _‘Remember, you asked for this.’_ He did. There was no if, ands, or buts about it. He basically begged the man to have sex with him so that ‘she’ could forget ‘her ex’. The pronouns were causing another issue in and of itself. Why did he have to born in this cursed body? Why did he have to feel like a man in a woman’s body? Why couldn’t he just be a she? Why did he have to have these feelings?  
  
Why did he have to come up with this stupid plan?!  
  
He should have known it wouldn’t work. Most of his plans backfired on him in some way when it came to the Troupe. Why did he choose to exploit his female body, the body that he had hated since he was a small kid still ignorant about the world outside of his tiny village? Why did that asshole and his band of thieves have to find them? Why...why did they enjoy committing such horrible atrocities? Why, out of all of them, was he the one fate chose to let live? Why couldn’t it have been Pairo? Or his grandfather? His parents? Anyone there deserved to live far more than he did. Why was the freak of nature tranny the one who lived? He couldn’t even re-populate his clan. He refused to carry a child. It would destroy him. His already fragile perception of his masculinity would be torn apart and trampled into the ground. He couldn’t, wouldn't put himself through that torture.  
  
These thoughts kept themselves on repeat, so when the door was opened, Kurapika had to quickly wipe the fresh tears off his face, sitting up and approaching the man quickly. “Give me my phone battery.” He heard a soft laugh from the man. “Why would I do that? So you can call your friends? Warn them? You need to earn that privilege chain-user. I'm in charge here, and there is no way for you to best me. You can't kill me -- you proved that years ago.”  
  
Chrollo grabbed Kurapika's chin, pulling him close. Kurapika pushed him away, glaring at the taller man. “Don't touch me.” The blond was then backhanded hard enough to make him stumble back a few steps, his vision swimming. He vaguely heard the other talking, but it was muffled, his ears ringing. Once he could hear properly again, he heard his chains rattling, and he shot his hand out in a blind rage, chain jail shooting after the Spider. It was easily dodged again, resulting in Kurapika getting punched in the stomach again. Not expecting the attack, he wasn't able to get his nen up, let alone ken, to protect himself. He took the full brunt of the nen packed punch to his gut, and got the air knocked out of him. He sucked in a shaky breath, coughing. His legs were swept out from under him, and he hit the floor hard. Chrollo was on his chest soon after, knee pressed down into his sternum.  
  
“Don't forget your place chain-user. I am leagues above you in skill. And you will never catch me off guard long enough to capture me again.” The knee pressed down harder, and Kurapika heard a sickening crack accompany the pain that was resonating from his chest. He tried to hide the pain, but he could tell his eyes had turned scarlet by the look in Chrollo's eyes. “I do wonder how bright I can make your eyes glow. I can only imagine how beautiful it would be.”  
  
Kurapika tried to push the man off him, but the pain was too great to be able to put much force behind it. With the constant increase in pressure being applied, Kurapika could feel blood bubbling up in his throat. He needed to get out of here, fast. He released his dowsing chain and swung it, trying to get the man to move off of him. But he just blocked the chain like it was a piece of string. The pressure was lightened just long enough for Kurapika to wiggle out from under Chrollo, turn on his side, and cough up a mouthful of blood. He drew in ragged breaths, coughing up more and more blood. He barely managed to activate his holy chain before he passed out, healing his fractured rib cage and a punctured lung. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chrollo stand up and walk towards the door again. There was a bag sitting on the floor near the door, which was tossed to Kurapika. He looked at it questioningly.  
  
“It’s for you. You should put them on.” Chrollo went outside to stand on the balcony attached to the room, leaving the door to it open. Kurapika curiously opened the bag pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans that had some premade tears in them, and a plain blue t-shirt. He was more confused than ever. Why the hell did this asshole get him clothes? How did he even know his size in clothing? There was even a black bra in the bag with matching panties, both very lacy. He could feel his face heat up when he saw the panties were crotchless, and he felt like he was going to be sick again. “I refuse to wear these you fucking pervert.” He tossed the bag away from him.  
  
“You will if you know what’s good for you.”  
  
Kurapika scoffed at the threat, crossing his arms over his chest. “And what are you going to do to me? Force yourself on me again?” He saw Chrollo turned to look at him, and Kurapika immediately regretted his words. He knew the other could very well do that, and he just basically invited it. He met the man’s gaze challengingly though, absolutely refusing to show any fear. He saw the man start to laugh, then walk back into the room. “You knew what you were getting yourself into. Before long, I won’t have to force anything. You will be crawling on your hands and knees, offering yourself to me willingly. It’s the only way you are getting out of this alive.” Chrollo handed him the bag of clothing again, a smirk on his lips. “Now, go get changed. Your current clothing smells of alcohol, and it is not very befitting of such a pretty lady.”  
  
Kurapika felt like he got punched again, but this time it was worse. He stood up, glaring at the man angrily. “I am not a lady. I am a man.” Chrollo laughed and walked to the bed. “I'm sure you are chain-user. Try telling me that again when you look like one.”  
  
Kurapika ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him as his chest tightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a much easier time writing this chapter than I anticipated. I love Kurapika and I kind of feel bad putting him through this stuff. But I am enjoying writing this.
> 
> Also, I have the next few chapters written, and I will be posting 1 chapter every Friday, so please bookmark this so you get notifications as to when the chapter is up! Love you guys.


	6. [Capture Arc] Chapter 6: Why This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika slowly having a mental breakdown.  
> !!WARNING!! More sexual content in this chapter!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, I was in Arizona since Thursday and didn't bring my laptop.

_ “Now, go get changed. Your current clothing smells of alcohol, and it is not very befitting of such a pretty lady.”  _

_ “I am not a lady. I am a man.” Kurapika ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him as his chest tightened. _

It was the next day, sometime before noon if Kurapika was judging the shadows correctly. He still hadn’t left the hotel room, too fearful of Chrollo going after his friends, but he had taken to sitting on the balcony for most of the night, thinking about what he should do now. He had to figure out some way to get his phone operational, even if for only a couple minutes, so he could get Senritsu’s phone number, at least so she could let Leorio know he was okay. He knew his friends would worry about him -- they had every right to, especially with how he left Leorio at the bar -- and he didn’t want them to. They would just put themselves in needless danger if they knew. He couldn’t allow them to do it again.

Chrollo had been coming and going all night, leaving Kurapika mostly to his own devices. Much to Chrollo’s unfortunate pleasure, Kurapika did change into at least some of the clothes. When he had holed himself up in the bathroom, he could really smell the alcohol on his clothes. He had changed into the jeans and t-shirt, but absolutely refused to wear the new lingerie. He didn’t care what the other man said, there was no way he would lower himself to that level. 

For the most part, Kurapika’s brain was luckily quiet. For a while, his mind had gone to much darker places than earlier, resulting in him having to clean blood out of the bathtub and use his holy chain once again. Right now though, he was trying to figure out what Chrollo was doing. The second time he had come and gone, he had brought some food, which was now sitting in the fridge in the kitchenette. The third time he brought back another bag from some shop that Kurapika realized was a sex shop, and he shuddered to think about what was in there. The Troupe leader was gone again, and it was so far his longest excursion yet. It made Kurapika question Chrollo’s intentions over and over again to the point of no sleep. 

He hated this feeling of uncertainty. Before, he always managed to think of every possibility and outcome to a situation. He planned for the worst. He assumed the worst would prevail over any other possibility so that when it didn’t, he would be able to handle it easily. But at 22 when he managed to collect most of the stolen eyes of his clan, with only a few pairs that had been lost to time, he came to the realization that he still wanted the people responsible for his to be chained to hell. The 10 year anniversary came, he gave the eyes a proper burial, and he left, vowing to not return until he killed every last Troupe member that had taken part. It’s been over a year now.

Ever since then though, he had become sloppy. He wasn’t thinking everything through, he wasn’t taking into account that there were things he wasn’t aware of. He was easily distracted as well, which was dangerous not only for himself, but for the people around him. He wasn’t sure if it was due to most of his current time was spent hunting down the Spiders, who have always made him lose his cool, or if it was due to his rapidly decreasing lifespan. He was getting exhausted easier by the day. Either way, it’s what had gotten him into this mess. He hadn’t taken into account Chrollo’s agility increasing, hadn’t taken into account that he would still be on high alert for attacks despite being in an intimate situation. He had hoped that the Troupe leader would be too distracted, but he was wrong. He hadn’t expected to attempt to back out last second, he didn’t realize he wouldn’t be able to go through with his plan to the fullest. He certainly wasn’t expecting Senritsu to interfere, and get Leorio involved in this. He still wasn’t sure what had gone on back there, when he exploded at Leorio. 

This was everything Kurapika was pondering when the door to the hotel room opened again. Chrollo stepped inside, taking his shoes off by the door. Kurapika made no move to recognize the man’s presence, but he did conjure his chains, his hand tightening into a fist. He heard the other approaching him, and he stood up slowly. When the man was behind him, he went on the offensive, turning swiftly to attack. Chrollo dodged easily, side-stepping Kurapika’s chain quickly. Kurapika started attacking in earnest, but was quickly angered when he couldn’t even land a blow on the other man. He got in close, using his chain jail again, but he still missed, taking a strong blow to his arm. With that, he had to switch to defense, dancing around some hits, but not able to dodge all of them. Chrollo was weaker than Uvogin, but he was much faster. Kurapika took a blow to the back of his neck and his vision wavered, but he recovered quickly, managing to get a hit to Chrollo’s side. He couldn’t tell if the other was injured at all by it because he was smiling as if this fight was fun. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

Chrollo’s next hit nearly shattered Kurapika’s knee, causing the blond to stumble. He was able to put a little pressure on his leg, but the pain was searing, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. He managed to dodge a few more times before Chrollo was too close. He was grabbed and thrown to the floor, his knee screaming at him. He was able to ignore it though, until Chrollo kicked it again, actually shattering it this time. Kurapika grunted in pain, attempting to use his holy chain to heal before Chrollo was on him. Almost literally. Chrollo grabbed the front of Kurapika’s shirt and pulled him up, crashing their lips together in a heated kiss. The blond was shocked, trying to get away, but the older man was too strong. 

The kiss lasted for several seconds, Chrollo keeping Kurapika from getting away. His free hand was roaming the blond’s body, pushing his shirt up and over his breasts, squeezing them. Kurapika’s heart pounded, trying desperately to get away. Not again. But Chrollo was pinning his injured leg with his own, making any movement on Kurapika’s part incredibly painful. His bra was unclasped and he was pushed to the floor with both of his arms pinned above his head by his wrists. He squirmed and struggled, but he couldn’t break free. He felt his bra get pushed up to join his shirt, exposing his breasts to the cool air of the hotel room. He shut his eyes tight when Chrollo’s hand returned to his breast, squeezing and kneading it with his fingers. Kurapika had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from making any noise.

Kurapika suddenly felt a warm wetness engulf his unattended nipple, and the sensation of what felt like a tongue pulled a moan from his throat. His eyes cracked open as the pleasure continued, and saw Chrollo’s mouth on his breast. He absolutely despised that the sight turned him on, despite his constant discomfort at his breasts even existing. Whimpers and quiet moans started coming more frequently as he was played with, his thighs rubbing together to attempt to deal with his arousal. At one point he was sure that Chrollo bit him again, but it drew a much more audible moan from him. He hated that he was enjoying this; his back was even arched in the need for more. Kurapika felt Chrollo's hand leave his breast, which was quickly replaced by his mouth and another moan, and travel down his sides to his jeans, undoing the button and pulling them down his hips. His legs were spread just enough for air to get between them, and his shivered when the cold air came in contact with his damp panties. 

A finger started teasing him through his panties, and he jumped, feeling panic wash over him again. He instantly regretted not wearing the panties that Chrollo bought for him; the only other underwear he had was the thong he had worn for his disguise. The new panties would have covered him more despite the fact that they were crotchless. The panties were moved to the side, and the finger returned, teasing his wetness directly. Kurapika felt terror overcome him as the finger easily slipped inside, curling and thrusting gently. It was slow, and it felt good, and he loved and hated every moment. It seemed like Chrollo was specifically trying to please him, but that made no sense. He was going rape Kurapika. From what it sounded like the night before, he was going to do it over and over again. So why? Why was he doing this?! It made no sense!

Kurapika started trying to get away again, shutting out his thoughts. Everything was too confusing, and he hated it. His wrists were brought down from above his head and pinned to his chest. Confusion swirled in Kurapika's mind as Chrollo started kissing down his stomach towards his crotch. He started squirming again when he felt Chrollo’s thumb press against his clit and start rubbing gentle circles against it. His legs quivered, and his breathing jolted from the pleasure. He felt heat coiling in his lower abdomen, and it was so foreign that he almost didn't notice a second finger slide inside of him to join the first, the pace of the thrusts speeding up, but staying almost careful. He whimpered loudly when that spot inside of him was basically caressed, and his thighs closed around Chrollo's hand. The movements continued despite this, his breathing coming in stuttered gasps, and he felt pressure building up. He desperately tried to get away, but he couldn't; he didn't have the leverage. 

The pace of everything sped up; the fingers thrusting in and out of him, the thumb rubbing against his clit, his heart rate, his breathing, his struggling. It became too much, and he felt the pressure release, a wave of euphoria washing over him. Kurapika moaned, long and loud, his hips suddenly rolling as if riding the waves. The feeling was intense, his mind blank -- he couldn't breathe. He felt like he was riding the pleasure for hours but it couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes. By the time he came down from his high, he hadn't noticed his body was being moved. His wrists had been released, his legs were up and against his chest, and Chrollo was holding the backs of his thighs to keep them there. His knee was throbbing in pain, but he was too distracted to focus on healing it. His thong had also been pulled off from around his hips and moved to join his jeans just above his knees. He felt Chrollo kiss the backs of his thighs, and it was so intimate that he blushed and hid his face with his arm. 

He tried to push himself away with his free hand, but Chrollo was holding him firmly in place. He tried to glare at the man, but he could only stare at him in confusion as he saw him lowering his face down to his crotch. “Wh-what are you- hnn!” He let out a high pitched whimper when he felt Chrollo’s tongue slide along his lips. It felt so good, but it felt so wrong. He wasn't supposed to be enjoying this, he was supposed to hate this man! He felt dirty, disgusting like he was betraying not only himself, but his friends, his family, and his clanmates by enjoying this man vandalizing his body! He felt tears running down his cheeks while his body rolled to get more out of Chrollo’s mouth and tongue, moaning loudly when his clit was sucked on. His bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood, clawing at his arms -- anything to keep from enjoying this. But nothing worked. His hatred for the Troupe leader swelled once more, as he continued to play his body like it was an instrument. He hid his face in his arm again, trembling as he felt that same pressure from before building up once more. “Pl-please, stop! I can-I can't take any more of this!” 

He was surprised to hear his voice coming out sounding so pitiful, and he hated it. He was sure the other could tell he was crying, his chest heaving with sobs. His toes curled from the pleasure, and he felt him fast approaching that same feeling from before. However, just as he was about to reach it, everything stopped. Chrollo let go of him, completely pulling away. Kurapika was so close and was denied that release. He wasn't sure how he felt. Was he happy that it stopped? Or upset that he didn't finish?

He heard Chrollo walking towards the bathroom, leaving Kurapika there on the floor with his pants around his knees, horny and needing a release, sobbing into his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to have the last of the sex scenes for a while. Sorry about all the smut stuff-- 
> 
> If you like this story, please R&R! Love you guys! <3


	7. [Capture Arc] Chapter 7: Does It Still Count?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another smut scene. Last one for a while I promise!

_ He heard Chrollo walking towards the bathroom, leaving Kurapika there on the floor with his pants around his knees, horny and needing release, sobbing into his arm. _

 

It had been a couple days since that incident, with Kurapika getting more and more on edge. At the drop of a hat, Chrollo would be on him, pleasuring him to the point of release, but would never finish. It was absolute torture, and it was driving him mad. He was slowly becoming desensitized to when Chrollo would force himself on him, just laying on the bed feeling numb for a couple hours afterward, his body aching from the encounter. He didn't bother fighting it anymore. Even his bad thoughts had diminished to quiet murmurs in the back of his mind when he was alone. He did finally go to sleep, his exhaustion finally getting the best of him. 

 

He had passed out after a particularly rough go with Chrollo, crying into his pillow from the pain. He was certain that this was the most frequent his eyes had been scarlet since the expedition, and his headaches and fevers were coming back full force. He was always alone when he was waiting for his fevers to break, and it made him miss the time in York Shin when Leorio was there taking care of him. He was having dreams about his friends, the time they were all together during the exam, and when they were in York Shin. It may have been stressful, but they were still fun, and he woke up in the middle of the night crying, missing those times. 

 

Kurapika was taking a shower when Chrollo came back from wherever the hell he went, and the man had the nerve to try and get in the shower with him. “Get out of here and let me shower in peace.” Chrollo ignored him though, and Kurapika was not surprised when he felt hands start to roam his body. The rough texture of his hands coupled with the water streaming down his skin made Kurapika shiver, tilting his head down so his wet hair hid his face. He felt the hands make their way to their usual destination, sliding over his breasts and massaging them tantalizingly. He was pulled back against Chrollo’s chest, and he felt his erection press against his ass. So it was going to be the full thing today. The blond made a point of not responding, going to wash his hair even though his back was arching into the hands that were pinching his nipples. By the time he was rinsing the shampoo and conditioner out of his hair, Chrollo had knelt behind him and he was being roughly fingered, his legs trembling. He put his hands against the cold tile of the shower wall bracing himself when he was bent over.

 

Even though he wasn’t outwardly responding, inside his mind was racing again.  _ ‘Not in here. This is one of my safe places. Please, not in here.’  _ But he didn't dare say it out loud, lest he look like he was weak in front of the other man. He couldn't hold back his moans anymore when Chrollo spread his legs and started eating him out from behind, a finger still playing with his clit. What was going on? Chrollo never did all of this when he was going to have sex with Kurapika. He felt his fingers rubbing against him, then dragging back through the crevice of his ass. It felt so weird, and Kurapika tried to step away from him. An arm wrapped around him and prevented it though, and he didn't want to struggle and fall in the shower. One finger started playing with his anus, probing it gently. He wasn't sure how he felt about it yet, but somehow the tension lessened in his mind. He did feel as nauseous with this being done to him.

 

The fingers dipped back into his vagina, coating the fingers with his wetness, before coming back to his anus, one finger pushing its way inside of him. Kurapika made a high pitched noise, his arms trembling. It stung, but it was a good sting. He adjusted to the intrusion quickly, and he could tell Chrollo realized it because he started thrusting the finger inside of him, his middle finger joining it soon after. He grunted from the new finger; this one actually hurt. He stayed as still as possible, the fingers still moving. The water was doing nothing to act as a lubricant -- in fact, it was doing the exact opposite. Kurapika winced every time the fingers pushed deeper, his legs trembling near violently from the treatment. 

 

After a while, the fingers were moving easier, and quicker. It felt so good, and with that discomfort that was always there during their non-consensual sexual activities, Kurapika felt better. A thought entered his mind.  _ ‘How it is rape if you're enjoying it? If you're not fighting it? If you're  _ **_welcoming_ ** _ it?’  _ He quickly pushed the thoughts to the deepest part of his brain, not wanting to ever open that can of worms. Everything Chrollo had done to him was against his will. It didn't matter if he enjoyed it. It was still rape. He got distracted by the feeling of Chrollo trying to get a third finger inside of him, and he started actively protesting. “S-stop-! It's not goi-going to fit, it's too much-!” He was ignored, and the third finger pushed its way inside. It hurt so bad, but beneath all the stinging and possible bleeding, the thrusting was already starting to feel good. 

 

Maybe his body was trying to accept it because this was how gay men had sex, which is what Kurapika was, despite his body parts. His dysphoria was never too bad when he was showering, though he couldn't explain why if someone asked. Maybe that coupled with the anal penetration was why he didn't feel as horrible about this as he did when his breasts were played with, or he was penetrated vaginally. That was the only way Kurapika could rationalize it. 

 

After a minute of the fingers thrusting in and out of him, he practically mewled from the pleasure, his legs spread as far as possible in the shower. The fingers were removed and the shower shut off, Kurapika feeling very cold from the sudden lack of hot water. He heard Chrollo exit the shower, and he wanted to collapse to his knees. “Come on.” He heard Chrollo say, and Kurapika carefully stepped out of the shower. He took the offered towel and dried himself off, lingering slightly when he heard the bathroom door open. An arm wrapped around his waist and he was led to the bed. When Kurapika made no move to get on it, the Troupe leader actually picked him up and put him on the bed, maneuvering him to be on his knees with his face pressed into the mattress, hands pinned behind his back, and his ads in the air. He felt so exposed and degraded. He tried to change the position, but he was spanked. He was fucking  _ spanked _ by the man behind him, hard enough that it was stinging and turning red already. He attempted to protest, but he was just spanked again, his body jolting from it. 

 

He felt Chrollo get on the bed behind him, but he had some sort of bottle in his hand, evident by the sound of the lid opening. A cool liquid was poured onto his privates, and he shivered, wanting it off of him. He heard some slick sounds, and the bed shifted as Chrollo pressed his erection to Kurapika's stretched hole. He knew what was coming before it happened, but that didn’t mean he was prepared for it. As soon as the head was inside him, searing pain shot up his spine, and he buried his face in the sheets, barely holding back his noises of pain. He noticed that Chrollo stopped moving, and he was grateful for it. His body adjusted quickly, and he leaned back, pushing the other deeper. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but he didn’t regret it, as Chrollo pushed all the way in. Once the pain subsided, Kurapika moaned quietly, relaxing as well as he could. He could tell that if he was tense, this was going to only hurt infinitely times more. Chrollo started to gently thrust, pulling out and pushing back in slowly. Kurapika’s breathing was labored, but the movements were nothing he couldn’t handle.

 

First, the thrusts got deeper, then slowly sped up. Everything felt good; he was certain that he was more turned on than he had been before, and if he really thought about that, he was sure he would feel incredibly disturbed and would be on the verge of a panic attack. It wasn’t long before Chrollo had set a rough pace, Kurapika gasping and moaning with little reservation. He could feel himself getting close to his orgasm, and he hoped the other wouldn’t deny him it again. At the rate they were going though, he doubted that Chrollo would have the self-control to stop before Kurapika came. After another minute or so, he moaned loudly, signifying his release. It was different this time in the vocalization of one word, a name. 

 

Kurapika cried out his arch nemesis’ name when he orgasmed, a fact that would haunt him to his dying days. He felt shame instantly wash over him, overriding his orgasm and halting his voluntary movements. In the back of his subconscious, he realized Chrollo had finished inside him and had pulled out, going to the bathroom as per usual after intercourse. Kurapika carefully curled up on his side, pulling the blanket with the evidence of their actions over him, hoping for some sense of modesty. His mind was replaying his voice screaming Chrollo’s name in pleasure, shuddering in horror. He couldn’t deny it anymore. He didn’t consider today’s interaction as non-consensual. He willingly let Chrollo have his way with his body, he had wanted it. He wanted the other to give him release. He  _ actively participated _ in the sexual activity. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had been rolling his hips, meeting Chrollo’s thrusts halfway, spreading his legs so that the other would be able to press deeper inside of him. He was horrified by his actions, and had he eaten anything that day, it would have ended up on the floor. When did it come to this? When did Kurapika stop thinking of it as rape?

 

He felt chills crawl up his spine and his fingers start tingling. His chest hurt, and it was difficult to breathe. He closed his eyes tight, which for sure were red, and focused on getting air into his body. It took far longer than he would have liked for it to end.


	8. [Capture Arc] Chapter 8: Getting Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrollo and Kurapika leave the hotel.

**Chapter 8**

 

_ He willingly let Chrollo have his way with his body, he had wanted it. He actively participated in the sexual activity. When did it come to this? When did Kurapika stop thinking of it as rape? _

 

The next day had come and gone with only one minor event: Chrollo gave him his phone battery back. He had been sitting out on the balcony, watching the cars in the distance when Chrollo walked up to him and handed it to him. Kurapika had been surprised to say the least, watching the man suspiciously as he put the battery back into the device. His phone powered up after a moment, and once connection was re-established his phone flooded with texts from Leorio and Senritsu, as well as Gon and Killua surprisingly enough. He figured Leorio told them what happened at the club. 

 

He opened the messages from Senritsu first, scanning them quickly. She said she had taken Leorio back to the place he was staying, and that she was worried about both of them. Kurapika was acutely aware of Chrollo reading over his shoulder as he texted her back that he was okay, and sorry that he hadn’t responded sooner. The other man was the only reason he didn’t say anything else. He sent the text, returning to his inbox to check his other messages. The texts from his young friends were composed of much of the same thing, with a promise from Gon that they would find him. He stared at the received messages from Leorio, and was debating reading them when his phone was plucked from his hands. Kurapika whipped around to demand his phone back, but his was cut off. 

 

“You have limited phone privileges. I don’t want you telling your friends where you are. We’re leaving in an hour. Make sure you have everything- I’m not returning here once we leave.” Chrollo didn’t give him time to respond, turning and leaving him alone again. Kurapika’s mind was working in overdrive, wondering where the hell the man was intending to take him. He also couldn’t believe the asshole had the nerve to give him his battery back only to take his phone. As Kurapika made sure he had everything, he started thinking of a plan for escape. This may be one of his only chances.

 

By the time Chrollo returned, he had his plan mostly thought out. He was working out the last details when he was pulled to his feet and dragged out of the hotel room, gripping his purse tightly so as not to lose it. By the time they got to the elevator, Kurapika was walking calmly next to his captor, head down. 

 

He felt calm for the first time in a week.

 

When they started through the lobby, Kurapika started dragging his feet, struggling a bit. “I’m not going with you, let go of me!” He felt Chrollo tighten his grip on his arm and kept pulling him towards the exit. He wasn’t able to get good traction against the floors with his heels on, but he was managing. Two out of the three other people in the lobby didn’t react at all, but one man stood up and approached, looking concerned for him and angry at Chrollo. Kurapika kept struggling, only stopping once the man was there. Keeping his head down to hide his now scarlet eyes, he noticed quickly that the tall man had a very concentrated aura, and he was glad that out of all the people who wanted to play hero, it was a nen user.

 

Kurapika watched the scene play out; he couldn’t tell what the man was saying to Chrollo due to the adrenaline pumping in his veins, but he was getting worked up, and Chrollo’s obvious nonchalant answers were only angering him further. As soon as the tall man grabbed the Troupe leader’s shirt, Kurapika twisted his arm out of his grip, knowing there would be bruises, and slammed his stiletto into the arch of Chrollo’s foot. He utilized Shu with the strength of a well-trained enhancer to hopefully shatter his foot. With his arm now free, and Chrollo at least stunned, he turned and bolted from the lobby, trying to ignore the flash of red he saw out of the corner of his eye. 

 

He got outside, hearing footsteps following and a woman screaming in horror. He turned a couple corners, activating his Zetsu and jumping on top of a small building. Even with his Zetsu up however, he kept running, trying to get as far away from the Spider head as he could. He wasn’t sure what the range of his En was, and he knew the man was fast. So he kept going, leaping from building to building with ease. 

 

After a while, when he was certain he had lost the other, he stopped and took a breather. He thought of all the things he would need to do, such as replace his phone. It would probably be a good idea to change numbers. He would disconnect his old number, and call Senritsu on his new phone so that Chrollo couldn’t get to anyone through his old cell. After that, he would return to the underground, and figure out what to do from there.  

 

Having a plan in place, regardless of how temporary it was, made him feel more at ease. He started on his course of action immediately, travelling to a different city by train to find a phone store. About an hour later, he had a new phone, and had stopped at a conveniently nearby store to buy himself some new clothes. He despised having to wear the bra and panties for so long, and while he still had to settle with a sports bra, he was able to get masculine clothes and toss the old ones in a dumpster. It felt odd to be wearing jeans and a hoodie, but it would help keep him disguised.

 

With these tasks completed, he checked the GPS on his phone to figure out which direction he needed to travel to get back to his agency. He was about 100 kilometers west northwest of Zaban City, so he would head there, and then travel to Yorkshin. He caught the next train out of the small town he was in, waiting a while before texting Senritsu; hers was one of the few cell numbers he had memorized, the others being Killua’s, Hisoka’s, and though he loathed to admit it, Leorio’s. 

 

His text was short, sweet, and to the point, though he knew it would raise a million questions.  _ ‘I’m headed back to Yorkshin now. I was unable to complete my mission, but I am fine. I’m going dark for a while.’  _

 

He received one text in response, about equal in length.  _ ‘Okay Kurapika. I will let Leorio know to stop worrying. I’m always open for talking if you don’t feel well.’ _

  
_ ‘Thank you Senritsu.’  _ He didn’t expect a response, and he didn’t receive one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am so sorry about how long it took for me to upload the next chapter. I've had a lot of things going on at home, with no internet connection and a death of a family member I was very close to. I'm sorry this chapter is super short too, but I was having a very difficult time writing the escape scene. I didn't want Kurapika relying too much on outside factors, as he doesn't like having random variables, and we all know how Kurapika refuses to accept help. I'm writing the next chapter already, but I'm not sure when it will be released. I promise it will be a longer chapter though! 
> 
> I just wanted to add: Thank you so much everyone who commented on the last chapter! I'm glad there are so many people who are enjoying this so far, and I always smile when I see requests for me to update. It really means a lot to me. Love you guys!


	9. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 1: Phone Calls Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika deals with the aftermath of what happened with Chrollo, and starts talking to a friend again.

_‘I’m headed back to Yorkshin now. I was unable to complete my mission, but I am fine. I’m going_

_dark for a while.’_

_Okay Kurapika. I will let Leorio know to stop worrying. I’m always open for talking if you don’t feel well.’_

_‘Thank you Senritsu.’_

 

It had been a few days since Kurapika had escaped from Chrollo Lucilfer, and though he loath to admit it, he had been getting even less sleep than he usually did. Whenever he closed his eyes for longer than an hour, he thought he heard things, such as near silent footsteps approaching his bed, or the soft thud of clothing hitting the floor. He would snap awake, only to see nothing. The first few times it happened, he tried to dismiss it as just his imagination, but the sounds were too close to his bed for it to be. His paranoia only increased when he woke up a couple times feeling like someone was watching him.

 

He decided he would continue to work when he couldn’t sleep, leading to long days and even longer nights. It allowed him to catch up with the work that had piled up from his position as the Rat, so he tried not to complain too much. He knew he was reaching his limit quickly; with the line of work he had been in for the last 6 years, and his personal mission for the last 11, he was chipping away at his life faster and faster in more ways than one. He had never bothered to calculate how often he used Emperor Time, but he knew it was often. He’s probably easily taken a few years off his life from that alone.

 

Another cause for his paranoia was his friends. He had received a few texts here and there from them, questioning if he was okay. He refused to tell them anything. With Chrollo’s words still echoing in his mind, Kurapika was worried about him going after his friends. He had people silently guarding all of them: Gon, Killua and Alluka, Leorio, even Senritsu. They sent him regular updates about everyone.

 

The only ones who noticed were Senritsu, because of her super hearing, and Killua, because of his assassin training. When Senritsu noticed, he received a voicemail from her once again inviting him to talk about what had happened, but he didn’t respond. When Killua noticed however, he received enough calls to rival Leorio’s obsession, and he finally picked up out of sheer frustration. The conversation was pointed, with Killua berating him saying he had no right to just go off the radar out of nowhere and leave a bodyguard to watch over everyone, and that he could take care of himself. Kurapika ended the conversation by saying one thing.

 

“The Phantom Troupe is hunting me down and will go after you as well. Don’t get cocky Killua. Think of Alluka.”

 

Killua hung up after a tense moment of silence.

 

Whenever he had a moment to himself, his brain flooded itself with unhelpful thoughts, ranging from hunting down Chrollo again, which he knew he wouldn’t succeed, to going to lie with his brethren in the mountains for eternity. Only once in a moment of weakness, when he was curled up on the floor in the dark away from the moonlight piercing through his window, nails digging into his skin until he was bleeding, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, did he call Senritsu. Even over the phone, her flute was a soothing sound, and he started to calm down after a while. Upon her request, he had placed the receiver over his heart so she could listen while she played, and she commented at the end of the piece that he was close to breaking.

 

“You tread a dangerous path Kurapika. One only you can ask for help on. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I will come immediately. Even if it’s just playing the flute so you can sleep, I will do it. Please keep that in mind.”

 

With a shaky voice, Kurapika had told her he would think about it, and thanked her, and hung up shortly after. He managed to sleep for a few hours, but he still woke up from a nightmare about the assaults. He refused to leave his office after a while, as every time he looked at his bed, he was reminded of the Troupe leader. Kurapika hardly even showered due to the memories, and when he did, his heart pounded in his ears, and he was so shaky that it was hard to wash.

 

The days passed slowly, and when he didn’t have paperwork, he hung onto the hourly reports he got from the people he hired. Leorio was always at home or school, doing endless amounts of studying that cut into his sleep. Kurapika was tempted a few times to text him to go to sleep, but he didn’t want to deal with the resulting conversation that he would be forced into. Besides, he was getting good test scores, which made the aspiring doctor happy, so he let him study himself into a frenzy. Senritsu started approaching the man he had watching her, to give him updates herself about her music hunting. Kurapika rolled his eyes with a half-hearted smile when he had heard about it the first time. It was just like her. He was glad for her when he found out she only had one part left of the Sonata of Darkness to find before her personal quest would be found.

 

He was relieved when he found out that Gon had started traveling again with Killua and Alluka. He still didn’t have his nen, so him traveling alone was stressful. If he was captured again by the Spiders, Gon would not be able to defend himself. He knew Killua would do everything he could to protect Gon, so he wasn’t worried. Killua was even beginning to train Alluka in nen, so she could start defending herself. The girl was shaping up quickly, having inherited the Zoldyck talent. He was glad that she was never trained to be an assassin though -- she was too pure to take jobs in that world.

 

Kurapika was becoming unnerved by the lack of action being taken by the Troupe. There had been neither hide nor hair of any of them, not even committing crimes; a couple days back, there had been a rather large exchange of wealth between a couple of mafiosos that had gone off without a hitch, something that hadn’t happened in a few years. Every time he allowed himself to try and sleep, he expected to wake up to a report saying one of his friends was taken or killed.

 

One night, Kurapika had woken up and saw that there was no report from the woman watching Leorio; it was already a half hour past the appointed time. His heart rate and breathing quickened, and without thinking, he called Leorio. His hands were shaking bad enough he almost dropped his phone a couple times. Once it was finally ringing he brought it to his ear, his eyes bright red from panic. The phone picked up after a few rings.

 

“Kurapika! What the fuck, where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering my calls?! Do you know how worried I’ve been since I saw that asshole drag you out of the bar?” Kurapika felt relief flood over him, and he gripped the phone tightly, listening to Leorio’s voice without really hearing what he was saying. _He’s okay._ He didn’t realize he was crying until a sniffle and a hiccup stopped Leorio mid yelling. “Kurapika? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” His voice had dropped to a much lower level, and the concern was evident in his tone.

 

Normally Kurapika would have immediately hung up, but now that Leorio knew something was wrong, he wouldn’t let up. And with how panicked he had been, he wouldn’t have the heart to be able to ignore the calls. “I-It’s nothing Leorio. I’m fine…” he sniffled again, yearning to hear Leorio’s voice again (not that he would admit that). “H-how have you been? How is med school going?” He asked him weakly, even though he already knew what was going on. “Knowing you, you’ve probably been studying to death.”

 

Leorio wasn’t buying his diversion however, and he quickly brought the conversation back to the blond. “Kurapika, I know you’re not okay. I won’t asked what happened that night, okay? I just want an honest answer as to why you’re crying. Please.” His heart hurt listening to Leorio worry about him, but he couldn’t tell him. He was too worried Leorio figuring out what really happened if he said anything. He knows what his friend would do if he found out even a hint. It was his own fault he was raped anyway, so there was no point in telling the world about it. “It’s nothing Leorio. I just…” his throat closed up when he realized what he was about to say.

 

_I just wanted to know you were okay._

 

He couldn’t say that, it would raise too many questions.

 

“You just what Kurapika? It’s not nothing. You can tell me anything, I won’t tell a soul. You know I won’t. I didn’t tell anyone about you-”

 

“Leorio, please. I-I-I don’t want to talk abo-about myself right n-now... “ He hated how pitiful he sounded, but when Leorio went silent, he knew he had won. Kurapika’s breathing was ragged as he tried to calm down, and he was trembling all over. Leorio started talking again after a bit. “Okay… Med school had been going well. With all of Cheadle’s help back during the voyage, I’ve been sailing through school. I’ve only got one year left until I am a licensed medical practitioner. I’ll still be continuing after that, but it will be for more specialized fields of medicine.” He said proudly.

 

“That’s great Leorio. I’m happy for you. What field are you going to specialize in? Or do you know yet?”

 

Leorio seemed to think for a second, but when he answered it was certain and clearly well thought out. “I’ve been debating becoming either a pediatrician or a gynecologist.” Kurapika’s chest tightened at the word gynecologist. He needed to go see his, but he didn’t want to deal with what she would say when she saw the physical trauma to his body. He didn’t realize Leorio had kept talking. “-enjoy working with children. I’ve had to a couple time for school work, and it’s fun. Even with the terminal patients, they have the most amazing sense of life. They enjoy it, even though they know it’s ending for them.”

 

Kurapika had to hide that he hadn’t been listening to half of it. “It sounds like it. I know that whatever you choose, you’ll be great at it.” He was honestly kind of glad that he had missed Leorio’s explanation as to why he would want to be a gyno -- he didn’t want to hear about it at all. “Thanks Kurapika.” Kurapika nodded, even though the other couldn’t see it. He was still sniffling a little, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. He had a headache though, so he glanced at his reflection in the glass of his window to see his eyes were a light shade of red. He hadn’t even noticed. He turned his attention back to his phone. “Sorry, if you just said something, I missed it. I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye... How has everything else been going? Any...any new girlfriends? I know you broke up with your old girlfriend a few months back…”

 

“Oh, so you actually listen to my voicemails? Why don’t you ever call back then, huh?” Leorio sounded annoyed. Kurapika had blushed a little at what he had admitted, but then got annoyed as well. “Maybe it’s because I don’t want you butting in on my business Leorio. As I’ve told you several times before.” He heard Leorio scoff, and he felt anger bubble in his chest. “What the hell are you scoffing at?”

 

“If I hadn’t been butting in, then would you and that asshole have just done it at the bar? You two were getting rather handsy for being in public. Besides, I thought you hated him. It sure as hell didn’t look like it when he had his tongue down your throat! How long have you been shacking up with him anyway? The Kurapika I know would never come up with that plan, but you definitely seemed practiced. Or are you even the Kurapika I know? I know those boobs are real, and I sure as hell didn’t see a dick between your legs when your skirt rode up.”

 

Kurapika felt his anger quickly building, and the tears returned as quickly as they had gone. How dare he?! How dare he suggest such a thing when he spent a week getting used as Chrollo’s sex doll! How dare he fucking even think such things! “You are such a fucking asshole Leorio Paladiknight! How dare you suggest I could even like the man that brutally murdered my family! My entire clan! How dare you think otherwise! I have spent years of my life tracking down that man so that I could get my revenge! You clearly don’t know anything about me if that’s what you think of me!” He could feel his chest tightening, and he couldn’t breathe.

 

“Of course I don’t know anything about you! You haven’t told me anything about you since York Shin! When were you going to tell me you were a girl?! Am I the last to know? Do Gon and Killua know?! Do I need to call them to get some fucking answers around here!?” Kurapika felt like he was slapped in the face and punched in the gut at the same time. Panic clouded his thoughts. “No! Don’t call them about this! Please! They don’t know, I promise. The only person who knows is Senritsu.” He was beginning to hyperventilate as memories from his time spent with Chrollo played rapid-fire in his head, and he felt clammy and his hands felt sweaty. His panic attack came on quickly, and it was obvious apparently because Leorio was quickly back-peddling. “Fuck, shit, I’m sorry Kurapika, I didn’t- I wasn’t- fuck!”

 

He heard Leorio curse again, then went quiet for a bit. “I’m sorry Kurapika, I wasn’t thinking. I just got angry, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Kurapika, I need you to listen to me, okay? Kurapika? Just give me some affirmative, okay?”

 

Kurapika tried to focus on his phone, but it was difficult. Holding his phone was reminding him of when he was on the couch after he was raped the first time, so he shakily put it on speaker and set it down next to him. He heard Leorio call his name again, so he shakily confirmed he was listening. “Okay Kurapika, I want you to do 5 things for me, okay? It should help you straighten out your thoughts.” Kurapika gave him another confirmation. “The first thing I want you to do is to identify and name 5 things you can see. You can do it in your head, but if you feel like you can speak, it’s better to say it out loud, okay?”

 

Kurapika nodded and looked around. His vision swam, making it difficult to focus, but he tried. “M-my desk… the clock...th-the win...window...the...the trash...trashcan...a-a-and...paperwork…applications for bodyguard jobs…” The next thing Leorio told him to do was identify 4 things he could feel. He stuttered through his chair, his clothes, the floor, and his hair against his face. After that it was 3 things he could hear. He listed the wind, his heart beat, and Leorio’s breathing. Then 2 things he could smell. He said his coffee, and the flowers Senritsu had sent him with a recording of her playing the flute. The last thing he was asked to identify was 1 thing he could taste. He felt more aware of himself and his surroundings, and he wasn’t shaking as much, but the first thing that came to mind was when he was forced to give Chrollo a blow job. He felt bile rise in his throat, and he could distinctly remember the taste. He thought to himself that he could taste semen and blood, but then he realized something. He opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out a little, running a finger over it. He pulled it away and looked at his hand: there was blood on it. “Blood… I taste blood…”

 

Leorio gave him some time to rinse out his mouth. Kurapika felt better, but his thoughts were still racing, and he was still shaking. He thanked Leorio quietly, going to lay down in his apartment above his workplace. He kept Leorio on the line. He listened to Leorio apologize over and over again, and after a while, he finally told him it was okay. “You don’t need to apologize Leorio… you’re right… I haven’t really told you anything about me. And after you did help me convince Chrollo… I feel you deserve to know what happened…” Leorio tried to tell him it was okay, and that he didn’t need to tell him anything if he wasn’t comfortable, but Kurapika insisted. Leorio finally conceded after a while. “Okay, shoot Kurapika. I’ll listen.”


	10. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 2: Phone Calls Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leorio finds out what happened to Kurapika.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm sorry I didn't post this earlier in the week. Work has been killing me XP Also this chapter is a train wreck, I am so sorry.

_ "I haven’t really told you anything about me. And after you did help me convince Chrollo… I feel you deserve to know what happened…” Leorio tried to tell him it was okay, and that he didn’t need to tell him anything if he wasn’t comfortable, but Kurapika insisted. Leorio finally conceded after a while. “Okay, shoot Kurapika. I’ll listen.” _

 

Kurapika didn't know where to start. He thought back to the questions Leorio asked earlier, but it made his throat tighten up again. “What do you want to know first?” He asked quietly, his voice sounding strained. He focused on breathing while Leorio thought. 

 

“Are you a girl?” The question caused him to curl his fingers into his comforter. He thought of how to answer. While part of him screamed at him to just vehemently deny such a thought, but he wanted to make sure Leorio actually understood. He spoke slowly. “Biologically, yes, I am female. However, mentally, I am a male, and I use he and him pronouns. I’m transgender…” he waited for the denials, the accusations that he was just a pervert or just insane. He closed his eyes tight as if that could protect him from the onslaught of insults. But they never came. Instead, Leorio made a noise of understanding. “I take it that this isn't a recent realization due to the fact that I've known you as a guy for the better part of 6 years now. When did you know? If you don't mind my asking…” Kurapika felt relief he wasn't sure he was allowed to feel. Leorio didn't seem to be confused, but he didn't sound happy either. “I've known since I was about 6 or 7… are you...are you okay with this?”

 

“Why wouldn't I be Kurapika? You're my friend, and I can't know your brain better than you. If that's how you identify, then that's who you are. And I respect that.” Leorio said decisively. Kurapika felt his bottom lip tremble, so he caught it with his teeth to get it to stop. He let the relief wash over him, and he let out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding. “Thank you Leorio… that really means a lot to me… out of the couple handfuls of people I've told, only you and Senritsu have taken it well…” he played with his hair a little bit. He heard Leorio sigh on the other end, and he worried he said something wrong. “People are assholes Kurapika, and they don't like accepting that there are different types of people in the world. I would suggest you let Gon and Killua know too though. I know they will take it well, so you should trust them with the information as well.” Kurapika was thinking the opposite, but he wasn't going to say that. 

 

“Was there anything else you wanted to know about this, or did you want to move to the next topic?” Kurapika asked quietly. He honestly preferred talking about his gender identity than the events that transpired between him and Chrollo. “I have a few questions, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” 

 

“I'm going to be uncomfortable regardless Leorio…” he replied softly. He waited for Leorio to think of his next question. “What were you hoping to accomplish with what you were doing at the bar?” Kurapika furrowed his brows and frowned at the question. “Isn't it obvious Leorio? I was trying to capture Chrollo so I could kill him.” 

 

“Yes, but what was your plan? Did you succeed? I'm assuming by the fact that you're not celebrating and by your attack earlier that at least something went wrong. You usually just yell right back at me, give me all you got. But you broke down. Why?” Kurapika felt nauseous, but he forced himself to answer. “My plan was to be taken back to the Troupe’s hideout and taken to bed with their leader so that I could capture him with my Chain Jail. My hope was that he would be distracted long enough to get him, but no, I did not succeed…. Everything went wrong. He realized who I was, we didn’t go back to the hideout…” His throat tightened again, and he stopped talking to focus on breathing. 

 

Leorio waited for him to be ready to speak, which he was grateful for. It took a few minutes, but Leorio assured him it was fine when he apologized. When he was ready to come out and say it, he clutched his pillow tight, staring into nothingness. “He raped me… told me it was my fault… and it was… I all but literally asked him to fuck me, so he did. He even told me that I could leave before we got to the hotel if I was having second thoughts, but I didn’t. I crawled into his lap and made out with him in the taxi. I didn’t even try that hard to stop him-!” The bile that was steadily creeping up his throat finally wanted out, so he frantically grabbed his trashcan and threw up.

 

He could hear Leorio talking from his abandoned phone, so he shakily picked it up and put it back to his ear. “-your fault! Rape is not the fault of the victim Kurapika, only of the rapist. It’s not your fault at all.” He could tell Leorio was angry, but under that anger, he could hear the sadness, the pity. This is why he didn’t want to tell anyone; he couldn’t stand the pity. He didn’t need it and he didn’t want it. Without another thought, he hung up, setting his phone down. He watched his phone ring a couple times, but he let it go to voicemail. His screen then lit up with a text, then another. His curiosity won over and he picked up his phone, unlocking it to check the texts. 

 

_ ‘Hey, I had more questions. You’re not picking up, so I’ll just text them to you. Answer them if you feel able to, okay? I don’t want to pressure you.’ _

 

_ ‘Did it happen more than once? You were gone for several days according to Senritsu. _

_ Were you injured at all? I mean, more so than what would be expected? I know that he is a strong person, and no matter how strong you are Kurapika, which you are, rape hurts you on the inside. _

_ Did he use protection at all? _

_ I don’t know if you’re on HRT, but if you aren’t, have you gotten your period yet? I don’t know what your cycle is, but you need to keep an eye on it. _

_ If you are on HRT, please go to a gynecologist Kurapika. Even if you aren’t, please. I know you will probably be very uncomfortable. If you really don’t feel comfortable, I have started studying gynecology, so if you want, I can check for you. You’re my friend, and I want to make sure you’re okay. I’ve known trans men, as well as victims of rape, becoming pregnant, and I’ve seen how much it fucked with their heads. You also need to check if he gave you any diseases.’ _

 

Kurapika felt his breathing falter as he read through the questions, especially the pregnancy ones. He felt tense, and even though he didn’t want to answer, he knew Leorio was asking because it was possibly going to become his area of expertise. He was unsure whether or not to take Leorio up on his offer. On one hand, his gynecologist was an expert, but he didn’t want her to know what happened to him, and she didn’t believe he was actually transgender. On the other hand, Leorio already knew what happened, and he was accepting of his gender identity. He was clearly concerned for both his physical and mental health. But he wasn’t comfortable with being almost naked in front of his gyno, let alone Leorio, who he realized by now he definitely had stronger feelings for than he let on. He glanced at the questions again, figuring he should answer.

 

_ ‘Yes. _

_ Yes, but I healed myself with my chains. _

_ No. _

_ I’m not on HRT, but I’m not pregnant Leorio. I appreciate the concern.’ _

 

He didn’t want to think he was pregnant at least. He should be getting his period in the next couple days, so he would deal with the possibility later. His phone beeped with another text.

 

_ ‘I know you don’t want to think of the possibility that you are pregnant, but you need to check. How long is your cycle? When was your last period?’ _

 

Kurapika felt increasing discomfort with the questions being asked; these were questions you don’t ask your friend. They were far too personal.

 

_ ‘I don’t want to talk to you about this Leorio.’ _

 

_ ‘Kurapika, you are too proud to go to a gyno about this. You need to tell someone. Even if you don’t want to.’ _

 

Kurapika scowled at his phone, angrily typing out his next message.

 

_ ‘You’re right, I don’t want to. Either move on to a different topic or this conversation is over.’ _

 

It took Leorio so long to respond he almost believed Leorio had actually given up. But he was wrong. The next question Leorio asked made him wonder where he was going with it and he didn’t have a good feeling about it.

 

_ ‘What is your sexuality?’ _

 

Kurapika shifted a bit on the bed, wondering how he should answer. He wasn’t ashamed to be gay, quite the opposite actually, but he hadn’t told anyone yet. He didn’t know why; being gay was much more socially acceptable than being trans was, but he just felt it wasn’t as important. It apparently took him long enough to answer that he got another text from Leorio.

 

_ ‘If it makes you feel any better, I’m bisexual. I like both beautiful women and men.’ _

 

That did make him feel better, surprisingly. He was more surprised by the admission though. Leorio is bi? Kurapika had never seen him take any interest in men, only women. There was one time that he could kind of count, but Leorio was drunk. When they were on the voyage back from the Dark Continent, Kurapika had been able to relax a bit more because the Succession War was over. He hadn’t needed to watch Prince Woble or Queen Oito anymore, and the remaining Troupe members had been steering clear of him, more focused on finding Hisoka. He stalled in typing up his reply as his brain thought about what had happened between him and Leorio.  


 

_ Leorio had a little bit of free time and had invited him to go drinking. He was going to decline, but with everything that had happened in the Dark Continent, he felt they should celebrate that they made it out with their lives. So he had accepted, a small smile curving his lips as he walked behind a very cheerful Leorio to the Black Whale’s bar. The bartender served him despite him being underage, probably due to knowing all the shit he had to go through during the trip. He had gotten buzzed rather quickly, nursing his drink while he listened to Leorio ramble about all the things he had learned while working under Cheadle. It had been a nice night until Leorio started hitting on some random women that were sitting near them. He tried to avoid him for the next hour, going so far as to move to the other end of the bar away from the tall man. He downed the rest of his drink, feeling a little more than buzzed when Leorio had plopped down into the seat next to him. _

 

_ “Aren’t all the women here just gorgeous?” he had said enthusiastically. Leorio was already drunk, but he ordered more alcohol anyway. Kurapika pointedly kept his gaze on his glass, listening to Leorio tell him he got a couple numbers, and he was looking forward to contacting them later in the trip. The conversation lulled for a bit, then Leorio asked him a question. “Do you know who the most beautiful person on this ship is though?” Kurapika made an uninterested noise, expecting him to start talking about some woman he’d met, and was trying to ignore him. However, his full attention was brought to Leorio when his hand gently grabbed his chin and turned his head to look at him. His eyes widened when he saw how close to him Leorio was, only a couple inches. How did he not notice the other get so close to him? He should have felt his body heat at the very least! Leorio was not a cold man. He was a very warm, attractive man, with beautifully tanned skin and eyes the color of chocolate.  _

 

_ He saw Leorio’s lips move, but he didn’t hear the words until Leorio said his name. “Kurapika? Did you hear me?” The blond had the decency to look a little ashamed as he shook his head. Normally he would have made Leorio let go of him, but for some reason, probably the alcohol, he decided he liked having Leorio’s hand touch him. He gave the other his full attention as he spoke again. “I said the most beautiful person on this ship is you, Kurapika.”  _

 

_ With that, Leorio leaned down and brushed their lips together, and Kurapika’s skin felt like it was on fire. He was shocked rigid but also melting. Him, the most beautiful? There was no way. He may be gay, but he could tell there were definitely more attractive women than he on this boat. Leorio was too drunk to realize what he was saying, that had to be it. Kurapika pressed closer into the kiss, fully connecting their lips before he placed his hand on Leorio’s chest and pushed him back gently. He hid his face with his bangs. “Thank you for the compliment Leorio. I feel very tired. I will settle my tab, then head to my room. Get back to your room safe, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, Kurapika paid his bill and all but ran back to his room once he was out of the bar. _

 

He had never told Leorio what had happened, and it didn’t seem like Leorio had remembered, so he had always just brushed it off as a fluke. Maybe he just looked too much like his birth sex at that point for Leorio to really know who was talking to. He glanced at his phone again and saw another text from Leorio with just his name and a question mark. He finally finished his reply quickly. 

 

_ ‘I’m gay. Sorry, my phone didn’t inform me I received a text.’  _ Kurapika didn’t care about the lie he just sent the other, hoping the other wouldn’t question him about it. His uneasy feeling from earlier was proven right when he saw the next text he received from his friend.  _ ‘Kurapika, if you are pregnant, what are you going to do with the child?’ _

 

What the hell kind of question was that? What did he think he would do with his rapist’s child? It should be obvious that he would abort the child, and he told Leorio as much. The next question Leorio sent hit him hard though, and he didn’t want to deal with it. At all. He had already agonized over it enough, and he hadn’t been able to come up with an acceptable answer; it was already going against his personal views on abortion. His head spun as he tried to organize his thoughts.

 

_ ‘Even though the child would be a Kurta?’ _

 

* * *

 

About a week after his conversation with Leorio, Kurapika was in his office, sorting through some people who had put in applications for bodyguard jobs. Even though he felt bad, he didn’t answer Leorio’s question. He had other things to worry about, such as why Leorio’s bodyguard hadn’t updated him earlier in the week, and why she wasn’t updating now. He was also dealing with the increasing anxiety caused by his period being late. He was matching an application to a job when there was a knock at his door, Mizaistom entering the room with a grim look. He felt dread creep into his nerves, and he met his fellow Zodiac’s eyes. “What happened?”

 

“The Boar is missing.”


	11. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 3: Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika reaches out to a few friends to help him rescue Leorio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another jumbled heap of a chapter. I'm sorry the quality of these chapters just seem to be falling quick. There is some important info going into the note at the end, so be sure to check it out!

_‘Kurapika, if you are pregnant, what are you going to do with the child?’_

_He would abort it. Right?_

_‘Even though the child would be a Kurta?’_

 

_“What happened?”_

_“The Boar is missing.”_

 

Kurapika tried to get ahold of the woman who was guarding Leorio, but she wasn’t answering. He found out later that she was murdered when they took Leorio -- they being the Phantom Troupe. One of them had carved their symbol into the woman’s back and had left a note with coordinates on it and a time and date. Kurapika went back to his apartment, taking a deep breath. He needed to tell Gon and Killua. As much as he didn’t want to, they deserve to know that their friend might be dead, and another may be killed in the process of saving him. He pulled out his phone and dialed Killua’s number, only having to wait for a few rings before it was picked up.

 

“Hey Kurapika, this is a surprise. You usually only call when something is wrong.” Killua said cautiously, and Kurapika suddenly didn’t want to tell them. He had to though. “Killua, can you put the phone on speaker?” He asked tiredly, waiting while Killua complied. He heard Gon and Alluka say hello to him, and he greeted them in return. Killua asked what was up, and Kurapika sighed again softly.

 

“As you know, I was being held captive by the Troupe. Their leader told me that if I escaped, they were going to go after you guys. I’m sure both of you have noticed the people following you by now…” He knew Killua’s answer already, but he still received affirmatives from both of his friends. “They have been giving me hourly updates since the day after I escaped. I have not received any updates from the person following Leorio, and as of this morning, I found out that the person was killed, and the Troupe has taken Leorio.” He heard Gon and Alluka gasp, Gon in surprise and Alluka in horror. He kept talking. “I’m going to get him out of there dead or alive, but it is probably a suicide mission.” He heard Killua scoff and mutter something under his breath, but he didn’t question what it was. “I wanted to let you guys know before I left.”

 

As he predicted, Gon protested. He insisted that he and Killua be able to help. That they were adults, so he couldn’t stop them anyway. “Gon, I’m the one with the ability to stop the Spiders. You don’t even have nen anymore. It’s better if-” He was cut off by Gon’s enthusiastic yelling. “I do now! Killua unlocked my aura nodes again! We’re training again, and he’s helping me with Alluka! I don’t have a lot of nen yet, but I’m building it up again!” It was hard to believe Gon was an adult sometimes. He found it strange that the guards didn’t report this to him -- they were all highly advanced nen users, so they should have easily noticed his nen training.

 

“That’s great Gon. But I’m going next week. Your nen will not be at a proficient level yet at that point. As much as I appreciate the offer, I don’t want to risk all of us getting killed.” Kurapika looked at the floor, listening to Gon and Killua debating quietly. He already knew what they were going to say, but he couldn’t think of anything to say to convince them to not come with him. So he waited patiently for his friends to think.

 

It was Killua who spoke up, clearing his throat to catch Kurapika’s attention. “The old man is our friend too Kurapika, so we’re coming with you. Besides, you have a hard-on for Leorio, so you won’t be thinking clearly.” Kurapika blushed profusely, not looking at his phone despite the fact that the three couldn’t see him. “I-I do not. Leorio is just a friend, and I certainly do not think of him that way.” He put a hand over his face. Were his feelings for Leorio really that obvious? Even if they were, Killua needn’t use such language to describe them. He heard Killua laugh. “You keep telling yourself that man. Though your stutter basically said everything.”

 

“Maybe I just don’t like people talking about my personal life in such a vulgar manner, Killua. I’m surprised you talk like that in front of Alluka. I remember you used to be very attentive in making sure she didn’t hear foul language.” Killua laughed again, and Kurapika huffed, his blush fading away while he listened to his white-haired friend calm his snickers. “She’s 17 Kurapika, she’s used to it by now. But all right mom. You don’t gotta be stuck up all the time. Maybe you need to finally get laid so you can start acting like a regular 23-year-old. Not that you have time with all the work you pile on yourself.”

 

Kurapika tensed at Killua’s statement, and he felt his skin crawl as memories resurfaced once again. He quickly pushed them away before he felt sick, glaring at his phone. “If you really want to come, then write down the coordinates I’m about to give you, and I will contact you in two days about when we will meet up there. I need to get going. Goodbye.” He barely waited for the chorus of ‘bye’s before he hung up, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

 

Kurapika settled into his office, handing off the rest of the applications to one of his workers so he could start coming up with a plan. He knew he should go to the appointed location at least once before the scheduled time so that he could become familiar with the terrain, and find all the nearest hiding spots. He would meet face to face with whichever Troupe member decided to show, but he wanted Killua and Gon to track them in case he was incapacitated in the process. Killua could hide his presence better than most, but it wouldn’t matter if the Spider’s En was too large. It could be easily avoided, but he would have to follow at a distance of at least 30 meters. Maybe he should ask Senritsu to help out; her hearing could come in handy...

 

He didn’t want to ask, but he knew he should. With a heavy sigh, he pulled his phone back out and gave her a call. After a half hour of conversation, she agreed to help him out with reassurances that he wouldn’t be taking up too much of her time. She did ask him how he was feeling, but she didn’t pry, which Kurapika was grateful for. With the new addition to his group, he proceeded to plan out a strategy.

 

* * *

 

It was evening the following day, and Kurapika had returned from the given location about an hour previously. It had been a small clearing in a forest that reminded him of the island they went to during the Hunter’s Exam. While he was looking around, he had noticed footprints in the slightly muddy terrain, their freshness suggesting he wasn’t the only one there. He went on high alert, wondering if there was a Troupe member there doing the same thing he was. He cautiously continued his surveillance, not encountering anyone even after he left.

 

When he returned to his workplace, Mizaistom was there waiting for him. He was wanting to help locate their fellow Zodiac, and while Kurapika knew he could trust him, he declined, telling him he had it under control. Truthfully, he just didn’t want to risk more peoples’ lives than he was already going to. After a slightly heated discussion, he convinced the Crime Hunter to leave, though not without making Kurapika promise that he would contact him if he needed help.

 

Kurapika was currently devising a strategy based on each of the possibilities of who would meet him at the location. He had started with Chrollo and was moving down the list of Troupe members. He was also ruling out who would be most likely, and who would be the least likely. The thing he was worried about was if the Troupe had finally replaced Uvogin, Pakunoda, Shalnark, or Kortopi. He knew that Killua’s little brother, Kalluto, had replaced Hisoka when he left, and that for a time during the voyage, Killua’s older brother Illumi had also joined. He wasn’t sure what happened after the voyage since he hadn’t heard from Hisoka in many years. All he knew was that Hisoka and Illumi were both still alive. It was very unlikely either of the Zoldycks would be the one to collect him, but that didn’t stop him from hoping they wouldn’t be. Killua was very skilled for a reason.

 

He had decided the most likely to show would be Machi, Feitan, Nobunaga, or Chrollo. Next would be Phinks, Franklin, and Shizuku in that order. He wasn’t sure of Kalluto’s importance to the Troupe, so he couldn’t place him. Bonolenov would be the least likely. He didn’t really show up unless the whole Troupe was called together. He wasn’t too worried about him anyway. Kurapika may not be sure what his abilities are, but he couldn’t be that good, considering he never sees them in reports of their heists.  

 

He thought of any possibility, from individual to groups. He only stopped when the sun was coming up, and he decided to try and get some sleep before he needed to contact Killua again.

 

A few hours of restless sleep later, Kurapika was dialing Killua’s number. It picked up on the third ring. “Finally, I was wondering when you were going to call us. So, when are we meeting? We’re already here, so I guess it would be more accurate to ask when are you getting here?” Kurapika furrowed his brows at Killua’s statement. “You’re already at the location?”

 

“Yeah, we’ve been here for about a day. We were actually pretty close by. I’m surprised you didn’t know that with our ‘bodyguards’ you hired reporting back to you.” Kurapika pursed his lips together in annoyance. Neither Gon nor Killua’s guards had reported to him about that. He would have to have a serious discussion about their jobs if he made it out of this alive. “What time did you three arrive? I scouted the area yesterday, and I didn’t see you.”

 

“Oh, that was you we heard? I heard someone walking around I had everyone hide until the sounds were gone. I wish I had known it was you, I would have scouted with you.”

 

Kurapika sighed. “Well I’ll show up in two days time, then and we can go over the plan. Be careful though, the Troupe members may be keeping an eye on the area.” Killua gave him an affirmative and hung up, leaving Kurapika to his thoughts again. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed the three of them. He may not have a wide range on his En, about 10 meters, but he went around a large area -- they had to be extremely lucky to have avoided him. Or Killua might have been on the lookout.

 

Regardless, it was reckless of them to show up so soon. He could use this to his advantage. Both Killua and Gon were very smart, and they had also dealt with the Phantom Troupe multiple times before. He wasn’t certain whether or not Killua and Alluka knew their brother was part of the Spiders or not, but he hoped that it wouldn’t prevent them from doing what they needed to do. He would have to discuss it with them.

 

A thought flashed through his head, though it was more a voice. ‘ _I would suggest you let Killua and Gon know though. I know they will take it okay..’_ He shuddered at the thought of telling anyone else about his being transgender. He didn’t care if they were his friends, far more people now knew than he was comfortable with. But… it was likely he would be... raped... again. And there would be no way that Gon and Killua wouldn’t try to save him, and he wouldn’t want them to get captured because they were caught by surprise. He would feel awful.

 

But what if they just left him for dead when they found out? No one knew how they are going to respond in a situation until it happens… Leorio had no way of knowing for certain that their younger friends would take it okay. But they are his friends, they have the right to know. He squeezed his eyes shut tight; they don’t need to know anything. He shouldn’t have gotten them involved in this to begin with. He was surprised they even wanted to be around him anyway -- it wasn’t like he really reached out to maintain their friendships. He wouldn’t be shocked if they were just helping him to save Leorio and would be gone as soon as he was safe.

 

His thoughts continued to flip-flop like this for the rest of the day until, in an anxiety-induced haze, he stumbled to his room to play the recording Senritsu gave him, falling asleep to the calming melody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see the pun in the last sentence? I am proud of that pun.
> 
> Anyway, as some of you might have noticed, there is now a final chapter count. We are approaching endgame, and I have the rest of the fic planned out. I have something huge planned in the next few chapters, like game-changing huge. Hopefully you guys enjoy it! I haven't seen this idea in any of the other fanfics I've read, so I'm excited to play it out.


	12. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 4: Making Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika meets up with Gon and Killua, and they find out something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a note!!!! This chapter illustrates Kurapika not taking proper precautions when chest binding. When binding, make sure you don't go over 8 hours, and make sure you can always comfortably breath every second you are wearing your binder! Please, please be careful. You shouldn't let dysphoria or cosplay keep you from being healthy! Also, please do not ever sleep in any constricting clothing.

_His thoughts continued to flip-flop like this for the rest of the day, until in an anxiety-induced haze he stumbled to his room and played the recording Senritsu gave him, falling asleep to the calming melody._

 

Two days later, Kurapika was arriving at the location. He had called Killua to let him know that he was on his way earlier, but he was still being cautious. He was letting his presence be known, but he didn’t want to be too obvious. He had no desire to be on the bad end of a Zoldyck. As he was wandering through the woods, he was thinking about how long it had been since he saw his friends when he felt something move at the edge of his En.

 

He snapped to attention, sharpening his senses so he could figure out who it was. He could tell the person was a nen user, and they had a strong aura, but it wasn’t refined. Unless some random person had wandered over here, which was unlikely, it was either Gon or Alluka. He slowly approached the moving person in his En, when suddenly they approached him quickly. A mass of green, black, and tan jumped out of the bushes and into the air, yelling excitedly. “Kurapika! Killua, Alluka, Kurapika is here!”

 

The blond was quickly engulfed in a hug, surprised with how tall his friend had gotten. He was 18 though, so it was understandable. He saw a mop of white hair come out of the trees behind Gon, as well as a person with long black hair. Gon separated so he could see Killua and the person he assumed was his sister. His assumption was correct when the young lady introduced herself.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Alluka. I have heard much about you over the years.” He offered her a small bow, which she returned. “From Kil or from our bodyguards?” She asked with a teasing smile on her face. He offered a small smile, but it soured quickly. “From Killua. The guards haven’t been saying much recently.” He looked around them, seeing if he could sense the guards in the nearby vicinity. He couldn’t, which made him hope that they were just watching from afar. He sent them each a text, telling them to come out and to approach.

 

While he waited, Killua and Gon took him to the little clearing they were camping out in. It was a small area that he had walked past the last time he was here, which made Kurapika wonder if he was getting rusty. Aside from the few footprints, he really couldn’t tell there was anyone else nearby. He was distracted from this line of thought when Gon asked him if he was hungry. He politely declined, taking a seat by the fire the trio had put together. Alluka brought him some tea, making him smile a little. “Thank you, Alluka.”  
  
Gon plopped onto the ground near Kurapika with some food he had grabbed from the tent, while Killua scoped around to make sure they weren’t followed. After a couple minutes he came to sit by the fire as well, apparently satisfied, but still ready to jump up at a moments notice. Kurapika knew how he felt. Killua and Gon had their fair share of encounters with the Troupe when they were younger, and they had only gotten stronger over the years. It occurred to him again that the Zoldyck siblings may not know about Kalluto.

 

“Killua, Alluka… you both are aware that Kalluto has joined the Troupe, right? And that we may need to fight him in order to rescue Leorio?” He watched Killua’s expression darken, and Alluka nod sadly. “I know that for at least a short time, during the expedition to the Dark Continent, Illumi was also part of the Troupe. Do you know if he still is or not?” Killua answered him with a shake of his head. “He’s not, he’s been chasing Hisoka down. I think that’s the only reason he hasn’t really come after us since the voyage.”

 

Kurapika nodded in understanding, drinking his tea quietly. He heard movement in the bushes to his left and right, focusing his En again. He relaxed when the auras were ones he recognized, and a moment later the two bodyguards stepped out into the clearing. Killua’s had the decency to at least look a little guilty, whereas Gon’s just stood there stone-faced.

 

Kurapika stood and went to the hired guards, pulling them away far enough that his friends wouldn’t hear them, but he could still see them. “Is there a reason your reports have been lacking? I thought I made myself very clear about the importance of this job, and neither of you are taking me seriously.” When they were silent, he started to get angrier, but he kept his cool. “Well? I hope you are smart enough to realize that I can keep you from ever getting work as a bodyguard again. Start talking.”

 

He listened as they tried to explain what had been happening, but it was clear that they were making excuses. He felt his anger start to get the better of him. After another excuse, he grabbed the front of the closest one’s shirt, which ended up being Gon’s guard, pulling him eye level. “I hope you realize how idiotic you two sound making all these excuses. We are dealing with the Phantom Troupe. If you don’t shape up, then you two will be on your way to Ochima tomorrow. Now get back to your positions, and I expect bi-hourly reports on the surroundings from both of you. With immediate reports of anything suspicious” He released the man’s shirt once he was certain they got the idea, and the two bodyguards immediately returned to their spots. Once Kurapika got his breathing under control, he returned to his friends.

 

As soon as he sat down, he could tell the trio had heard him at the end, but even Gon knew better than to say anything. It was tense for a while, but conversation did start to lilt between the four of them again. Kurapika focused on tending to the fire, not really talking much. As afternoon turned more and more into evening, Killua turned his full attention to Kurapika. “So, what is the plan Kurapika? You said you would tell us when you got here.” This brought Gon and Alluka’s attention to him as well, and he looked each of them in the eye, resting on Gon’s a bit longer before he brought his eyes to the fire.

 

“You’re not going to like it. I know you’re going to argue. But it’s the only way that we can quickly, and safely, get Leorio out of there with minimal injuries.” He was silent for a moment, waiting for someone to say something. When no one did, he continued, quieter this time. “I’m going to go with whoever meets me and demand they take me captive and release Leorio. I need you guys to get Leorio out of there.” As he expected, Gon was protesting the idea.

“That’s too dangerous Kurapika. What’s the point of this if we just give up one friend for another!? Nothing! If we do that, then we’re still going to need to go and save you! We need a different plan, one that doesn’t involve you getting captured!” Gon had stood up during this, trying to get his point across. Kurapika refused to look at him as he angrily responded.

 

“Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? I can’t just do the same thing we did last time. We don’t know where their base is, we don’t know how many there are, and they’re going to be on guard. There’s no way I would be able to capture one of them like before, so the only bargaining chip we have is me. I refuse to let any of you get captured, and they’re going after you guys _because_ of me. I can get myself out of there, but you three are going to need to convince Leorio to leave me behind!” His voice hitched slightly when he said their taller friend’s name, quickly shutting up.

 

Gon started to speak again, but Killua cut him off. “Gon, shut up for a moment.” After a whine from Gon, he did as he was told, but he started pacing a few feet away. Kurapika looked up at Killua, only to see that he was being scrutinized by dual pairs of blue eyes. He was startled by the intensity behind their gazes. “What?”

 

Alluka spoke quietly, Killua’s gaze turning to his sister. “You’re hiding something from us. What happened when you were with the Troupe last?” Kurapika felt his heart stutter, and his words came out more rushed than he would have liked. “Nothing happened. I was captured, and I escaped a week later.” Her eyes didn’t leave him however, and he carefully schooled his features to a neutral look. Killua spoke next. “But what happened while you were captured? You’re on edge, more so than you usually are when it comes to the Spiders. Did one of them hurt you?”

 

Neither sibling missed the slight involuntary flinch from the blond. As Killua was about to speak again, Alluka gasped in horror, and all eyes turned to her unfocused ones. Killua went to his sister’s side in an instant. “Alluka, did Nanika tell you something?” When tears started welling in the girl’s eyes, Killua asked again. Alluka’s eyes turned into a hazy black, and Kurapika guessed that this was Nanika taking over Alluka’s consciousness. Her answer chilled Kurapika to his core, and he cursed whatever gods were punishing him.

 

“The Spider leader raped him.”

 

* * *

 

Kurapika had fled from the campsite after Nanika told Gon and Killua what happened, ignoring the calls of his name into the darkness. He didn’t want to see the looks, hear the pity. He didn’t want to be anywhere near them right now. Or ever. He had found a tall tree about 200 yards away from where the others were camping. He climbed to the top and hid in the leaves, glad his blue tabard would help hide him in the falling night. As an extra precaution, he activated his Zetsu. He figured (more hoped) that if they did try to find him, they wouldn’t be looking up. He checked his phone when it buzzed with an update, one of the guards saying he saw Gon go past him, and he was following him. Looks like they were finally taking their job seriously.

After a few minutes, he heard footsteps approaching the tree he was in at a rapid pace, and he remembered too late that Gon’s sense of smell was better than even most animals. He hoped his Zetsu would hold up. He listened to the footsteps approach the tree, holding his breath when they stopped. He only relaxed when he heard the steps turn and walk back towards camp. Kurapika quickly started moving again, going about 50 yards north of that tree. He found a little cave that he hid in. As he settled into the dark, he was reminded of the Hunter Exam, when they were trapped with the snake charmer and Ponzu.

 

He shook the nostalgia away when he got a text stating Gon had returned to the campsite, and that Killua had left this time, in the same direction Gon had come from. He was glad he moved; he didn’t know why Gon decided to have Killua go after him, but he knew that Killua would have a slightly harder time finding him. He put his phone on vibrate and started thinking over what to do next. Senritsu was going to show up in two days. She was the only person that he would have help. She could easily get Leorio to leave. He just hoped Gon and Killua wouldn’t try to go after the Troupe themselves.

 

“Damnit… this is why I didn’t want them to come out here to begin with…” He rested his head against the rock wall behind him, closing his eyes. There was no way he could sleep, but he could at least meditate. Hopefully, he would be able to push away the images that kept popping into his mind from that week he spent with Chrollo. With a shuddery breath, he focused on clearing his mind, falling into a meditative state after a while.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it was darker outside than it was before he went into the cave. He was trying to figure out what brought him out of his mind when he saw a blue light coming from the entrance to the cave. He kept his breathing calm while the light approached. The hair on his hands stood on end, and he realized the light was pure electricity. He cursed quietly; Killua had found him. Once Killua was about 15 feet away from him, his aura relaxed into a regular one, the cave fading into darkness once again. His eyes adjusted to in quickly, but not before Killua had sat next to him, close enough he could easily feel his body heat against his side.

 

“I’m sorry Kurapika.”

 

Kurapika felt his anger start to bubble. “I don’t need your pity Killua. There was a reason I didn’t want to tell you guys what happened. I knew this would-” Killua cut him off with an elbow jabbing into his side. “Shut up would you? I’m not pitying you. Neither is Gon, or Alluka, or Nanika. We know that would just make you angry.” Kurapika was still bristling, but there was a pinching pain in his ribs where Killua had hit him that he was trying to ignore.

 

“Then why are you apologizing?” He said testily, not looking at his white-haired friend. He heard Killua sigh. “Because of what I said earlier. On the phone. It was fucked up, and I’m sorry.”

 

Kurapika tried to remember what he was talking about, and it hit him like a flash. _‘Maybe you need to finally get laid…’_ He relaxed a little, keeping his gaze on the ground. “You don’t need to apologize Killua. You didn’t know. In fact, I was trying to keep you all from knowing, if you hadn’t noticed…” He brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the sound of crickets echoing into the cave, and their quiet breathing.

 

Eventually, Killua stood, stretching. “I’m going to grab Gon and Alluka. This is a better hiding spot than that clearing. You coming?” Kurapika told him no, and Killua left without arguing. Kurapika went to stand up to stretch his muscles, but another sharp pain in his ribs caused him to stop with a gasp, his hand coming up to press into the muscles there. It felt like there was a bruise there, much larger than what Killua’s quick jab would have done to him. It was starting to hurt to breath, so he took the blue part of his tabard off, leaving him in his white training garments. He unwrapped his sash from around his waist and gingerly removed his top, leaving him in his black binder.

 

He felt along his side again, the pain in his ribs causing his breathing to hitch. It felt like there was liquid in his throat however, causing him to cough. The cough got worse, which only caused his torso to hurt more. He coughed into his sleeve, liquid coming out of his mouth. He recognized the metallic taste, quickly pulling out his phone and turning on his flashlight. Once his eyes adjusted to the sudden light, he turned the camera to his sleeve and saw blood speckling it. He tried to remember if he got hurt, his breathing coming in short puffs. When nothing came to mind, he racked his brain for an answer, and it came to him like he was slapped in the face.

 

His binder. How long had he been wearing his binder? He tried to remember what time it was when he put it on last. He had put it on right before he left to come here. That was m 6 am. He checked his phone’s clock. It was just about 11 pm. That was 17 hours, give or take a few minutes. He had worn his binder for 20 hours before with his ribs only getting sore. Then it dawned on him. 6 am, yesterday morning. That was 41 hours. Not only had he been wearing his binder for almost 2 days, he had slept in it, and done a decent amount of physical activity in it. He needed to take it off as soon as possible.

 

Kurapika glanced at the way to the entrance of the cave, his thoughts whirling. Killua had left a while ago. He could be back with the others any minute now. Dare he risk taking his binder off? It was dark, so they wouldn’t see anything at first unless they were using the lights on their phones, or Killua’s nen. But knowing them, Gon would just come running into the cave. It was starting to hurt more, and while he was going to heal himself after, he didn’t want to risk his friends asking questions. Gritting his teeth, he decided to change as quickly as possible. He began taking off his binder as fast as his ribs would allow. When the garment was around his head, he heard voices and footsteps echo into the cave, and his heart stuttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I am becoming Togashi with these hiatus'. I am so sorry this chapter took so long to get out. My writing muse had left me in the dust for a while, but I quickly finished this chapter up yesterday, and I already am almost done with the next chapter. I'll try to get as many chapters done as I can before the next muse break. Thank you everyone who has stuck with this fic. I appreciate all of you.


	13. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 5: Everything's Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is finally out on the table, and another character shows up.

_He began taking off his binder as fast as his ribs would allow. When the garment was around his head, he heard voices and footsteps echo into the cave, and his heart stuttered._

 

Kurapika took his binder off the rest of the way quickly despite the searing pain, a bout of coughs forcing their way out of his throat. The footsteps were in the cave now, and he heard Gon call his name. He was out of time. He turned his back to the entrance, snatching his shirt from the ground and covering his chest just as a light hit the stone wall next to him, panning over to him. He heard exclamations of surprise, 3 sets of footsteps approaching him, 2 quicker than the other. Kurapika jolted when he felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back to see if he was okay. He jerked out of the person’s grasp, aggravating his injury even more.

 

There were voices all around, though no words he could distinguish through the pain he couldn’t ignore. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a face with long black hair looking over his shoulder at him, and he tried to curl forward to hide, but he knew it was too late. She saw. He cursed his bad luck. He felt Alluka stand up next to him, and he shut his eyes tight preparing for the worst. He vaguely heard her ask Gon for his jacket, and after a moment a warm article of clothing was draped over his back, almost completely covering him up. He didn’t realize what was happening until he heard Alluka telling Gon and Killua to turn around and turn off their lights.

 

When the cave was dark once more, he took the opportunity to pull his shirt on, tying the bottom with the sash once more. He opened his eyes, and there was a faint red glow on the wall. He didn't try to calm himself down, not at all in the right mental state to do so. Kurapika turned his head enough to tell them he was dressed. They turned their flashlights on a few seconds later, but they didn't say anything even after they turned around. Kurapika summoned his Holy Chain, activated Emperor Time, and healed himself, not meeting his friends’ eyes. He then stuffed his binder into the small rucksack be had brought with him.

 

When the silence continued, Kurapika looked up. “Well? Are you going to say something? I know you figured it out…” The first one to respond was Alluka, which surprised him. She sat down next to him, a bright smile on her face. “So, are you transgender Kurapika? Or something else?” He was further taken aback by this. Was she okay with this? “I...I’m transgender…” It still felt weird to say out loud, seeing as he had been hiding it for so long. She nodded and begin asking him more personal questions about his transition. He was still in shock from the whole situation, so he didn’t answer her questions immediately. Kurapika looked at the other two people in the cave, who seemed to be ignoring the two. They had actually started building a fire.

 

He felt a pang in his chest. _‘Guess Leorio was wrong. They aren’t taking it well.’_ He felt a heaviness settle over him, so he stood up to leave, but was stopped by Alluka putting a hand over his, which startled him into looking at her again. She spoke quietly, glancing at the other boys. “Don’t worry about them Kurapika. They’re probably just shocked is all. I’ve known I was a girl since I was a little kid, and Killua was the only one who ever accepted me. All my other siblings still call me their brother. And Gon is Gon, there’s no way he would ever not be your friend!”

 

Kurapika wasn’t sure what thought shocked him more -- that Alluka was also transgender, or that Leorio was right about their friends. He decided to go with the former since Killua and Gon had yet to say anything to him. He appreciated what Alluka was saying. “I didn’t know you were transgender Alluka. You said you’ve known since you were young?” She nodded, and they talked for a while about various things, Killua and Gon keeping to themselves. It was still hurting Kurapika that his friends weren’t talking to him yet, but he was actually enjoying Alluka’s company. He had never met anyone else who was gender variant, and from what he picked up, neither had Alluka. She seemed so happy talking to him, and he, in turn, had a small smile curving his lips.

 

It wasn’t until Alluka had gone to bed that the younger males actually said anything to him. Gon had spoken first, exclaiming his surprise at finding out Kurapika’s secret. There were several things Gon had said that Kurapika knew he meant well with, but it still made his stomach turn and his chest tighten. A couple of times Killua had to cut him off, which Kurapika was grateful for. Killua seemed to brush it off like it was nothing. “It’s not like it changes anything dude. I’m actually kind of glad though -- Alluka has never really had anyone to talk to about this stuff. I listen, but it’s different when you don’t experience it yourself. Sympathy versus empathy really.”

 

Kurapika agreed, joining them by the fire. They didn’t talk about anything in particular, sitting in silence. Gon turned in first, setting up his sleeping bag near Alluka’s, and setting up Killua’s while he was at it. Killua spoke up once it was obvious Gon was asleep, though he kept his tone low so as not to disturb the sleeping pair. “Gon doesn’t like your plan Kurapika. None of us do. I’m sure if one of us was switched with Leorio, he would be saying the same thing, only louder than me.”

 

The blonde looked into the fire, thinking about Killua’s words. “I know, but it’s the best option. Chrollo wants me, he’s trying to get to me by going after you guys. The quickest way to get him back is to give myself to Chrollo…” He suppressed a shudder, but Killua noticed it anyway. He heard his white-haired friend sigh softly. “You know Kurapika… I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life. I know how difficult it is. So while we may not have the same experiences, I know you’re hurting. And if you want to talk about what you’ve gone through, I’ll be there, no questions asked. Gon would be too. We’re your friends, we’re here to carry each other’s emotional baggage.”

 

Despite the tension Kurapika felt, he let out a bitter laugh. “You sound a lot like Leorio right now, I hope you realize that. When he found out what happened, he said almost the same thing…” He felt a sudden change in Killua’s aura, enough so that Kurapika looked up in surprise. His surprise was nothing compared to the shock and disbelief on his friend’s face. He was about to question the mood change when in a split second Killua was in his face, causing Kurapika to summon his chains in self-defense.

 

“You mean Leorio already knows what happened to you?! Do you really think he’s going to let you trade yourself over for him? He’s going to literally throw himself at their feet to keep them from taking you again, even if it kills him!” Kurapika could tell the other was barely managing to not yell at him. He curled his hands into fists, glaring challengingly at Killua. “There’s a reason I said I will need you guys to get him out of there. I am fully aware that he will put up a fight. I’ve also asked Senritsu for help; she will be here in the morning.” He could tell Killua was angry with him, but he didn’t care. He stood up, forcing Killua to take a step back.

 

“I’m going to keep watch at the mouth of the cave. Get some sleep Killua.” As he started to walk away, he heard the other groan in frustration, but he didn’t say anything. Kurapika found a small alcove in the wall of the cave that he hid in, activating his En to its maximum area. He settled into a meditative pose, letting his mind clear so he could focus on his nen.

 

* * *

 

When Senritsu arrived, it was a rather quiet reunion. She and Alluka were introduced to each other, and she talked to both of the boys for a while. Kurapika told her the plan, and she was rather against the idea, arguing with him for several minutes. She eventually relented, regretfully conceding to his reasoning. After that, they all worked on hammering out details. Gon and Alluka demonstrated both of their nen capabilities, far surpassing what level Kurapika had suspected them to be at already. They were both at about the same level as Gon and Killua had been at shortly into their training with Bisky, though Gon wasn’t able to use his Jajanken yet. The boys suspected he wasn’t going to be able to for a while, if ever. Alluka, being a Zoldyck, naturally ended up being a manipulator; the problem was she didn’t like the idea of manipulating people, as she only associated it with Illumi. She and Killua had been working on possible Hatsu abilites, but they hadn’t made it very far yet.

 

In return, Kurapika offered up any and all information he had on the Troupe: who he knew to be alive, who was dead, nen abilities that he had discovered over the years, and all known recent activity. While he was hoping the exchange would go smoothly, there was always a possibility of things going south, and he wanted them to be well armed. Eventually, a topic he had been trying to avoid was broached. “Do you think you're gonna be able to defeat them? It sounds like they’ve gotten a lot stronger.”

 

Kurapika looked at the ground, not trusting himself to keep his emotions in check. With a deep breath, he lied through his teeth. “Yes. The limbs will be easy, so long as I can get them alone. Chrollo is going to be more difficult, but I expect that. He’s their leader for a reason.” He sounded convincing to his own ears, but he knew that Senritsu would easily be able to read the lie. He just hoped that she wouldn’t say anything. Luckily she didn't, and he felt relief trickle across his skin. This relief was dashed quickly when Killua spoke up.

 

“I’m going to be blunt right now Kurapika. It’s going to be worse this time. Once Chrollo has you captured again, he’s gonna do way worse to you than what happened last time. You know it. There’s no way you could have fooled yourself otherwise. We can still change this stupid plan of yours, but you keep running away from us.” Kurapika laced his fingers together, squeezing his hands tightly as thoughts of how easily he had been overpowered the last time flooded his mind. He felt bile start to come up his throat, and it took all his willpower to not throw up. He snapped angrily at Killua. “Of course I have realized that Killua. I _have_ been thinking about this a lot longer than any of you have. I was the one who went through it, remember?” He felt his stomach lurch, and he was really regretting eating breakfast earlier. “I have already told you everything, so this conversation is over. We are not changing the plan, and that is final.”

 

He stood up, feeling nausea wash over him. “I-I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in an hour.” With that, he left, and no one tried to stop him.

 

* * *

 

Kurapika made it about 5 minutes before his breakfast was on the dirt; he wretched a few times, his skin clammy, hands trembling, and his heart racing. He kicked some dirt over the evidence of his sickness, then wandered a few feet before nearly collapsing against a tree. He sank to the ground, his fingers tangling into his hair; he felt himself start to hyperventilate, and before he realized it, there were tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping into his lap. He tried to ground himself, like what he and Leorio had done over the phone, but his mind kept mashing Killua’s words with his memories, causing worse and worse scenarios to play in his head.

 

It took a long time, but he eventually calmed back down, his head pounding from crying, and his stomach turning from lack of food. He was certain he looked like shit, but it had to have been more than an hour since he left the cave; the others were bound to come looking for him soon. So, despite the fatigue he felt, he shakily stood and started making his way back towards the cave. On his way back, he ran into Senritsu, who was looking for him. She didn’t look particularly worried, but she didn’t look happy either. “How do you feel about walking a bit more Kurapika? I was going to go on one myself, and I would like some company.”

 

Kurapika hesitated for a moment; all he wanted to do was lie down, but he agreed, turning to follow her as she started walking again. She was quiet for a while, but he suspected it wouldn’t last much longer. He could easily tell she had something to say, and he was proven correct a few moments later.

 

“I’m sorry he was acting that way, but he’s worried about you Kurapika. I’ve heard a lot of heartbeats in my life, but there was a cacophony of anger and sadness coming from Killua and Gon, with a rather large amount of desperation thrown into it. Yours is no better… the amount of strain you’re putting on yourself is startling… your heart is bound to give out soon from it.” He knew what she said was the truth, but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it. He couldn’t be mad at her though -- she knew better than anyone how much what had happened had been affecting him. “And while you had every right to end the conversation when you did, you also proved his point about running away. I know it’s difficult for you to let people in Kurapika, but we’ve all gotten in already; you don’t need to run from us. You’re allowed to let us support you.”

 

“I know Senritsu… it’s just… I've already put you all in so much danger, and Leorio is probably going through heaven knows what right now-” his voice wavered, and he felt himself start to get choked up. “I-if I hadn’t left, then he would still be safe, and y-you and Gon, and Killua and Allu-Alluka wouldn’t be in danger-! If I hadn’t come up with that stupid plan then none of this would have happened-” He could practically hear Leorio scolding him, his throat constricting painfully. Words still tumbled out of him though.

 

“It would have been better for everyone if I hadn’t left my village to begin with!” He gasped out; he was beginning to hyperventilate again. A moment later a sweet tune began to sound next to him, the music piercing through his panic-induced haze all the way to his heart and numbing his nerves. Senritsu played until Kurapika calmed down, with a small hiccup in his breathing being the only evidence of his near anxiety attack. Once he got his voice back, he thanked her quietly.

 

“It’s no problem Kurapika. Shall we head back to camp? Our walk has lasted long enough.” He easily agreed, both of them turning back towards the cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I finally got this chapter out. I am so sorry about the wait guys. There was a scene in this that I was having a hell of a time trying to write. But I got it done! I have an outline of the next chapter worked out, so it shouldn't take as long.


	14. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 6: The Collection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika is collected once again by the Troupe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! To get to the point here, there is smut at the end of this chapter, just so you know! If you don't want to read, it isn't very plot important, aside from the fact that it happened. Love you guys!

_“It’s no problem Kurapika. Shall we head back to camp? Our walk has lasted long enough.” He easily agreed, both of them turning back towards the cave._

 

The next morning came too early in Kurapika's opinion. His friends had already hidden by the time he had gotten up, as per his demand. He dressed in his usual tabard, but didn’t put his binder on; even though he was healed, he didn’t want to push it too much. He had to trust that everyone was in position as he made his way to the meeting point. He let himself relax, not wanting to worry about things going wrong. For once, he just wanted things to go completely according to plan.

 

When he got to the spot, he was on high alert, looking for any shift in the area. It felt like time was dragging on forever, as if it had been hours since he got there, but it had only been mere minutes. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, so he pulled it out to check it. It was a text from Senritsu saying that there was someone coming, just one, and their footsteps were very quiet, almost as silent as Killua’s. He didn’t bother responding, pocketing his phone again. _Kalluto then. That’s surprising._

 

He wasn’t sure which direction he was coming from, and if he was moving silently, then he wouldn’t be able to tell until he was within range of Kurapika’s En. He focused on his breathing, standing still, and extending his En as far as he could. Within a minute he felt someone at the edge of his range; he snapped to attention, turning in that direction. Another minute passed before Kalluto was standing before him, his fan out. He was still wearing kimonos with his hair cropped into an uneven bob. The only thing that had really changed was his face -- he still had baby fat, much like Killua, but it was clear that the make-up was the only reason he still looked like a girl.

 

As much as he wanted to, Kurapika didn’t have his chains out; he had already said he was going to go peacefully. Without a word Kurapika stepped forward, holding his hands out. He knew that they wouldn’t just send one person unless they could restrain him, and if he obeyed, they were much more likely to release Leorio. His speculations were correct; a moment after his wrists went out, Kalluto waved his fan, and something wrapped tightly around his wrists and hands, keeping him from uncurling his hands. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was paper that was strengthened with Shu.

 

He looked back up, and with a small gesture, Kurapika was following Kalluto quietly through the forest.

 

* * *

 

They walked for about three hours before they came to a small town, where a car picked them up. Kurapika didn’t recognize the driver, but when he noticed the legs of a tattoo peeking out from her shirt at both her neck and bicep, he realized this had to be someone who had been brought into the Troupe. He scanned her up and down: she was fairly short, with wavy blue hair tied back and draped over her shoulder. She also appeared to be very thin, but not unhealthily so -- in fact, he could easily see the muscles in her frame. Her aura was very compact and dark at the moment, which indicated she was either a manipulator or an emitter, if he remembered what Furykov told him correctly.

 

“So this is the chain-user? Kurapika right? She doesn’t seem very threatening. How many Spiders has she killed again?” He flinched slightly at the misgendering, glaring at his lap. _Guess Chrollo told them all then._ This thought was countered when Kalluto responded. “He’s killed two of us, though it was before I joined the Troupe. Why are you calling him she?” He could feel Kalluto looking at him, but he kept his eyes away. “Just because she dresses and acts like a boy doesn’t mean she is a boy. Just like you aren’t a girl Kalluto.” Kalluto was silent after that, and Kurapika glanced at him. He looked a bit despondent, but he didn’t deny it.

 

He debated asking about it, but then he remembered that both of these people were Spiders, so he stayed silent. Besides, clearly this person didn’t believe that someone’s gender could differ from their body.

 

They drove for about an hour, with the only sound coming from the static-filled radio that the driver had on. He was a bit worried that his friends wouldn’t be able to follow them in the car, but they hadn’t taken any crazy turns, just followed the road, so he was certain they would be able to follow. Though with Gon’s senses, they would probably be fine regardless.

 

By the time they reached their apparent destination, Kurapika was dozing off out of boredom. The sounds of the car engine turning off and the driver loudly getting out of the car woke him up though, and soon he was on full alert again, following Kalluto out of the car. He followed the other two into what appeared to be an abandoned mansion some rich person probably died in. He looked around a bit, seeing a few Troupe members appear from some of the doorways that lead off from the foyer. Despite his best efforts however, when Kalluto kept going, taking him upstairs to where he was certain their Leader was, he felt dread settle over him like a heavy comforter.

 

His captor lead him down a hall, knocking lightly on the farthest door. A very well known voice beckoned them in, and Kalluto opened the door to reveal Chrollo in what appeared to be a grand study. Kurapika’s eyes fell to Chrollo’s face, and their eyes met. In that second his heart jumped into his throat, and his nausea slammed into him again. He broke the contact, looking to the side as he was brought into the room. He felt his binds unwind from his hands, and in a moment Kalluto was gone, the door locking behind him.

 

Kurapika refused to make eye contact again, even as he heard Chrollo stand and approach him. His anger finally started to surface, and soon it was battling with his anxiety. Soon the other was standing in front of him, and all he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest. A hand was brought to his face, gently tilting Kurapika’s chin up so their eyes met again. An arm snaked around him, pulling him flush against Chrollo’s body, and the hand on his face held him there as Chrollo’s lips connected to his. When he tried to struggle, he was held tighter, preventing him from leaving. Any and all contact was being controlled by the other.

 

The kiss lasted a few more seconds, Chrollo speaking once it ended. “It’s been a while Kurapika. I missed this.” His words were punctuated by hands suddenly traveling along the blonde’s body, caressing him in far too familiar ways. He felt disgust rise, and Kurapika nearly spat at him in response. He parted his lips to respond, but Chrollo cut him off. “I was very upset when you left last time. I warned you what would happen if you left, and you didn’t listen. Be glad you were smart enough to meet with me. Otherwise, I would have had to resort to drastic measures.” The Troupe leader started kissing along his neck, but Kurapika tried not to let it phase him.

 

“Let Leorio leave and I will do whatever you ask.” He was only slightly pleased his voice didn’t shake, but that was short lived. Chrollo lifted his head again to look at Kurapika. “Anything I want? Somehow I feel like you wouldn’t actually adhere to that. How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Kurapika turned his eyes red, summoning his chains. “I will put a dagger in me.” Judgment Chain extended in preparation. He had figured that Chrollo would ask something like this, so while he didn’t want to resign himself to being the other’s slave, if it meant that he would leave his friends alone, he would do it.

 

What he wasn’t expecting was for Chrollo to laugh at him. It was a bizarre sound to hear, one that caused Kurapika to look at him incredulously. “I don’t think you’re actually willing to make a deal like that. You hate me too much for it, but I like your resolve Kurapika.” Suddenly he was serious again, and it slightly unnerved the blonde. “That would put a damper in my later plans, so I would rather you not do that. However,” he felt Chrollo start to pull him towards the desk, and his heart rate shot through the roof. “If you show me you’re willing to behave, then I will happily let your friends go.”

 

Kurapika looked at him with alarm. _Friends?_ He started to ask what he meant, but he was cut off as Chrollo kissed him again, a tongue sliding into his mouth. He felt a hand cup his ass and squeeze; the other started to take the top part of his tabard off. As soon as it was off, the bottom portion quickly followed, leaving him in his training clothes. He was then lifted and the pair turned, Chrollo setting him on the desk. The sloppy kiss ended, leaving Kurapika panting slightly with a reddened complexion.

 

Cool hands slid under his shirt and up his torso, leaving goosebumps across his skin. His heart skipped a beat, and he automatically grabbed his wrists to stop him, pushing his hands away from him. He heard the older man tut in disappointment; when Kurapika looked up though, the other was sporting a smirk. “What happened to behaving? That means no fighting back.”

 

The blonde grit his teeth and let go, gripping the edge of the desk tightly to avoid doing anything else. He tried to think of anything else besides what was happening right then, but then his shirt was over his head, joining the increasing pile of clothing on the floor. He bit the inside of his cheek, closing his eyes tightly; he could feel slight tremors of fear and anger make their way through his body. Thumbs brushed across his nipples, and he barely avoided jumping from it. He felt it again, this time with an accompanying squeeze to both of his breasts.

 

Kurapika felt his nerves tingle and his chest tighten, his breathing coming with more difficulty. Chrollo continued his actions, starting to pinch and twist his nipples while kissing his neck. He felt another tremor course through him, and soon there were quiet whimpers joining the sound of the two of them breathing. He felt his body tense, and this time he actually jumped when he felt warm wetness slide across a nipple. Kurapika bit his cheek harder, but when Chrollo sucked on one and almost violently twisted the other, he moaned and arched his back towards the man.

 

He covered his mouth with a hand, wincing and whimpering again when he was bitten. He kept his gaze away from his enemy, trying to fight the tears that were already threatening to escape. He felt the other switch sides, and a small moan reverberated against his hand at the contact. The man stopped soon after -- Kurapika then felt fingers hook into the waistband on his sweats and boxers, pulling both off after a moment. He was completely bare, a sight that Chrollo was taking in appreciatively. He felt his skin flush, his eyes looking away again quickly. He heard movement, then he felt hands on his thighs, massaging teasingly -- he tried to get away, but he was only held tighter.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chrollo starting to undress; Kurapika’s throat closed up, and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. He focused on not throwing up, both hands clamped over his mouth with his eyes shut. Then his legs were spread, fingers making their way to his core. There was only a moment of hesitation before the fingers started caressing him, the thumb grazing his clit. It was done again, but harder, and Kurapika felt his legs jolt from pleasure.

 

Within minutes he was barely able to keep from moaning and moving his hips; Chrollo had his fingers inside of him, thrusting at a quick pace. Kurapika had leaned back so he was laying on the desk, his legs spread willingly. The fingers were removed from him, and he was pulled forward a bit, the edge of the desk now digging into his lower back. His thighs were gripped and his legs lifted out of the way. He then felt something he, unfortunately, knew very well press against him, barely resisting crying out in pain as Chrollo pushed inside of him, sheathing himself.


	15. [Rescue Arc] Chapter 7: The Trade Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrollo releases Kurapika's friends.

_His thighs were gripped and his legs lifted out of the way. He then felt something he, unfortunately, knew very well press against him, barely resisting crying out in pain as Chrollo pushed inside of him, sheathing himself._

 

It had been about an hour since Chrollo had left Kurapika naked and disgusted with himself in the office, and all he had really done was put his training clothes on and throw up in the trash can. He was sitting in the swivel chair that was in the room, but he had moved it away from the desk, now in the corner. He had no idea where Chrollo had gone, but he could only hope that it was to release his friends.

 

His thoughts swirled in his mind, ranging from worry, to hatred, to self-loathing, then back to worry, with a large amount of anxiety and numbness mixed in. He wanted to check to make sure Chrollo kept good on his word, but he wasn’t sure how long the other wanted him to ‘behave’ in order to let them go. So despite his steadily increasing nerves to know what was going on, he didn’t move from his spot.

 

On top of all this, he was incredibly sore; the Troupe leader already knew what his body could handle, so he had been rough with him, leaving bruises despite him being compliant. There was also a pulsing pressure resonating from a place he didn’t want to think about, making it hard to keep his legs closed. His hips ached from his legs being bent at angles he didn’t naturally keep them in, and his back and head hurt from the hard wood of the desk. He had done what he could to heal himself, but he wasn’t at his strongest at the moment (from self-inflicted malnutrition and lack of sleep,) so it didn’t do much.

 

Kurapika felt another wave of nausea slam into him, and in a moment he was back at the trashcan, heaving what little contents his stomach contained along with acid into the already gross container. It was during this that he heard the door to the office open, and a quiet exclamation of surprise from the man he despised. Footsteps sounded, and soon after he was gently pulled from the ground, the back of a hand pressed against his forehead. As it had been the last times he had thrown up, he felt fine again as soon as he was done, aside from being a little light headed from dehydration -- he slapped Chrollo’s hand away without really thinking, glaring at him as well as he could. “Did you let them go?”

 

Chrollo held a neutral expression, not answering immediately. He seemed to be studying Kurapika, and it made his nerves spike again. He demanded an answer, grabbing the front of the Troupe leader’s shirt in a fist. Finally, the man cracked a little smile, closing his eyes briefly. “I was actually coming to get you so you see them off. You did do very well earlier -- you earned it.” He felt bile rise again, though this time it was from disgust. He let go of the other’s shirt, his hand dropping and clenching into a fist.

 

“Fine, let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

 

He and Chrollo walked to the front door of the manor, Kurapika in front of the taller man. The door was already open when they got to it, so he could see people standing outside. Chrollo had him stop just inside the doorway, looking out. His eyes quickly scanned the sight in front of him: Nobunaga and Franklin were standing on either side of a restrained Leorio, who looked bruised and tired, but otherwise appeared to be fine. He felt some tension leave him in relief, and he barely kept himself from crying. The trio was currently faced away from them, so Leorio didn’t notice he was there, which he supposed was for the better. He didn’t see the others though -- did Chrollo lie to him about them being captured as well?

 

He felt anger twist his insides; of course Chrollo lied! Why did he believe him? _‘That bastard.’_ Kurapika turned his head towards said man. “Where are the others?” he asked quietly, his anger barely contained. Instead of answering him though, the Troupe leader just gestured ahead of them, which made Kurapika look forward again.

 

Down the road, he could see eight people walking towards the house -- Machi had Killua, Gon, Senritsu, and Alluka restrained, with Feitan, Phinks, and Kalluto surrounding them. Gon and Killua held determined straight faces, but he could tell Alluka was distraught; if it was from the situation or Kalluto, he wasn’t sure. Senritsu had an unreadable expression on her face, which worried him a bit. It seemed like they might have recently been captured because, aside from looking a bit scuffed up, no one was hurt.

 

He met Senritsu’s gaze when she looked up, but she didn’t visibly react -- Gon and Alluka did though. He heard them call out his name, which caused Leorio to look where they were looking and see him. Kurapika heard Leorio shout his name and begin struggling against his bonds; he saw Nobunaga jab his side with the butt of his sword and Leorio grunt in pain, but he didn’t stop struggling. The Kurta felt numbness wash away his anger as Chrollo stepped into the sunlight next to him, his arm circling his waist and pulling him flush against his side for all of his friends to see; he heard Gon and Leorio yelling for him as he was brought back inside the mansion, but he didn’t really register it. All he could focus on was the fact that everyone was safe.

 

He was brought upstairs again, this time to a bedroom with a window facing the front yard. Chrollo pulled a chair to the window, sat down, and pulled Kurapika into his lap, hands slowly roaming the blonde’s body. He ignored it, for the most part, staring out the window. He saw Senritsu putting away her flute, everyone looking a lot calmer around her. He watched as they all got into a bigger car than the one he had been brought here in, watched as Kalluto got in the driver’s seat, taking the car in the opposite direction of the house. He watched all of this in silence even as Chrollo undressed him again, a hand slipping into the front of his pants and between his legs.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Everyone was silent as they were brought back to where Killua and the other’s had been camping, even Leorio, who was clearly angry and distraught. He was clenching and unclenching his hands, and would glance at the others, then look back outside. Gon was brooding, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Alluka looked like she was on the verge of tears, probably the most visually upset about seeing Kurapika being brought into the house by that monster. Senritsu was looking out the window calmly -- she was always a quiet person, but now it didn’t even seem like she was there. Killua had to keep glancing at her just to make sure she hadn’t disappeared somehow.

 

For Killua, despite his anger and his worry, he was trying to think of a plan to get Kurapika out of there. He knew the Kurta had resigned himself to this fate to keep them safe -- sure, there had been relief evident in Kurapika’s body language when he saw they were safe, but he was certain none of them had missed the emptiness that clouded his eyes as he was brought into the house.

 

He ran through a few options in his head, but they all relied on too many chances --  they weren’t secure enough. He needed someone on the inside who would feed them information so that he had as much to work with as he possibly could. The thought crossed his mind to just wish Kurapika out of there, but he refused to ask anything of Nanika after they had saved Gon; it was a promise he made to himself when they started traveling together. He didn’t want to feel like he was using them, even if it would be easier.

 

He glanced up at the driver, his brother. He had obviously known that Kalluto had joined the Troupe, but it was still odd to associate him with them. A thought crossed his mind, which kept his gaze on the youngest Zoldyck long enough for him to notice. “Did you need something bro-Killua?” He saw Kalluto’s face scrunch up slightly at his error, but that meant there was a possibility this could work.

 

“I was wondering why you joined the Phantom Troupe, Kall. I thought you wanted to be an assassin too, you were so good at it.” He saw his brother’s hands tighten on the steering wheel. “ _Don’t_ call me that. You lost the right when you left with _him_.” Kalluto glared at Gon in the rear-view mirror, but Gon was only half paying attention. The only one really listening to their conversation was Alluka. “I’m still your brother Kalluto, something that it seems like you aren’t allowed to call me.” Killua said his sibling’s full name pointedly, watching his pink eyes divert their gaze in the mirror.

 

“My only family is the Spider, so why would I address you as my brother?” Killua frowned, glancing at Alluka, who was also frowning. “Is that what they’ve really brainwashed you to believe? Or are you pretending to think that so that they trust you?” He easily dodged the fan that swiped at him, watching Kalluto as he visibly tried to calm down. “You don’t know anything Killua.” Kalluto took a shuddery breath, releasing it slowly. “After you left, everything turned to shit. Mother couldn’t stop crying about how you were going to become weak and not continue the family business, and was always fighting with father for him letting you go. With Illumi always away on jobs or looking for you, and Milluki always in his room, the brunt of it fell on me. Then my training got harder, and she started making me attempt things not even you could do, Mr. Perfect Child.” He nearly spat out the end of the sentence, returning his focus to the road.

 

Killua felt two emotions: sadness that Kalluto had to suffer the consequences of his decisions, and anger that he was even complaining about this. “Kalluto, I had to go through intense training my entire life. I was being poisoned and electrocuted with ten times the lethal amount by the time you were born. I was bred to be the perfect child, and I hated it. I’ve never wanted to take over the family business -- you already knew that. I’m sorry that my leaving made you have to deal with mom and dad’s bullshit, but you clearly got yourself out of there.”

 

Kalluto was silent, focusing on the road. Killua wasn’t done talking though. “You never answered my question Kalluto. Why did you join the Phantom Troupe? It doesn’t seem like much of an upgrade from our family.” His brother mulled over the question, but it didn’t seem like he was going to answer Killua. After about a minute, Killua sat back -- he could be patient. This drive was going to take a while still.

 

About an hour later, he heard Kalluto’s voice float to the back of the car, capturing Killua’s attention. “I needed to be stronger… If I kept training under mother and father, I would never be strong enough to get you back…” Killua furrowed his brows, thinking about this. “Kalluto, you know I would never come back there if I could help it.”

 

“You came back for...them.” Killua saw Kalluto looking at Alluka in the mirror, who was currently asleep against his shoulder. He put an arm protectively around her. “Yeah, because _she_ was being treated like a monster and was being kept in the basement. And… Nanika was the only hope we had of saving Gon.” Killua looked over at his friend, seeing that he had also dozed off, though he was still visibly troubled about everything. He looked over at Leorio, who was still awake, but who simply exuded an air of ‘leave me alone’.

 

“I heard about that. Even the Troupe got word of it…” Kalluto glanced at Gon in the mirror but quickly averted his eyes. “You must really care for him to run away from home, to actually wish for It to kill mother just to save Gon. You left me behind with those monsters…” Killua looked at his lap, almost feeling guilty -- he hadn’t known Kalluto wanted to leave that badly. The two of them never really spent that much time together whenever he was home because Kalluto was always by their mother’s side. “I’m sorry Kalluto. I didn’t know.”

 

“If you want, you can come with us. You can leave those assholes and travel with the three of us.” Kalluto suddenly got angry with him, glaring again. “Don’t insult them Killua -- they’ve made me stronger than I could have ever hoped for, and I am friends with some of them. They’re not as evil as you make them out to be. So they kill people, so did we! We got paid to do it too. They kill off despicable people who needed to die.”

 

“They killed an entire clan of people just to satisfy their selfish greed Kalluto. Tortured innocent women and children in front of their husbands and parents just to rake in the jenny. They killed hundreds of people after stealing billions of jennies worth of merchandise from the underground auction for the fuck of it. If that doesn’t make them evil, then I don’t know what does.”

 

“Most of the people they killed at the auction were mafiosos who dealt in a lot of illegal practices and their shitty bodyguards who helped them. The cops chose to attack, even though they knew who they were dealing with, so it was self-defense. As for the Kurta, how do you know they didn’t deserve to die? Almost nothing is known about them, and the only insider information you have is from someone who was a sheltered child who left his clan when he was still young, and has been hell-bent on revenge for over a decade now. His opinions on his clan and the Troupe are very biased.”

 

A new voice cut through their conversation. “You don’t get to say anything about Kurapika. You don’t know him at all.” Killua looked in the direction of the voice, actually feeling a little intimidated by Leorio’s anger. He wasn’t looking at any of them, staring out the window at the darkening sky, but his aura was dark and clouded. Silence fell upon the car once again, Killua not even attempting to start it again.

 

 _‘Well, that didn’t turn out as I hoped._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters within a couple days of each other. I had a couple days off, so I have been taking the time to write. I'm already zooming through the next chapter. I have a question for you guys though: should I make the next chapters a different arc? And if so, what should I name it?


	16. [Release Arc] Chapter 1: Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first week since the trade-off, and Kurapika learns something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New arc, officially in endgame here.

_“You don’t get to say anything about Kurapika. You don’t know him at all.”_

_Silence fell upon the car once again, Killua not even attempting to start it again._

_‘Well, that didn’t turn out as I hoped.’_

 

It had been about a week after the exchange, and Kurapika was having a hard time adjusting to the schedule Chrollo was trying to slot him into. He would be rudely awakened at an ungodly hour by his stomach hating him, then would be unable to sleep, so he would shower and attempt to read. The Troupe leader would bring him something to eat soon after, having been woken up by Kurapika’s retching. Then he would disappear for a while, stopping in to bring him lunch, which he would sit and make sure Kurapika ate, before leaving again. Sometime during the day, he would throw up again.

 

By nightfall, Chrollo would return from whatever he did during the day and would eat dinner with him. It was always awkward, with the both of them generally silent. Depending on what mood the Troupe leader was in, he would either bed Kurapika or would just go to sleep. The nights he went to sleep were Kurapika’s favorite so far, as he could curl up and read, pretending he wasn’t in this horrible situation. It was the most normal his life had been in years.

 

The nights Chrollo did bed him, he was always gentle, which was a drastic change from how he was the first day. He would make sure Kurapika was never in any pain, never made too fast of a pace, and as much as the Kurta hated it, Chrollo would always make sure he got off during sex. He hardly even teased him now. It was unnerving, to say the least. He didn’t understand it, and it made him anxious, wondering if and when the man would snap and not care anymore. If he were to be honest with himself, he would actually prefer that -- it made it easier to hate him.

 

But he was gentle and caring, which made Kurapika only hate himself more.

 

As day fell into evening, Chrollo showed up with dinner as per usual; tonight it was lightly seasoned roasted chicken with green beans and a soft roll. He had thrown up right after lunch, so he was feeling rather hungry. He ate his food in his usual silence, but Chrollo seemed to want to talk tonight.

 

“How are you feeling? Has the throwing up lessened?” Kurapika glanced at him wearily, then looked at his plate as he thought about how to answer. “Not really. I threw up after lunch, though it wasn’t as bad this time. I can’t wait for it to stop…” He continued eating his food. His answer seemed to satisfy Chrollo’s curiosity for now, as he was silent after. They cleaned up after, the Troupe leader taking the dishes to, he presumed, the kitchen. Kurapika sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the man to come back.

 

He abhorred the fact that he had basically turned into this obedient little sex doll. _‘Just sit back and take it’_ was the thought that always went through his mind when the intimacy started. He didn’t want the Spider head to retaliate; otherwise, this would have been all for naught. So as much as he hated this, he dealt with it. He doubted that he could hate himself more than he already did anyway. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, eventually pulling it over his head. This action left him in loosely fitted sweats and a black sports bra, both items that Chrollo had brought him the first morning he was here.

 

The door was opening again soon after, his captor stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. If he was at all surprised by Kurapika’s state of partial undress, he didn’t show it. He approached the bed, starting to take off his own clothes. When he got to the blonde, Kurapika watched him reach a hand out to tilt his chin up, and soon after, their lips connected. He was carefully laid back on the bed, as per usual, and Chrollo was over him, propping himself up with one hand, the other caressing Kurapika’s side.

 

Everything progressed as it usually did, until the only thing he was left in was his sports bra. He was a bit confused, as that was one of the first things that usually went in the beginning. In fact, Chrollo had been avoiding his breasts altogether for this encounter, which was an area Chrollo loved to toy with, much to Kurapika’s dismay. Another thing of note was that the other seemed to be paying extra attention to his stomach today. It made him feel weird, and he just wanted the Troupe leader to get on with it.

 

He wiggled a bit, his ever so subtle plea to continue -- something he despised that he ever did in the first place. But it did its job; Chrollo spread his legs and kissed down to his core. Kurapika blushed furiously and covered his face -- he had already figured out that the man did this when Kurapika did something that pleased him. He felt Chrollo tongue him gently, running up and down the lips before dipping inside. His breathing hitched from the feeling, desperately trying to distract himself. Then there was suction on his clit, making him whimper loudly from the pleasure.

 

A finger started teasing his hole while his mouth focused on his bundle of nerves. When the digit slid into him, he bucked his hips towards the man’s face, feeling desire taking over his actions while his thoughts raced elsewhere. The finger pushed deep inside him and curled upwards, pressing against that spot inside him that made him whimper again. With both areas being stimulated, he was soon a moaning mess, gasping in need and rolling his hips for more. His eager reaction made his chest tighten to the point where he almost couldn’t breathe, so his mind’s response was to basically shut down in a similar way to that very first night after the bar. It felt like the body he was in wasn’t his own, even if it looked like it.

 

He knew his fingers tangled into the mess of black hair between his legs, pulling it slightly in need, but he couldn’t feel his muscles doing it, couldn’t feel the surprisingly soft hair against his skin. He could vaguely hear himself moaning something that sounded a lot like a name, but he couldn’t distinguish what it was. All he knew was suddenly he felt a wave of pleasure wash over him as he orgasmed into Chrollo’s mouth, his body desperately craving friction. As he started coming down from his high, the fog in his brain cleared just enough to tell that he was moved farther up on the bed, and Chrollo was thrusting into him before he even noticed. The pace was much faster than usual, and he was grateful for it. Soon his arms were wrapped around the Troupe leader’s neck, fingernails digging into his back slightly.

 

The pace wasn’t as intense as the first day, but it certainly wasn’t weak -- Kurapika had to actually hold on to the other to keep from moving too much. He didn’t know exactly when, but at some point his legs wrapped around Chrollo’s hips, and he let his upper body flop back onto the bed, moaning at how deep the other was. He could hear himself moaning the same name from earlier again, and it made the Spider head actually groan Kurapika’s name in response. Soon, the blonde was orgasming again, and he vaguely registered Chrollo pushing deep inside of him and releasing, more so feeling the warmth that filled him up. He whined weakly, panting heavily as he relaxed on the bed and Chrollo pulled out of him.

 

For some reason, the Troupe leader starting fretting over him, worrying that Kurapika had gotten hurt during it. The fog in his mind started clearing, and he started realizing everything that he had been doing. He felt his face burn from embarrassment, and he rolled on his side away from the other, swatting away his hands. “I’m fine, I’m fine-! I’m not made of glass. Why do you care so much anyway? You certainly didn’t give a fuck back at the hotel.”

 

He felt the bed shift behind him, and soon he was being spooned by the other man; he hid his face with his pillow in response. Chrollo’s hand came to rest on Kurapika’s lower stomach, rubbing softly. “I have to be careful with this one,” he said quietly, causing the blonde to shoot out of his arms. “What the hell are you going on about?” He watched the other sit up, his heart rate shooting through the roof.

 

The dark-haired man stared at him in disbelief, silent for a minute before he finally explained himself. “Kurapika, did you not know? I’d thought you had figured it out by now; the reason why you’re sick, why your aura has been hectic, why you’ve been so fatigued-” Kurapika cut him off, denying the latter two observations, but Chrollo continued on. “You’re pregnant Kurapika. With our child.” The Kurta got off the bed, quickly putting on his sweats. “No, I’m not you fucking psycho. The stress of having to live as my mortal enemy’s sex toy is why I am sick, not because I’m carrying a child. I would have noticed by now if I was pregnant.” He was starting to hyperventilate, he couldn’t think straight -- he needed to get out of here.

 

Kurapika was headed for the bedroom door when he felt a sharp pain in his neck and everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

When he woke up, he was tucked into bed, and Chrollo was nowhere to be seen. He carefully sat up, his head swimming, trying to remember what the hell happened. He remembered the two of them being intimate, but then what happened after? Did he pass out? That would explain his foggy memory, but it wouldn’t explain why his neck was sore. He felt like he was close to remembering when Chrollo returned to the bedroom.

 

“Looks like you’re calm now. I’m surprised you’re awake, but you are a nen user, and I wasn’t aiming to kill you.” The Troupe leader walked over to the bed, his expression unreadable, and dropped a box at his feet. “Take this. You obviously aren’t going to believe what your own body is telling you, so maybe you’ll believe science.” With that, he walked out of the room.

 

Kurapika was puzzled over Chrollo’s sudden change in demeanor, but when he looked at the box, everything came flooding back: the initial shock of what the other had said, the blonde’s denial, his near panic attack he had. He guessed Chrollo must have knocked him out to keep him from leaving, which explained his earlier statement, and the sore neck. He looked at the box again, his chest constricting painfully. It was a pregnancy test.

 

Just the insinuation that he was pregnant made him want to throw up. He had gotten angry at Leorio for suggesting it earlier, but now he wished it was just that. This… this made him want to run, to cry, to just shrivel up into a tiny ball... but... despite all of that, he had to know. And short of going to a doctor, or a Hunter in this field... this was his best option.

 

So, despite never wanting to even think of this happening to him, he grabbed the little box and went into the bathroom. It was the most agonizing 5 minutes of his life, waiting for that stupid stick to tell him the truth. He did end up throwing up while waiting, then sitting on the cool tile floor while he dug his nails into his forearms to keep himself from standing back up and pacing the room. It felt like hours had passed within those five minutes, and rivulets of blood were starting to drip down his skin by the time the minute hand on the clock hit the allotted time. He immediately jumped up, but he didn’t approach the counter, suddenly not wanting to know.

 

Kurapika forced himself to step forward though, and with a deep breath to calm his nerves, he picked up the little stick that could very possibly decide his fate.

 

‘+’

 

When he saw the little plus sign, his heart skipped a beat and his breathing stuttered to a stop. He dropped the device on the counter, turning to walk towards the door. His vision was swimming from the tears quickly running down his cheeks, resulted in him almost falling against it instead. He rested his forehead against the wood, his hands pressed flat against it. Kurapika sank to his knees, a choked sob reverberating against the walls of the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep it a surprise, but I'm pretty sure most of you figured out he was pregnant before he did XD Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thank you Serenechaos for the arc title suggestion!


	17. [Release Arc] Chapter 2: Don't Treat Me Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika almost gets himself in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for disappearing on you guys like that! School was getting more difficult, and I changed jobs, which changed my hours drastically, so my sleep schedule has been all outta whack. Thank you, everyone, who has continued to read this in my absence!

_When he saw the little plus sign, his heart skipped a beat and his breathing stuttered to a stop. Kurapika sank to his knees, a choked sob reverberating against the walls of the bathroom._

 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been in the bathroom; it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Hell, it could have been days for all he knew. What he was certain of was his knees were aching from being on the floor, his head was pounding from his crying, and his throat was hoarse. At some point he had curled up in a corner, feeling sorry for himself, and he had stayed there.

When he could no longer ignore the protests from his body to move, he shakily got himself to his feet, his joints stiff. He trudged over to the sink and blearily washed his face, going through the motions mechanically. When he was done, he left the bathroom slowly, glancing around. He felt slight relief when he noticed that his captor was nowhere to be seen, but it wasn’t enough to pull him from his funk. He made his way to the bed and climbed under the pristinely done covers, sinking into the soft mattress and pillow with a sigh, his muscles starting to relax.

Even with the weight of drowsiness behind his eyes from crying, Kurapika couldn’t sleep. He forced his eyes to close, but it just made him restless, so he fell into just staring at the wall blankly, his body heavy and unmoving.

* * *

 

Once again, he wasn’t sure how long he had been laying in that same spot, but now he was ignoring the claw of hunger pinching in his abdomen, his mouth parched. Not that there was a lack of food and water -- at some point, Kalluto had brought him food and water, silently placing it on the side table that Kurapika had his back to, and left. The blonde could have sworn the young member had stayed at the door for a while, probably watching him, but he couldn’t say for sure because he hadn’t checked. He hadn’t heard the door shut, but that didn’t mean anything.

The food had long since gone cold, the mouthwatering scent of cooked meats and vegetables dissipating in the stale air. More time passed and he eventually managed to doze off; his sleep was dreamless, mimicking his waking mind’s numbness. Just as he was about to go into REM, his eyes snapped open and his mind into focus as a familiar hand slid around his waist, heat pushing away the coldness that had washed over his back when the blankets had been moved. He was gently pulled flush against the Troupe leader’s chest and thighs, the lightest of kisses ghosting over the back of his neck.

“You didn’t eat anything Kurapika.” Chrollo stated simply, nuzzling Kurapika’s neck gently. The Kurta tried to ignore how uncomfortable he felt, dully stating the other never cared before if he was taking care of himself. “I know, but now there’s a baby involved. You need to be healthy for our little one Kurapika~” The blonde felt cold wash over him, bile rising in his throat with disgust when Chrollo rubbed his stomach almost lovingly. He sluggishly pushed him away and got out of bed, quickly going to the restroom to throw up what little contents of his stomach there were into the toilet. Most of it was stomach acid, which burned his already raw esophagus to the point of making him cough harshly.

His abdomen was hurting by the time his coughing fit was over. Kurapika was hunched over the sink, trembling slightly. He heard Chrollo approaching him, tensing when the other’s hand started rubbing his back. A glass with water was placed on the counter next to him, whispered words to drink gentle against his cheek. The tension in his body reached its limit, and he knocked the glass over, spilling water everywhere. He whirled around to face the Troupe leader, anger flashing in his scarlet eyes.

“ _You_ don’t get to treat me like you’re some doting boyfriend or husband trying to help his girlfriend get through pregnancy! You’ve raped me over and over again, never once using any sort of protection. Never once did you fucking care! You don’t get to suddenly care because of this! This child is one born of hatred, not love, so don’t fucking act like it’s anything else, you sick bastard!” Kurapika watched the other process his words for a moment, feeling his anger boil under his skin. He couldn’t believe it when the man suddenly pulled him into his arms and hugged him. Chrollo fucking hugged him!

“I just want our baby to be born healthy. Is that so much to ask?” His words were gentle, and Kurapika wanted to scream. He shoved him away harshly, eyes burning brighter. “‘Is that so much to ask’?! Like you’ve ever cared about what I wanted or thought! You held me against my will, forced yourself on me over and over again, and kidnapped my friends just to get me to come back here when I finally escaped! Yes, that is a lot to ask you asshole.”

His chains were around his hand in an instant, and he tried to attack, but Chrollo was faster. He was quickly pinned against the wall, the pressure on his wrist almost enough to snap it. His already limited focus wavered when his skull bounced off the wall, making his chains shudder in and out of existence, eventually fading away. “Careful Kurapika. I don’t want to accidentally hurt our child.”

The blonde spit in the other’s face, almost growling at him. “Stop calling it ‘our’ child. It is your child that you forced me to carry. I want no part of this. Now, or ever.” He watched Chrollo’s eyes harden, feeling a shiver of fear course through him. His eyes stayed bright red though, a defiant snarl curling his lips. The dark-haired man was silent for a while, studying Kurapika’s face. Finally, he leaned forward, lips brushing the Kurta’s ear as he murmured quiet words.

“Watch yourself Kurapika. I know where everyone is.”

With that, the other let go of him, leaving the bathroom and returning to the bed. Kurapika felt like throwing up again, but this time it was from the pain of yelling with his voice so raw. Another coughing fit wracked his body, harsh enough that he was coughing up specks of blood by the end of it. He turned the faucet on, shakily filling up the glass and sipping some water -- even that hurt going down his throat. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes from the pain, but he kept drinking knowing he desperately needed to.

The Kurta stayed in the bathroom a while longer, in case he started heaving again, but after what he guessed was an hour with no signs of such, he turned the light off and entered the bedroom. When he saw the other was apparently sleeping, he didn’t feel the urge to sleep anymore. He saw the food for the first time; it appeared to be glazed beef with peas and green beans cooked beside it. He felt his stomach growl again, but he pointedly ignored it, turning his gaze away from that area of the room.

His eyes fell onto a dresser in the corner, something he had made notice of in the back of his mind, but had never actively thought of it. He quietly walked over to it and opened one of the drawers, discovering that there was underwear in it. There were panties on one side, some of which he recognized from when Chrollo had bought him ‘appropriate clothing’, but some of the skimpier ones made his stomach flip at the thought of wearing them. On the other side, there were boxers, which he guessed belonged to the other man in the room.

Keeping himself from thinking too hard about it, he grabbed a simple pair of the boxers, opening the next few drawers. He managed to scavenge out some baggy, slightly torn jeans that he could never imagine the Spider head wearing, and a black pullover sweatshirt. He still had the sports bra on from earlier, which was all he had to work with in terms of compression tops. He returned to the bathroom and put on the clothes, attempting to finger comb out his hair. When that didn’t work, he begrudgingly looked for a brush and quickly fixed his hair.

Looking himself over, he felt a lot more comfortable -- the clothing hid his curves well, causing the dark cloud of self-hatred that had been swirling in his thoughts to finally lessen. He stepped out of the bathroom once more and without a second thought made his way to the door to the bedroom. He opened it and walked out, not receiving even a warning about trying to leave. He left the door open out of petty spite.

He heard a myriad of sounds coming from various directions as he walked through the mansion, eventually making his way downstairs, where most of the noise was coming from. He isolated the loudest room, which appeared to be a sitting room, and avoided it, not wanting to deal with the rest of the Spiders. He found the kitchen, looking around a bit. He found tea and a teapot after a bit of searching, quietly making some. He was sure they had noticed him walking around, but that didn’t mean he wanted them to come find him.

While the water heated up, he looked in the fridge for something soft to eat. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, he pulled out some butter and looked for some bread. He found it quickly, and soon after he had some very lightly toasted toast with butter. He carefully ate it, trying to ignore how much it hurt to swallow. Just as the teapot started to whistle he turned the heat off, pouring the hot water into his prepped teacup. He heard a throat clear behind him, making him jump and whirl around to see who was there. He wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing Kalluto in the doorway to the kitchen.

The teen eyed Kurapika carefully, his gaze flitting to the teapot. “Is there enough for another cup?” He heard the younger ask quietly. After a moment of hesitation, he checked, then nodded. Kalluto fully entered the kitchen after the affirmative, getting their own cup of tea prepared. Kurapika was silent, watching them from a few steps away. While he hated Kalluto by proxy of them being a Troupe member, the other was barely out of their toddler years when the massacre happened. He bore no ill-will towards them specifically, just the older Troupe members.

Kalluto seemed to be observing him as well, but much more discreetly than Kurapika was. They set their cup down on the counter, watching the water slowly turn a dark green. They spoke quietly after a moment. “Boss has been acting weird since you got here, and it’s putting everyone on edge. What did you do?”

Kurapika bristled, turning his attention to his own teacup. “ _I_ didn’t do anything. It’s all on him.” He shot back, he started to turn to leave when Kalluto spoke up again. “I hope you know the only reason you’re alive still is because Boss ordered us not to kill you? Some of the others have been dying to get their hands on you.”

The Kurta scoffed and kept walking, intending to find somewhere quiet. He thought he heard the younger one say something, but he didn’t bother checking.

“Be careful…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't respond to your comments last chapter everyone, I didn't want to accidentally spoil something! Love you all!


	18. [Release Arc] Chapter 3: Garden of Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I am finally back, and I ready to get the fic done! I'm already almost done with chapter 19, so I am a rollin'! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Kurapika tries to get something from Chrollo, but will he succeed?

_“I hope you know the only reason you’re alive still is because Boss ordered us not to kill you? Some of the others have been dying to get their hands on you.”_

 

_The Kurta scoffed and kept walking, intending to find somewhere quiet. He thought he heard the younger one say something, but he didn’t bother checking._

 

_“Be careful…”_

 

Kurapika walked through the lower floor of the mansion, once again taking care to avoid the loud noises coming from the sitting room. He wandered in the direction of what he assumed was the back of the house, hoping for maybe a library or even access to a possible backyard. He made his way through the confusing hallways and found the door leading to the garden. Minor relief flitted through his mind, but just as he stepped outside, he felt a presence sizzle into his awareness, making him tense and glance over his shoulder.

 

His dowsing chain materialized, slinking down his wrist and uncoiling towards the floor, his brown eyes meeting the cold gaze of Machi’s blue ones. He activated Gyo, but he didn’t any nen threads anywhere. When she didn’t move, he faced forward and stepped outside as he originally intended to, trying to ignore her.

 

The blond made his way through the wilted garden, sensing Machi’s fleeting aura follow him -- keeping an eye on him he guessed. He felt sour as he wandered. The blond eventually found himself approaching a bush of azaleas. They were surprisingly alive, their gentle pink blooms bright against the dark greens and browns of the dying plants around them. He ran his index finger across the soft petals, his chains disappearing. Kurapika’s mind suddenly drifted to the language of flowers, his brain nagging him to remember what azaleas meant. He couldn’t help the swarm of thoughts that flooded him:

 

_Temperance_

_Still-Developing Passion_

_Elegance and Wealth_

_Femininity_

_Remembering One’s Home_

 

There were a few others that he couldn’t remember off the top of his head, but he was certain he would remember after a while if he really gave it thought. He focused mainly on the last one, a deep sadness clouding his mind (he was certain it was even visible in his aura). He turned his back to the plant, falling to the dirt in a cross-legged position. His eyes slid shut, and he let his nen fade, slipping into a state of Zetsu as he started to meditate. He pushed all thoughts of the spiders, his dysphoria, and the pregnancy forcefully from his mind, letting the emptiness consume his consciousness.

 

* * *

 

Kurapika wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he decided to return to the world, but he felt much better. He had forgotten how much meditation could help calm his mind, but he made a note to himself to try and do it more often. In this relaxed state, he allowed thoughts to return to him, one at a time. The spiders weren’t allowed to hurt him, didn’t seem like they wanted to interact with him at all. On top of that, it seemed like the Troupe leader genuinely wanted him to be safe now that the blond was carrying his child, so he wasn’t sure how his personality would change as this progressed. He would have to deal with that as it came.

 

In regards to the pregnancy, he wasn’t sure what to do. While he was very much of the opinion that people are allowed to terminate a pregnancy of their own volition, he personally could never bring himself to do such a thing. Whether it was due to how sacred children were viewed within the Kurta clan or something else entirely, he wasn’t sure. This put him in a hard place though -- on one hand, even a minuscule thought of there being a child in him made him feel like his stomach is in knots, made his skin crawl and his hair stand on end, made his self-deprecating thoughts try to swallow him whole. On the other hand, he would never be able to forgive himself if he terminated the pregnancy. He felt tears threaten to fall; he didn’t know what to do.

 

Could he even last another month of this? Let alone however many months until he gave birth?

 

Just that thought made him want to heave. He decided to think about it later.

 

The topic naturally dissolved into what he could do to level his dysphoria. At the very least, he needed a way to bind -- as much as he hated having female genitalia between his legs (and his period, god that was always awful), his chest had always been the main cause of his negative outlook on his body. He could see if there were any sort of medical bandages or sports tape. Neither were particularly safe ways of binding, but if he punctured a lung and died, would that really be a bad thing?

 

He shook his head to get that thought away; that wasn’t going to help anything. An idea crept up from his deeper mind, making itself known. A shudder shook him, and he slowly opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. As much as he hated it, this was probably his best option if he wanted to be mentally able to cope with his situation.

 

Kurapika stood on shaky legs, feeling fatigue hit him -- he probably should have tried to eat a little more earlier. He made his way inside, seeing Machi out of the corner of his eye once again following him. Once he was in the house again, she was gone, probably off to the rest of the Troupe. It was much quieter this time. Maybe some of them left? He didn’t care enough to check. The Kurta slowly climbed the stairs to Chrollo’s bedroom, clearing his mind of his thoughts lest they consume him and prevent him from achieving his goal.

 

The blond didn’t realize how much he was trembling until he reached the landing, and he silently cursed his newfound weakness. Taking a slow, deep breath helped it stop, and he continued on with his goal. He tentatively knocked on the door to Chrollo’s room, the dark-haired man opening it moments later. “You don’t have to knock on your bedroom door Kurapika.” Regardless, he stepped aside and the blond walked in slowly.

 

Kurapika only stepped in far enough for the door to be closed behind him, nervously glancing at the Troupe leader. Steeling himself, he met his gaze. “What would I have to do for you to obtain a compression tank top for me?” He watched as Chrollo paced around to his front, looking him up and down.

 

“Now why would I do that? So you can hide your beautiful body from me? Why would such a pretty lady wish to hide?” Chrollo smirked when Kurapika flinched, averting his eyes. “Because it would keep me from stressing as much, which would be be-better for the b-baby.”

 

“It’s our baby Kurapika. You need to accept that.” The younger flinched again, biting the inside of his cheek. Hands slid around his waist and pulled him flush against the elder’s body. Kurapika’s hands naturally came to rest on Chrollo’s chest, feebly pushing him away. The Troupe leader only held him tighter. “If you do, then I might consider your request.”

 

Kurapika squeezed his eyes shut, but nodded slightly. “It would be better f-for _our_ ba-baby, Ch-Chrollo.” He heard the other mutter _good_ and felt those hands slide along his trim frame, cupping his rear and grinding their hips together. The Kurta swallowed shakily, peeking up at the other man. “You should know what to do if you want to earn this privilege Kurapika.”

 

The blond had an idea, but he expected it as he was lead towards the bed. What he wasn’t expecting was for the leader to take a step back to sit down and gently push Kurapika to his knees in front of him, palming his growing erection through his lounge pants. A spike of fear went through him and he looked up at the raven-haired man pleadingly. Chrollo was simply smirking, gesturing for Kurapika to start. Without realizing it he started shaking his head, making the other ‘tsk’ in disappointment. “I could always take your phone away again, maybe keep you locked in this room. Do those sound better?”

 

Kurapika begrudgingly shook his head, looking away from those cold eyes to level his gaze with the tented cloth in front of him. He lifted his hands to start pulling down the fabric, carefully releasing the appendage from its confines. He pushed himself to continue, shakily taking it in his slim fingers and starting to stroke him to full length.

 

Once the other was at attention, he glanced up to Chrollo’s face again. He was still smirking, and the man brought a hand up to gently pet Kurapika’s hair. The blond closed his eyes and took the next step, shuddering as he licked the tip. He hoped the other realized the only time he’s done this was when the Troupe leader had captured him initially. It didn’t seem to matter either way, because once he took the head in his mouth, Chrollo was gently caressing his hair and cheek encouragingly.

 

The salty taste of the soft skin on his tongue made him want to retch, but he continued anyway, swirling his tongue around the head messily and sucking gently afterward. He felt the fingers tangle into his hair, and he took that as a good sign. He alternated between those and running his tongue along the length until he felt a slight pressure on his skull to take more into his mouth. The Kurta started to bob his head, slowly taking more in with each one until he couldn’t comfortably go down anymore. He once again wrapped a hand around the base, feeling like he needed to provide more pleasure than what he was attempting.

 

He cracked open an eye and glance up at the other -- his smirk was gone, replaced with a look of pleasure, but he was still watching the blond intently. Once he realized he had captured the scarlet gaze, he tugged his hair sharply, pulling an unwilling moan from Kurapika’s throat. The vibrations must have pleased the man, because he pulled again, which caused another one to escape.

 

Kurapika squeezed his eyes shut and focused once more on the task at hand. When he started going down again, he felt pressure against the back of his head, pushing him down farther on the shaft. He gagged a bit, trying unsuccessfully to push away. He panicked slightly, grazing his teeth against the skin. The raven-haired man rolled his hips once, then let up the pressure. Kurapika pulled off gratefully and sucked in a breath, coughing.

 

“If you relaxed you could take it all Kurapika.” He felt the fingers leave his hair and graze across his cheek to his chin, his head tilted up. He opened his eyes to glare at the other, still panting slightly. Chrollo’s thumb slid across his bottom lip, pulling open his mouth slightly. He felt the other press his thumb against Kurapika's tongue and force his jaw open wider. The younger let it happen, not wanting to anger the Spider. Once he relaxed, Chrollo removed his thumb and pressed three fingers into his mouth, causing the blond to gag and naturally try to remove the foreign object from his body. Chrollo simply pushed deeper, causing Kurapika's throat to close up to keep it from going down. He was panting heavily at this point, eyes glistening slightly as he tried to take in sufficient breaths.

 

"Relax. If you panic then you'll lose oxygen faster." He heard Chrollo's voice sound out above him, and he tried to relax. He really did. It was hard, but he managed it, eventually able to breathe around the fingers in his mouth. Chrollo immediately shoved his fingers deeper, causing him to gag again and pull away - this time Chrollo let him get away completely. He threw a glare at the other, but that only got him pulled into a kiss.

 

They separated slowly, leaving Kurapika surprisingly breathless. Chrollo sat back up, parting his legs to give Kurapika more room to continue. The blond begrudgingly slid his hands up the other's thighs, his right returning to the other's crotch to stroke him again. He felt anxiety creeping in his gut, but he remembered it was for a good cause, so he forced it down and took the other back into his mouth with a grimace. He worked his way back to the same deepness as before much quicker, moving faster in general. He heard a quiet moan from above him and hoped he was doing enough for this to be worth it.

 

He knew it was coming, but when the hand that had returned to his head started to push him down, he felt the panic return. The fingers on his left hand curled against the other's thigh, trying to distract himself from what was happening. His throat relaxed slowly, and he carefully took more into his mouth, managing to get about three-quarters of the way down comfortably. He focused on sucking for now, not sure if he could bob his head yet.

 

Kurapika heard the other moan again, a bit louder this time, the fingers tugging his hair again. He whimpered around the flesh, shuddering as he felt his body naturally reacting to the situation. This made his body relax a bit more, which Chrollo took advantage of immediately.

 

Within moments the pressure on his head increased exponentially, and he was shoved all the way down to the base.

 

The blond started gagging, eyes widening in shock. He used both hands to push back so he could breathe. The other didn't let him though, holding Kurapika's head down as he started rolling his hips to fuck into his mouth. Tears sprung to Kurapika's eyes as he squeezed them shut, digging his nails into the meat of the other's thighs. Panic was starting to consume him, making it more and more difficult to breathe as the oral abuse went on. After what felt like several minutes, he began trembling and feeling dizzy, his body protesting to the lack of air. He felt nausea climbing his throat, and he was surprised he didn’t hurl when he felt the slimy substance that was Chrollo’s cum going down his throat.

 

Moments later he went limp, collapsing to the floor once the Troupe leader let go of him.


	19. [Release Arc] Chapter 4: Now You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Chrollo actually concede to Kurapika's request? How does he respond to making Kurapika pass out? Find out now!

_Panic was starting to consume him, making it more and more difficult to breathe as the oral abuse went on. After what felt like several minutes, he began trembling and feeling dizzy, his body protesting to the lack of air._

 

_Moments later he went limp, collapsing to the floor once the Troupe leader let go of him._

 

When he came to, it had to have been only minutes, as the Troupe Leader was flitting about trying to make him comfortable, fretting over the Kurta. He tried to take in a deep breath and immediately regretted it, lurching onto his side to throw up cum and stomach acid, burning his throat and mouth. He was thrown into a coughing fit once his throat was mostly clear, almost doubling over from the pain, clutching his stomach.

 

By the time it subsided, Chrollo was already cleaning up the mess he had made and had brought Kurapika a glass of water. He still felt lightheaded, but he took the glass anyway, sipping it in the hopes to calm his still raging stomach. When it became clear that it wasn’t working, he handed the glass back to the other man, uncaring of whether or not it splashed in the process, and pushed himself to his feet, shakily heading towards the bathroom in the event that he threw up again. He disregarded whatever it was Chrollo was trying to say to him, closing and locking the bathroom door behind him.

 

“Fucking asshole… trying to take care of me, but then making me pass out of asphyxiation… not that it really matters one way or another… not like I want to be pregnant…” his breath hitched, and he had to fight back tears. He sat with his back to one of the walls and pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face as more tears came. He let them fall, too exhausted to fight them anymore.

 

He heard his stomach growl, cramping up slightly from throwing up so many times on empty. He tried to ignore it, much too tired to get up and go back downstairs for something to eat. Time passed and the cramping got worse, so he forced himself to his feet, filling the glass from earlier to the top and gulping it down. The water weight helped calm his stomach, but the speed at which he drank made him cough again. He set the glass down and exited the bathroom, seeing Chrollo was gone. He went to the bed to sleep, not bothering to get under the covers. He figured once he was laying down, he would fall under quickly, but that wasn’t the case. He was wide awake, staring at the wall with a sigh.

 

Kurapika let his thoughts wander, feeling his body getting colder. Clearly, the other man wanted this thing in him to survive, but he wasn’t doing too great of a job making sure Kurapika was okay. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if this event caused him to miscarry. Emotion flooded his senses at that statement; a part of him with overjoyed with the thought that this thing would be out of him, but another alarmingly large part of him was distraught at the possibility. He couldn’t possibly want to carry the child, right? The realization that he indeed wanted the child to live happily and healthy shook him to his core, too shocked to even cry. He felt numb to everything, eyes dazed and unfocused as this really sank in. Somewhere in his mind, he cursed his natural maternal instincts, turning and hiding his face in his pillow.

 

It was like this that Chrollo found him when he returned, but the man didn’t say much. He walked up to the bed, calling the Kurta’s name. Kurapika wearily removed his face from the fabric and turned to look at the Spider, catching sight of a black crop top. Confusion settled on his features. “This is for you. Just be careful with how often you wear it, it can mess with lactation once the child is born.” Once Kurapika took the garment, Chrollo took a phone out of his pocket and set it on the side table, then left. The blond followed the other with his gaze until he was gone, eyes flitting back to the things left for him.

 

He pushed himself up to look at the crop top, feeling the material and recognizing the material almost instantly -- a chest binder. _Chrollo_ got him _a chest binder._ For the first time since he got here, he felt happiness start to overwhelm him, and he immediately stripped to put it on. It was a little tight, but that was to be expected of a brand new binder. Once it was in place, he immediately stopped touching anywhere near his chest, the skin hypersensitive and hurting from the slightly scratchy fabric. Despite this, he could almost weep from joy when he looked down and saw that his chest was flat. In fact, he let himself flop back on the bed and let the tears come down his cheeks, relief settling in his gut.

 

Once the overwhelmingness of the situation faded, he looked to the phone, carefully picking it up in his shaky fingers. He saw that it was his phone from before, so he unlocked it easily and took it off airplane mode, and after the couple seconds it took to connect to his mobile data, it was flooded with texts and missed calls. He glanced at the door and around the room, not seeing anyone spying on him before he started reading through the texts. The ones from Gon and Killua were mostly about how Leorio was acting, with promises to come find him and save him sprinkled in. Senritsu had sent him surprisingly little, telling him she was watching over the others. She also sent some audio files that he was surprised made it through the limited connection he had, He hit play on one of them, and it was her flute; he felt a calmness wash over him, and he actually smiled a little.

 

When the one he played ended, he downloaded the files onto his phone, then went back to reading messages. The most unread messages were from Leorio, but what was he expecting? It started with a flood of angry texts about how he gave himself up, then switched to concern about his health again. Then there was a load of messages of him apologizing for so many things; for not protecting him, for them not rescuing him yet, for getting himself captured, the list went on and on. There was an audio file attached to the most recent message, and his curiosity won out, his thumb clicking the play button. What played through the tiny speaker made his heart ache.

 

The audio was one of Leorio crying, quietly apologizing and wishing their roles were reversed so that Kurapika would be safe and happy and healthy. It didn’t sound like he even knew this was being recorded, so there wasn’t any practiced dialogue, it was all raw heartfelt emotion. Before Kurapika realized it, he was sniffling in response, and with one more check around the room, (once again seeing nothing,) he pressed the call button above the chat, and brought the phone to his ear. He listened to it ring, staring at the ceiling. Just as he thought it was going to go to voicemail, he heard it pick up and Leorio’s groggy sleep voice come through the receiver.

 

“Hello?” Guess he didn’t check the caller I.D. before picking up. He chuckled softly, turning on his side and sniffling a bit more. He heard Leorio speak again, his voice getting farther away. “What the hell…” A moments pause before suddenly his friend was much more awake. “What the-! Kurapika?!? Is that really you?? Are you there?! Hello?!” He bit his bottom lip, chuckling again. “I-I’m here…” He heard Leorio’s exclamation of relief, and suddenly his voice was away from the microphone again. “Guys! Come here, Kurapika just called me!”

 

He would have protested, but he could hear Killua, Gon, and Alluka scramble to be near the phone, and he could hear Leorio tapping on the phone, probably putting it on speaker. His earpiece was flooded with concerned questions from his friends, and his heart leapt to his throat, choking off any words he could have said. He heard Leorio’s voice raise, telling them “calm down, one question at a time”, before his older friend’s voice spoke more clearly.

 

“Kurapika, are you okay? Where are you? How are you feeling? Has that bastard done anything to you?” The blond felt his lower lip tremble, and he captured it between his teeth, attempting to compose himself. He was certain his voice was shaking when he replied. “Wh-what happened to… to one quest-question at a time, Leo-?” He tried to be cheeky, but he could practically hear them start frowning at his stuttered words. When he didn’t receive the indignant reply he expected, he curled in on himself a little more, trying to focus on making himself more clear.

 

“I-I’m okay… just-just really ti-tired and sore…” He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, then tried to talk again. “Still at that house… though I… I’m guessing we might m-move soon si-si-since Chrollo… gave m-me back my phone…”

He heard Gon start to ask him some questions, but his mind couldn’t focus on the words, only starting to cry harder. He was sure he cut off Gon when he spoke up, but right now he didn’t care.

 

“L-Leori-rio, can I-I… Can I sp-speak to you? A-alone?” He bit his lip, a small whimper leaving him while they all clearly thought his request over. “Please…?” he added weakly, and he heard Leorio excuse himself from the others. His chest clenched painfully while he waited, and as soon as he heard Leorio say he was alone, another whimper left him. “Y-your worries were correct Leorio… I-I… I’m…wi-with...” He heard Leorio curse and start pacing, and Kurapika could barely hold in his sobs at this point.

 

“Do you know how far along you are? Have you been experiencing any symptoms? Senritsu mentioned you had been throwing up before you got me out of there.” Kurapika confirmed this quietly, having a hard time thinking clearly now that he had told someone about this. “I-I’m still throwing up… I-I’m sensi-sitive all over… m-my-my chest hurts a lot. I don’t know… how long, but it happened dur-during that first week… It had t-to have. My...my per-... my pe-... I was already late… when I escaped the first t-time…” He attempted to stay in control of his vocal cords, but he was failing spectacularly.

 

“Then it's already been almost two months…” he heard Leorio mutter. Kurapika was shocked -- he didn't know it had already been that long since his initial capture, and he wasn't sure how to take that. “I'm assuming he hasn't taken you to see a doctor or anything?” Kurapika made a noise of agreement. “The d-doctor would see-see the bruises… among other things…” he heard Leorio ‘tsk’ on the other end.

 

Kurapika didn't know what Leorio could possibly be thinking about, but he wished he would hurry up. Actually talking this much about the human inside him was making his panic and unease spike drastically. “Le-leorio…” he heard the other stop muttering, paying full attention. “I don't know what to do…” He whispered into the receiver, feeling his throat close up.

 

“Hey, hey, deep breaths Pika. Talk to me. Do you want to go over the grounding exercise again?” He received an affirmative, and they went through the list. By the end of it, Leorio's concern had grown exponentially due to some of the things he listed for feeling and tasting, and because of how hoarse Kurapika's voice sounded once he was a bit more calmed down. The blond could tell the other was thinking of all the possible things that Chrollo could have done to him, and he wanted to interrupt that thought process before Leorio came rushing to the mansion. “I don't know what to do Leorio… I thought I would abort the child immediately, but I can't bring myself to do it-!” He hiccupped from his crying, taking a moment to compose his words again. “I can't stand the thought of carrying a child, let alone tha-that bastard's spawn! How can I possibly be considered a man if I'm with child! I'll never be enough-” he cut off his own sentence, whimpering and hiding his face in the pillow again.

 

“Pika. Kurapika, listen to me very clearly. It doesn't change a thing if you're carrying a child or not. You're still you, a handsome, strong, determined, Kurta male, and that will never change. It doesn't matter if you haven't gotten surgeries, it doesn't matter if you're effeminate, it doesn't matter what assholes say about you. You are you, and if that 'you' is male, then that is who you are. You can't let a thing like this change your opinion of yourself. It's okay to have demons, but this should never be one of them. And the only qualifier to be a man is for you to identify as a man, so I don't want you to ever think that you aren't enough. You're so much more than ‘enough’.”

 

Kurapika was crying again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. He was biting his bottom lip to keep from making noise, smiling like an idiot. “Thank you, Leorio…” This was the most relaxed he's been in a while. “I can't tell you how much it means to me.”

 

“I'm glad I could help. I care about you, a lot Pika… more than I think you know.” This made a blush rise to his cheeks, and he felt the need to hide his face despite the fact that no one was in the room. “Though, Kurapika, I don't want to sour the mood, but back to the previous topic.” Kurapika's mood did indeed drop. “Yeah..?” He heard Leorio clear his throat, and take a deep breath before speaking. “I've offered before, and I will offer again. I can give you a check-up, especially if you do decide to carry to term, I know it's not _ideal,_ but I can give you my promise that I will keep it entirely professional, and as short as possible. I know you think I'm perverted, but this is serious.” Kurapika could hear the sourness, and suddenly he was thrown back to all the times he had called Leorio perverted, and he felt a little guilty, even if the other did deserve it at the time. He pushed that aside to deal with later.

 

“Even if I agreed, it's not like you could get to me. Chrollo wouldn't let me out of his sight long enough to visit a doctor, and I highly doubt he would let you come here for the check-up.” He could hear Leorio thinking from over here. “Well, how does Chrollo feel about the baby?” Kurapika frowned, sighing softly. “He really wants the child. I-if if do carry to term, then he's just going to indoctrinate the child into the Troupe. I don't think I could live with myself if that happened…” His voice caught. “I also doubt there would even be a chance for a custody battle.” He said with a small, bitter laugh.

 

“Well, then the only option would be to get you out of there before you start showing, because then everything escalates quickly. That means we hopefully have another two months at the best, a few weeks at the worst. In the meantime, could you possibly find out if they would allow a doctor to come on-site? You need to get check-ups at least semi-regularly.” Leorio started rambling, and it took Kurapika a moment to be able to get his attention again.

 

“Leorio, I can deal with this myself. I don’t want you guys getting involved and putting yourself in danger for me.” He felt his chest tighten slightly at the thought. “Then this all would have been for naught..."

 

“Okay, no offense but when exactly were you planning on ‘dealing’ with this? Before or after the child is born?” He could hear the other’s anger, and he started to return the feeling. “I’m sorry that I’m going head to head with one of the strongest fighters in the world here Leorio. You know, the man who took on _two_ Zoldycks and lived back at the auction all those years ago? Someone who obviously knows most of, if not all of, my chain abilities, and is now more cautious than ever? I’m sorry I don’t particularly want to put my friends in senseless danger! I’ve had nightmares since I was first captured that they had caught you and the others and were torturing you for their sick pleasure. Forced me to watch so that they could break me and take my eyes when they were at their brightest. Each of them having a turn with me so that you would realize how disgusting and broken I am so that you would just leave me to die! Like I should have with the rest of my clan, like I’ve been trying to do but been too much of a coward because I don’t want to hurt you guys!”

 

It took a moment for him to realize Leorio was speechless for once, but when he realized why he quickly hung up, clutching the phone to his chest in a slightly shocked, slightly panicked way. He _did not_ just tell _Leorio_ of all people that he’s been actively trying to kill himself. _Oh god, oh god, what is he even thinking about right now? He hasn’t called me back yet, maybe I did scare him away this time-_

 

Kurapika heard the door open at the same time that his phone started ringing again, and he quickly declined the call and looked up. Chrollo was bringing him something on a plate, and by the smell of it, it was a chicken soup of some kind. Despite his wary look at the other, his stomach was in knots from hunger, so he carefully sat up, taking the soup when it was offered to him. He nodded his head as thanks, not trusting his voice, and looked at the soup -- chicken noodle. By the time he looked up again, Chrollo was gone once more, leaving him confused and uncertain.


	20. [Release Arc] Chapter 5: Check-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, back on a regular posting schedule! Next chapter is underway and will be up next week!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Warning: This chapter contains a semi-detailed description of a sex organ check-up, if that makes you uncomfortable to read, it begins at "like jello", and ends at "intercourse".**
> 
> Kinda strange, but yeah XD

_“...I’ve had nightmares since I was first captured that they had caught you and the others and were torturing you for their sick pleasure. I should have [died] with the rest of my clan, like I’ve been trying to do but been too much of a coward because I don’t want to hurt you guys!”_

_Chrollo was bringing him something on a plate, and by the smell of it, it was chicken soup. By the time he looked up again, Chrollo was gone once more, leaving him confused and uncertain._

Kurapika was staring at the door still when his phone rang again, Leorio calling back again. He picked it up and answered softly. “Hey… sorry about that, you-know-who came in here…”

Leorio didn’t answer at first, and Kurapika called his name hesitantly. Leorio finally spoke. "I'm not going to ask right now, but please Kurapika, if you need someone to talk to about this stuff, you can talk to me. You know that right? I know this is a difficult thing you're going through..." he heard the other say softly. Kurapika clutched the edge of the plate that the soup was on tightly, lowering his head. "I know..." and that was the end of that conversation.

He heard Leorio getting up again, and anxiety washed over him. "Hey, Leorio? Could you... not tell the kids about the pregnancy? I don't really want to tell them until I have to..."

"Of course Pika. Not my information to tell. What about Senritsu? She could probably hear the conversation anyway. Not really a lot of places here to go." Kurapika closed his eyes, releasing a shuddering breath. "Yeah. She would be able to tell anyway. Hear-heartbeats and all that." He bit his bottom lip, trying to stay relaxed. "Also, tell the kids not to worry too much about me, please. I can handle this... Besides, Chrollo has been awkwardly nice to me because he wants the b-"

"Oi! Kurapika, you're on speaker." He felt his heart skip a beat, glad Leorio interrupted him. "Chrollo's being nice because of what?" He heard Killua ask, which he declined to answer. "It's nothing Killua. Don't worry about it." The blond felt his phone buzz in his hand, and he pulled it away to see what it was. Leorio had texted him, asking if he wanted him to tell Senritsu, or if he wanted to do it. He wasn't sure honestly -- he was still incredibly shaky from telling Leorio. His response was made for him though, when Senritsu's soft voice asked him to place his phone against his chest.

He did so, his friends all hearing how fast his heart was beating. Only Senritsu could hear the strong, secondary heartbeat just slightly out of time with Kurapika's own. She didn't say anything, just smiled sadly and glanced at Leorio, who nodded discreetly. "Please be careful Kurapika. There is a lot of stress in your heart."

"I'll try. I'm going to go though guys. I don't want to risk him taking my phone away again. He also just brought me some food. I'll talk to you later..." Obviously he didn't see the looks of confusion shared between his friends, and after a chorus of goodbyes, he hung up. He set his phone back on the bedside table and focused on his soup, carefully eating it. It had cooled down by then, so it wasn't scalding when he tasted it. It was actually pretty good. It didn't take too long to finish it, and just as he set it down, Chrollo came into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay... my throat still hurts." He said a little testily, not looking at him. He felt Chrollo climbing onto the bed, and he laid down on his side facing away from the other. The blond felt a hand on his back start rubbing soothing circles against his spine. It felt good, but he would never tell Chrollo that. "Did you need anything else? Or do you just want to sleep?"

"Why the fuck do you care? Stop acting all nice. If you want me to be happy and unstressed go jump off a cliff, and take the rest of your Spiders with you." He heard The Troupe leader chuckle behind him. He turned to glare at the other, regretting it as his face was caught and he was kissed. His cheeks lit up, and he swatted the man away, curling up further on his side.

“On a related note, if you want any possibility of this child living, then I am going to need a doctor, and I doubt any of _you_ are capable of such things.” Kurapika felt his skin crawl as the other's hand made its return to his lower back, sliding along the edge of his binder.

“I'm sure I could procure one, there are plenty of doctors on these islands. Isn't that friend of yours a doctor? The tall one?” He gave Chrollo an affirmative. “Maybe I could grab him again. Would that make you more comfortable?” Once again, though significantly more nervous this time, Kurapika gave a nod. When Chrollo gave his own nod in return, he began to relax again. ‘ _That was easier than expected.’_

Chrollo hummed and wrapped his arm fully around the blond, pulling them together and nuzzling into his neck. The Kurta shuddered but didn't fight it, figuring it would be okay to stay in his binder since he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. He grabbed his phone once more, told Leorio that Chrollo had agreed, and mindlessly scrolled through his text messages.

* * *

 

A few days had passed since the Spider head had given him back his phone. He limited how much he used it though, not wanting it to be taken away again. He had laid down on the bed he shared with Chrollo, reading a book he found, once again wearing his binder. The blond woke up a while later with a start, sitting up rapidly despite the sharp pain in his ribs. His eyes were scarlet, frantically darting around the room before he realized whatever had spooked him was a dream. He flopped back down, biting the inside of his cheek once he realized that 1, he had fallen asleep when he didn’t mean to, and 2, had done so while wearing his _new_ binder. He carefully sat up and took the garment off, not bothering to put a shirt on. He simply laid back down and covered himself with the blanket, tucking his head underneath the fabric.

Kurapika listened to what sounded like footsteps ascending the stairs and approaching his door, making him hide further under the blanket. He flinched when he heard a knock. The voice that sounded though wasn’t who he was expecting. “Oi, K’rapika? Are you awake?” The Kurta scrambled out of the bed, threw a shirt on, and quickly approached the door, throwing it open and gazing up at his startled friend. One set of brown eyes met another before Kurapika was swept up in his friend’s arms for a hug -- it only took a moment for the blond to return it.

If Leorio was surprised by the sudden affection from the most closed off person of the friend group, he didn’t show it. Once they seperated, Leorio took a step back and examined Kurapika, noting not only his almost bare lower half, but also the newer and faded bruises along his legs. There was more bruising around his wrists, and there were hickeys strewn across the pale skin of the Kurta's neck. The only reason he didn't make a lewd comment on them is because he knew how he got them. Kurapika watched as Leorio stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him and setting his briefcase on the nearest surface.

"Chrollo literally showed up out of nowhere and grabbed me, said I was to be your doctor, and left. I'm sure the other's are freaking out, and I don't have my phone on me. You should probably tell them I should be okay." The blond stared at Leorio, still shocked that he was there. Once he realize the other asked him for something, he nodded dumbly and went to grab his phone, surprised it was still where he left it. He did have some more texts from his friends, telling him Chrollo took Leorio again. He sent out a group text saying Leorio was there with him, and that the Spider head had taken him because Kurapika needed a 'check-up'. He immediately received a response from Killua, demanding to know why Chrollo cared about him being healthy. His heart jumped into his throat, his hands trembling ever so slightly. "I don't know. He just does."

He turned the screen off and turned to face the other. Leorio looked irritated, just standing in the middle of the room. Kurapika approached him slowly, looking at him tentatively. The brunette spoke up again, meeting Kurapika's gaze. "Did you want to do this here? Or somewhere else?" The blond figured here would be best, saying as much. "I don't have any way to check for infections, but I'll take your blood pressure first." The two of them got through it relatively quickly. As they both expected, his BP was much higher than usual, but stress and anxiety will do that to you.

Leorio explained that he was going to do a pelvic exam, which will let him determine if his organs are healthy, and if there is any internal damage from the rough treatment Chrollo has subjected him to. Leorio instructed him to take his boxers off and lay down face up with his legs up and parted. He had already gone full doctor mode, but he backpedaled a little when he saw Kurapika tense and go a little pale.

Leorio approached him slowly. "Pika, you know I'm not gonna hurt you. And as I said over the phone, I am going to be completely professional about this. I can promise you I won't even think anything that could be considered dirty. You should know I'm not the same Leorio from the Hunter exam with Leroute."

"I-I know that... it's just... it's just difficult... for m-me to expose myself in such a way, revealing such a private piece of me... one that I wish wasn't even there..." He had his head down, his longer hair covering his eyes easily. "I've already had so many of my secrets get out... m-my virginity ripped away from me..." A sob caught in his throat, and he was enveloped once more in a hug, Leorio's long arms easily wrapping around Kurapika's small frame. The blond started to cry into his friend's shirt, not bothering to return the embrace.

After he cried for a few minutes, he gently separated from the brunette, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. "I'm sorry. I'll stop being so immature." He walked over to the bed, ignoring the protests from Leorio that he wasn't being immature. With another deep breath he pulled the boxers down his legs, letting them drop to the floor. He sat on the edge of the bed, his large shirt still easily covering him. He looked up, seeing Leorio pointedly not paying attention to him, which made Kurapika feel slightly better. He managed to convince himself to lay down on the bed, but he was trembling again, having a really hard time bringing himself to spread his legs for this.

_'I hope this won't be the only situation where we can do something like this.'_

The thought crossed his mind without his permission, and his face practically lit up from the blush that colored his skin. He mentally slapped himself, covering his face with his hands. He heard the other approach the bed, pulling blue disposable gloves on. "Pika? Are you blushing?" The Kurta denied such a notion quickly, peeking at the doctor-in-training between his fingers. He could see the other didn't believe his denial, but any idea to deny it again flew from his thoughts when he felt the gloved hands sit on his knees. He could feel his heart pounding through his whole body as he let the brunette gently push his legs up. Leorio's eyes were locked with Kurapika's, the Kurta's hands now clamped over his mouth to prevent any potential noises.

Once his legs were up to the appropriate height, Leorio put just enough pressure on the insides of his knees for the blond to know what was going to happen next, his eyes closing tight just as his vision tinted red. He nodded for Leorio to continue, but after a few seconds, it didn't seem like he was going to. He didn't realize the other was talking until he cracked his eyes open and saw his mouth moving. Kurapika then realized his ears were ringing, and he shook his head a little to attempt to focus.

"-eathe. Just breathe Kurapika. This is going to hurt if you don't relax, and I don't want to hurt you. I know it's scary, but it's not going to make me think any different of you. I just want to make sure you're healthy." His voice was soothing, not an adjective he would usually use for his fellow Hunter, but it did help him relax a bit. He noticed Leorio was also rubbing little circles into his knees with his thumbs, making his legs feel a little like jello. "I'm going to continue, okay Kurapika? Just breathe."

Kurapika nodded again, forcing himself to take a deep breath and let the other part his legs when he applied the pressure to do so. His heart leapt into his throat once he was fully exposed to his friend, but he forced himself to keep breathing through his anxiety. Leorio broke the eye contact and looked between Kurapika's legs -- bile started rising in his throat, but he forced it down, closing his eyes again. He heard Leorio say he was going to begin the examination, and he nodded weakly.

When the fingers came in contact with his privates, he shivered -- he'd gotten pap smears before, but he still despised it. He tried to focus on breathing, not watching anymore. He stared at the ceiling with determination, keeping his hands over his mouth. Once Leorio was done with the visual exam, he told Kurapika he was going to continue onto the physical. He glanced at the other in confusion; he didn't have the tools for a pap, what else could he do?

A shudder and a twinge of pain went through his mind as two fingers were inserted carefully inside him, curled slightly upwards. He whimpered and tensed, breathing heavily. Leorio stopped all movements immediately, and started telling the blond to relax again. It took a while, but he eventually managed it. Once he wasn't tense, Leorio continued, applying pressure with his free hand along where his bladder and uterus would be. It felt immensely uncomfortable, and it still stung now and then. He tried to ignore it, but tears still prickled the corners of his eyes, and he really wanted to close his legs and curl into a ball.

It seemed like Leorio was done, but instead of removing his fingers, he turned his hand over, making him moan weakly. His reaction left him mortified, but either Leorio didn't hear it, or he was doing a fantastic job of not responding. He felt another finger, probably his thumb, press against and into his ass. He jolted in surprise, trying to pull away. "Le-leorio what are you doing?" The Kurta asked quickly, looking at him in alarm.

"Relax Kurapika. I'm checking to make sure the tissue and muscle here aren't damaged. It can tear during labor if you get hurt beforehand." After feeling around for a bit, in which Kurapika had to hold back more whimpers, Leorio pulled his fingers out. "There was definitely trauma to both orifices, probably due to improper prepping before intercourse. There shouldn't be any complications during birth, as long as Chrollo isn't too rough with you. However, I can tell just by looking at you that you're severely underweight Kurapika. There is a possibility you could suffer from malnutrition, along with the baby, if you don't start eating."

While Leorio was saying this, he was writing something on a sheet of paper. He handed it to Kurapika, who had since sat up and curled his arms around his knees, reading it quietly.

 

_ 'Do you have a plan to get out of here?' _ The blond looked up at the brunette, shaking his head a little. Leorio nodded, writing another note. _' We're keeping an eye on the Troupe. We have a plan, but you'll have to hand on a bit longer.'_ Kurapika read this one and nodded again. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could mentally hold onto reality, he dissociated at least once a day now, if not more depending on the circumstances, and this examination certainly didn’t help. But he would try, if not for himself, then for his friends. Though they deserve better than a broken doll… 


	21. [Release Arc] Chapter 5: A Brief Moment Of Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff for Pika's bday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to my favorite anime character, Kurapika~! Sorry this is a day late, and is super short, but I just wanted one happy moment for my boy on his birthday! For those of you who haven't read it yet, and want to read more of my works, I do have another fic on here that is a fic about Kurapika's birthday. Full of angst with a happy ending. With that, let's get this show on the road!

_'We're keeping an eye on the Troupe. We have a plan, but you'll have to hand on a bit longer.' Kurapika read this one and nodded again. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could mentally hold onto reality. But he would try, if not for himself, then for his friends. Though they deserve better than a broken doll…_  
  
   
  
Chrollo never showed his face in the room, allowing Kurapika and Leorio to talk and catch up. As much as Leorio wanted to talk escaping, the Kurta still wasn’t sure there was no one listening in. Just cause he couldn’t sense anyone in the range of his En, doesn’t mean no one can hear them. So they kept it to a safe conversation.  
  
   
  
They talked about mostly mundane things, like school and work, but it was a good conversation. The two ended up sitting next to each other, the blond slightly leaning against his friend, the other’s arm loosely wrapped around him, a hand resting just above his hip. Kurapika was starting to fall asleep, feeling fairly relaxed with Leorio there. He had mostly pushed the exam out of his mind, with many thanks to his brunette friend for once again reassuring him he wasn't less masculine because of this. He silently hoped the kiss Leorio had pressed into his hair was real, and not just his imagination playing tricks on him.  
  
   
  
As the conversation slowed to a comfortable silence, Kurapika felt Leorio shift, almost making the blond move off of him. But then Leorio carefully laid back on the bed, pulling the Kurta down with him. The other had turned on his side, facing him, which Kurapika mirrored without a word.  
  
   
  
“Kurapika, I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to keep from getting captured. I'll work even harder on my Nen.” The other looked distraught, and Kurapika wanted that look gone. His hand moved before he could think, gently cupping Leorio's cheek.  
  
   
  
“It's okay Leorio, you do not need to apologize. This is the Phantom Troupe we're talking about here. They were already powerful years ago, and they have gotten stronger. You already know my Nen abilities were made to fight the Troupe, and yet I am not sure if I can defeat them.” He felt a wave of despair wash over him at his own words, his eyes turning a light shade of red. Before the blond could become lost in his thoughts, a warm hand covered his, removing it from Leorio's face so a kiss could be pressed to his palm.  
  
   
  
“But I've been getting better at Nen, and they got me like it was nothing. That pink-haired girl-”  
  
   
  
“Machi.”  
  
   
  
Leorio looked startled, giving him a questioning look. The blond sighed softly, a small smile curving his lips. “Her name is Machi. Continue.”  
  
   
  
Leorio pouted at him but continued his story. “Yeah, so Machi and Topknot-” Kurapika cut him off once more, providing a name to the nickname, but his friend waved him off. “They show up outta nowhere, then my hands are tied up with Machi’s Nen threads, and Topknot knocked me on my ass with his damn sword. Next thing I know, I’m being dragged backwards and got chucked into the car. I think I saw a body on the way, but I have no idea who it was. It’s frustrating.”  
  
   
  
At some point during the story, Kurapika had closed his eyes, just listening and trying not to get more upset. When Leorio finished speaking, he opened his eyes again, staring at the subtle pattern on his friend’s shirt. “That person was probably the woman I hired to protect you.”  
  
   
  
“What do you mean by that?”  
  
   
  
“I hired bodyguards to watch over you, Senritsu, and the kids. Seems like you were the only one who didn’t notice. Seems very like you.” He said the last sentence with a chuckle, and if it weren’t for the fact that he did laugh, Leorio probably would have gotten very offended. Regardless, Kurapika did hear some grumbling coming from the other.  
  
   
  
Red eyes flicked upwards to meet brown, the realization of how close they were laying had him blushing slightly. When he realized Leorio was still holding his hand, his heart skipped a beat, only hesitating a moment before he moved both of their hands back to Leorio's cheek, carefully pulling himself closer. He watched the other prop himself up on his elbow, watched him lean forward.  
  
   
  
Kurapika could feel his heart racing, beginning to thump erratically in his rib cage as the distance between them shrank. He felt the faintest brush of his lips against Leorio's before the door to the bedroom opened loudly, startling the two apart. He looked up to see who had entered the room, praying it wasn’t Chrollo; if it was, then he was prepared to protect Leorio, even if he was killed in the process.  Still, he wouldn’t deny it if someone said he internally sighed in relief when he saw it was Kalluto, who was saying that it was time for Leorio to go. The doctor-in-training grumbled and got up, moving around to pack up the last few bits of medical supplies. The Kurta sat up, watching him walk around.  
  
   
  
Just when he thought Leorio was going to leave without a word, he walked over to Kurapika, barely giving the blond time to stand up before he was pulled into an embrace. Before he could return it, Leorio was pulling back. He felt the other’s free hand tilt his face up, and without a moment of hesitation, the brunette’s mouth was on his.  
  
   
  
The Kurta’s eyes were wide, heart racing so much he thought it would burst out of his chest from the shock. After a moment his eyes closed, pressing into the kiss. His hands twisted into Leorio’s shirt, pulling him closer, desperation starting to color his emotions. He felt something gently wrap around his hands, pulling him away from Leorio -- or more accurately, Leorio away from him. He opened his eyes and saw a swarm of little pieces of paper covering both of their hands and pulling the other back. With a glance around Leorio, he saw Kalluto put their fan away, and paper falling to floor silently.  
  
   
  
“Come, Boss doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Kalluto stepped to the side to allow Leorio to go past them. Leorio looked regretful as he turned away from Kurapika, stepping out of the room. Kalluto was giving the blond and unreadable look, then followed the brunette downstairs, closing the door behind them.


	22. [Release Arc] Chapter 6: Please Hang Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do I keep traumatizing my baby? Please tell me? Shorter chapter than normal, not as short as the previous. Sorry it took so long to get this out, I had midterms going on and I quit my job and had to completely refix my sleep schedule. I will be back on a regular posting schedule, I promise!

_“Come, Boss doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Kalluto stepped to the side to allow Leorio to go past them. Leorio looked regretful as he turned away from Kurapika, stepping out of the room. Kalluto was giving the blond and unreadable look, then followed the brunette downstairs, closing the door behind them._  
  
Later that day, Chrollo showed up again finally, bringing him food and water, and staying until he ate all of it. _‘Guess Leorio told him what he told me about the diagnosis._ ’ His stomach was cramping from being too full, but it was likely he was going to throw it up within the hour, so he bore with it, laying on his side once he was done.  
  
The Troupe leader took the plate to the kitchen, returning to the room afterward. The man seemed awkward around Kurapika, and he had no clue why. Chrollo soon slipped from his mind as Leorio returned to swirl in his thoughts, his skin tingling when he remembered the kiss. At this point, he had managed to tell the negative side of his brain to shut up about his insecurities.  
  
Once Leorio had left earlier, the blond’s thoughts had become a tornado of happiness and doubts -- happy that his newly discovered feelings were reciprocated, how (surprisingly) comfortable he felt in his friend’s embrace, and happy that Leorio was so understanding of what was uncomfortable for him. Doubt was fogging up that happiness, making him wonder if maybe Leorio just kissed him out of pity, or what if he was just hiding how uncomfortable he was in order to make the blond feel better? That wasn’t too far out of left field, Leorio was almost ridiculously kind, and with him in doctor mode, it’s his job to make his patient feel better. So who's to say that isn’t what he was doing?  
  
Kurapika tried to push his worries from his mind in order to attempt sleep, but the bed dipping behind him reminded him that he wasn’t alone in the room, so he made an effort to stay awake in case Chrollo tried anything. He closed his eyes to avoid conversation, but stayed alert, barely suppressing a shudder when the warmth radiating off of Chrollo curled around his body. A hand ran along his side in a soothing manner, stopping only once when it reached the sharp dip between his ribs and hips.  
  
He heard Chrollo tut behind him before that hand slid forward to run along his barely flat belly -- he wasn’t technically showing yet, but the skin around his lower abdomen was firm, indicating the location of the growing child within him. He felt the hand slip under his shirt and make its way up his torso. He was barely able to contain his gasp when it reached its goal, gently massaging his chest.  
  
The Kurta tried to discreetly roll away from the other but was only held more firmly against Chrollo’s torso. He curled up a bit more, but it didn’t stop the other. The Troupe leader was starting to get more forceful, and after one particularly harsh pinch and tug on one of his nipples, Kurapika whimpered and grabbed the offending hand, trying to pull him away. The other didn’t let him be removed, simply shifting so he could push the blond onto his back, switching his hand to the blond’s other breast and attack the hurt one with his mouth.  
  
After another whimper escaped with a moan, the Kurta was trying to dislodge Chrollo once again. “Y-you know, the doc-doctor said forcing yourself… on me is- is bad for the baby-!” He whined when he was bitten, his eyes screwed shut to avoid looking at what the other was doing.  
  
“Yes, but sex is good for the child, so if you stopped fighting me, then I wouldn’t have to force anything and risk hurting you and our child.” Kurapika whimpered again, cursing his traitorous body when he felt one of Chrollo's hands travel down, easily pushing between his legs to play with his wetness. Chrollo verbally made note of such, and when it became obvious that the Troupe leader wasn’t going to stop, the blond regrettably stopped trying to push him away and focused on ignoring him.  
  
It was difficult, but he believed he was doing rather well aside from the occasional noise. At least, he was doing well until penetration. Then he had to actively force his response down, a hand clamped over his mouth to muffle anything. If his legs parted more to accommodate the other, well, there was no way to prove that.  
  
When he turned his head away to avoid looking at Chrollo, he saw his phone screen was lit up with a received text. In an effort to continue ignoring the other, he picked up his phone and checked who it was. It was a text from Leorio, telling Kurapika to let him know if Chrollo forces him to do anything again within the next few days. He breathlessly laughed at the irony, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the other. Within moments, all movement had stopped and the phone was snatched from his hand -- Chrollo was typing something up before the blond could retaliate.  
  
Kurapika tried to sit up, but the moment his hips moved, he winced and grit his teeth against the moan that attempted to escape him. He flopped back down into the pillows, glaring at Chrollo weakly. He heard his phone start to vibrate regularly with an incoming call. “What the hell d-did you tell him?”  
  
When the dark-haired man met his gaze, the blond shivered slightly at the coldness in his eyes. “I simply asked, ‘What if he already did?’ Should I answer it?” Before Kurapika could give an answer, Chrollo pressed the accept call button, putting it on speaker and tossing it on the bed next to Kurapika’s face. The blond opened his mouth to tell Leorio to hang up, now, but then the Troupe leader thrust into him roughly; the resulting moan that was ripped from his throat echoed in the now silent room.  
  
To say Kurapika was mortified was putting it lightly.  
  
He tried to clamp his mouth shut to avoid any more noises reaching the phone receiver, but Chrollo stopped him, forcing his mouth open by physically holding his lower jaw, and kept thrusting. Kurapika tried to pull his hand away, but his hands were pinned next to his face with Chrollo’s free hand. He was unable to hide the moans and whines caused by the intercourse, silently praying that Leorio had hung up already when he realized what was happening. He didn’t realize he had started crying, audible sobs sounding between the pleasured noises.  
  


* * *

  
  
Chrollo had kept going for a while, making Kurapika orgasm a few times before he finished. The blond’s throat was raw again, and he was surprised he hadn’t vomited. When Chrollo had finished, he had leaned down next to the receiver and had simply said “this is what happens when you put your lips on my treasure” before he left the room angrily.  
  
Hearing this had put a bad taste in his mouth, and he hoped Leorio had hung up as soon as he realized what was happening. But when he turned and weakly picked up his phone, the screen lit up, the time on the phone call still ticking away. The Kurta clenched his teeth in anger, taking the call off speaker and placing it against his ear. “Leorio..?”  
  
He heard his friend scramble for the phone, and once it was presumably against Leorio’s ear, Kurapika could hear the other sniffling softly. “I-Is he gone Pika?” The Kurta gave a quiet affirmative, but before he could speak again, Leorio started apologizing profusely for kissing him when he was there earlier. The blond’s heart began to hurt, so he cut him off. “It’s fine Leorio. I-It made me happy...” Besides, he actual intercourse wasn’t as bad as others had been by a long shot. “Why didn’t you hang up…? I’m sure you realized what was going on rather quickly…”  
  
“I-I don’t know. I was shocked. I haven’t really been near my phone until now. I kinda dropped it earlier…” The blond scoffed quietly, but he didn’t argue. He heard Leorio trying to control his breathing, causing Kurapika to unintentionally start doing the same. “Kurapika, I’m so sorry he hurt you because of me. I am so sorry-”  
  
“Leorio. Stop. He didn’t really hurt me that much. Only my jaw is sore from him holding it open.” _‘And my pride, what little that’s left of it.’_ “I… I’m just very vo-vocal…” He blushed a bit, but he didn’t want Leorio beating himself up over something that probably was going to happen anyway. He let what he implied stay unvoiced. “I’m sorry you had to hear that… I tried to tell you to hang up, but he interrupted me…”  
  
The conversation slowed to a stop after that, Kurapika yawning as exhaustion started to take over. He heard Leorio ask if he wanted to hang up, but Kurapika told him no, quietly asking him to stay while he went to sleep. He figured he was being childish, but Leorio agreed without a second thought. The Kurta shifted in the bed and pulled the blankets over himself, keeping the phone perched on his cheek while he went to sleep.


End file.
